FI's stupid wedding ideas!

Swiftsong8 · July 2010

Hello again...well my Fi will be wearing a tux. Just not something fancy with tails. We agreed on the tux and the colors so thats no biggie now.He actually just sat down with me and read this entire post. He admits being ridiculous about buying the shoes and I guess was only kidding about the cane. Although he seemed beyond serious whe he first got it...and I think he may be lying a tad. But anyway...

Yes I am upset about some of the wedding. At the very begining his mother promised us thousands of dollars to go towards our wedding. Then one day she said she's not helping. This is after we bought save the dates and put a $500 deposit down on a not so cheap venue. Her financial situtaion hasnt changed. I swear she is trying to sabatoge my wedding. Why do you think Im so peeved about the lime green?! So the wedding that I had imagined just got taken from me. Me using taken for a lack of another word.

So now we are on a SUPER tight budget. Our ceremony space is not at all what I want but we can afford it. My FI is still living in the "my mother and your mother are paying for our wedding" mode. He needs to snap out of it.

And yes breaking up posts are easier to read. Honestly ina total ruush this morning and was just so heated I just typed the crap out of my keyboard.I will always have spelling mistakes...thats just me.Thank you PIRU for saying it nicely..unlike some other women on here.

Swiftsong8 · July 2010

Seshat411....yes I will make fun of her. I could sit here and give you 1001 things that she has done to me and my family. My FI doesnt even want her at the wedding but is feeling pressure from other family members to let her go. Perhaps that is why he said yes to the lime green pant suit.

[Deleted User] · July 2010

He said yes to the lime green suit so she could look silly and you could make fun of her? Nice son.

The general rule is that unless you have the money in hand, don't assume you have any. You have no idea what someone's personal financial situation is. My father spends money like he's made of it, but he's got an incredible amount of debt he's finally started to pay off. Planning a wedding on a tight budget isn't that hard, I did it and everything turned out perfectly.

I still don't see the big deal about the cane. But then again that's something most of my friends would do so it wouldn't be a big surprise to see it actually happen. But I will say that buying his mom a diamond ring is a little extreme.

Swiftsong8 · July 2010

My FMIL said to me..to my face...I got a new job making about 15 grand more a year. I will be very busy so I wll not be able to help you plan for this wedding. Therefore you will not be getting a dime from me. Yes...those were her words exactly. This was 2 weeks after she ok'd that fancy venue and sat next to us while my mother wrote the check out. Also promising to give my mother for half of the deposit.
This woman called my taste in wedding dresses disgusting. My children are bastards. I will never amount to anything. Trust me there is more too.
And you all wonder why I am pissed off at a lime green suit.
I think the cane idea is very cool. Just not at our wedding.

deepcovejackie · July 2010

OK, so there's way more going on under the surface of your relationships with both your FI and your FMIL. I'd focus on that, and not on lime green apparel or canes or money or wedding details.

[Deleted User] · July 2010

Like I said, don't assume you have the money until it's in your hand. But it does suck that your mom is out the cash because of it.

As for the other stuff, she sounds like a bitch but unfortunately you have to deal with her for the rest of your life. So, find a way to deal. Kill her with kindness, ignore her. Better yet, have your FI stand up for you and tell his mother that she has no right talking to you like that. If my MIL said my kids were bastards or that I'd never amount to anything, DH would never speak to her again.

She'll never change unless someone says something. Unless your FI is a momma's boy, in which case you're in for a lifetime of BS from her.

ricksang · July 2010

Sorry, but you sound controlling. Good luck with that once you get married. Men don't like to be told what do to all the time. You two also seem to have communication issues.

Also, the title of this board is Snarky Brides. I am not saying we are all that snarky, but what did you expect when you posted here?

Swiftsong8 · July 2010

My FI stands up to her all of the time. They hardly talk anymore. Only if they have to because of how she treats me.
Controlling..how? Because there are certain things that I want for my wedding and certain thngs that I dont? Yeah...like you RICKSANG never said no to your FI about wedding stuff? My FI has said no to me...its a 2 way street.
Snarky yes, even bitchy I can handle. Rude...thats just pathetic.

luckyme502 · July 2010

Well actually, I don't have jack shiit to do but sit around and be bitchy to strangers on the internet. I don't work and FI does most of the housework. I do have friends I hang out with, but when I am home, I love stalking around looking for innocent people to attack! I usually reserve the bitchy to whiney people telling strangers how busy and hard their lives are. How FI is so full of stupid ideas that you want to smack him and how grown woman shouldn't ask you for advice and then ignore it. Oh poor over worked you. You sound like you are about 19, I am hoping you are older, since you have 3 children.

Also, all your stress is based on life choices you made. You have chosen to have three kids and not be married. You are also choosing to make the wedding planning stressful. I have only been planning our wedding for 6 months and have had very little stress. Life choices. Learn how to make less stressful ones.

[Deleted User] · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_fis-stupid-wedding-ideas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:766456a3-06fb-4026-879c-edc86647c015Post:163e48de-b5b0-45f9-afb8-d4adc17f70a9">Re: FI's stupid wedding ideas!</a>:
[QUOTE]Well actually, I don't have jack shiit to do but sit around and be bitchy to strangers on the internet. Posted by luckyme502[/QUOTE]

This is pretty much all I have to do today, since I can't walk or drive anywhere. So much better than working.

Oh, and I said no to DH during the wedding planning process (such as a keg in the bathub, red shoes, and the first dance to the Doors), but never once did I call his ideas stupid. You say you hate people being rude, well that's about as rude as you can get to the person you supposedly love. If DH said my ideas were stupid, I'd stop sharing altogether.

deepcovejackie · July 2010

OP--You mean to say your FI wants to buy his mother a diamond ring "for all her help with the wedding." Yet you're saying that she withdrew funding and is speaking badly of you and your kids. Yikes. You have a FI problem, not a wedding issue.

Nebb · July 2010

I have a strong suspicion there is a LOT more to this story we are not getting regarding your FMIL and how she feels about you. I think it probably has to do with your bad attitude and sense of entitlement.

ricksang · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_fis-stupid-wedding-ideas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:766456a3-06fb-4026-879c-edc86647c015Post:a7018bbb-2b6d-4661-9765-21965e4c1501">Re: FI's stupid wedding ideas!</a>:
[QUOTE]My FI stands up to her all of the time. They hardly talk anymore. Only if they have to because of how she treats me. Controlling..how? Because there are certain things that I want for my wedding and certain thngs that I dont? Yeah...like you RICKSANG never said no to your FI about wedding stuff? My FI has said no to me...its a 2 way street. Snarky yes, even bitchy I can handle. Rude...thats just pathetic.
Posted by Swiftsong8[/QUOTE]

No. I didn't say no to what he wanted to wear or what he bought for his GM. I didn't really like the suits my H picked out but you know what, they made him happy. Would you like it if he told that you couldn't wear your wedding dress? What if he told you couldn't pick XYZ gift for your BMs or mom? Pick your battles.

Snarky kind of has the undertone of bitchy. If you don't want bitchy answers, you should post on your local or your club board. National boards are a little less subdued.

deepcovejackie · July 2010

I disagree OP, these aren't bitchy answers. We can only read what you write. We're responding to the information given to us. We're not mind-readers. I'm seriously concerned about what you're saying with respect to FI and FMIL. Red flags everywhere.

[Deleted User] · July 2010

Wait. I'm confused. Why on earth would your FI want to buy his mom a diamond ring if he can barely stand her and has stopped talking to her?

deepcovejackie · July 2010

Yep red flag #1, Cew.

Nebb · July 2010

Oooooooh maybe the ring isnt even for his mom at all, if you get what I mean!

deepcovejackie · July 2010

OP seems to have gone away.

luckyme502 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_fis-stupid-wedding-ideas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:766456a3-06fb-4026-879c-edc86647c015Post:a926866d-25fc-43e1-a1c0-ea56872c45c7">Re: FI's stupid wedding ideas!</a>:
[QUOTE]OP seems to have gone away.
Posted by deepcovejackie[/QUOTE]

She is too busy to spend time conversing with strangers on the internet.

deepcovejackie · July 2010

Oh right, I forgot. Important people to see.

brookelynpaisley · July 2010

She's gone because she's reazlied that we've poked gigantic holes in her pathetic story.

I'm sorry, but if you've got 3 kids of your own, isn't it well past time to stop relying on your parents to pay for your wedding?

gldlvsdgs · July 2010

He, He...I'm usually the one with the stupid ideas. In my defense, they are usually just jokes because I'm so upset with the process!

Yes, his ideas seem a little strange/unreasonable and yes, it is confusing that his mother would choose lime green when everyone else is going to be wearing a darker color (and she knows this)! Maybe you could show her pics of the other dresses and see if she wants to change her mind? Hopefully you still have time!

As for the FI, if you figure a good way to talk him out of his strange ideas, let me know! It would be a useful skill for marriage!!

MarriedInAFever · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_fis-stupid-wedding-ideas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:766456a3-06fb-4026-879c-edc86647c015Post:e71b2037-bdb8-4db5-b353-4685dceaa199">Re: FI's stupid wedding ideas!</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm sorry, but if you've got 3 kids of your own, isn't it well past time to stop relying on your parents to pay for your wedding?
Posted by brookelynpaisley[/QUOTE]

But everyone deserves their special day!!!

brookelynpaisley · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_fis-stupid-wedding-ideas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:766456a3-06fb-4026-879c-edc86647c015Post:8e8ab31d-5f9a-4247-820b-e50cfdd5e051">Re: FI's stupid wedding ideas!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FI's stupid wedding ideas! : But everyone deserves their special day!!!
Posted by MarriedInAFever[/QUOTE]

Oh, right, I forgot. Silly me.

mica178 · July 2010

Lime green is a funky color, but for a casual lunchtime wedding, why is OP putting everyone in dark colors?

I don't know why a son would buy a diamond ring for his mother. That just sounds weird. Especially when OP is fussing over $75 shoes.

jennylove810 · July 2010

She lives on the CT board.. has posted several rants on dress shopping.

I also thought she was 19-21 years old.. turns out she's 30. ::facepalm::

Piru · July 2010

^Ouch

Nebb · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_fis-stupid-wedding-ideas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:766456a3-06fb-4026-879c-edc86647c015Post:d8acd6f7-1f66-40fd-90bd-252fd5acbdca">Re: FI's stupid wedding ideas!</a>:
[QUOTE]She lives on the CT board.. has posted several rants on dress shopping. I also thought she was 19-21 years old.. turns out she's 30. ::facepalm::
Posted by jennylove810[/QUOTE]
While its difficult to read through her older posts, theyre actually quite amusing. I stick by my previous statements.

ricksang · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_fis-stupid-wedding-ideas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:766456a3-06fb-4026-879c-edc86647c015Post:c84e9cdd-4b93-4ec3-8ab7-31dbffa0596d">Re: FI's stupid wedding ideas!</a>:
[QUOTE]Oooooooh maybe the ring isnt even for his mom at all, if you get what I mean!
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

LOL You are so bad <3

Steph0871 · July 2010

well that was entertaining.

I"m a little creeped out by the whole diamond ring "for FI's mom" idea, to be honest. I mean, FI and I appreciate the help and love and support of our moms, but that's what photo albums are for, right?

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