My fiance and I have a 3 year old daughter, who is going to be our flower girl. She is very well behaved and very excited about her role in the wedding. However, my FI just informed me today that he feels bad about not asking his sister's 4 year old son to be the ring-bearer. FI seems to think if you have a flower, you must have a ring bearer as well.
HOWEVER, his sisters 4 year old son is an absolute terror! At every family event he is racing around at top speed, throwing things, having tantrums, and being rude. And inevitably, he gets our daughter wound up too, so she joins him in the crazy racing all over the house! At our christmas party he was taking our ornaments and slam dunking them into LIT jar candles, splashing wax everywhere, burning people and making a mess!
And of course, his mom and dad, my SIL and BIL, are totally in denial about his behavior being so awful. They have no control over him and don't bother making him behave. Their house is a landfill because the crazy son gets full run of the house and they just shrug, and pick up after him!
My huge concern is that on the day of the wedding, if this kid is the ring-bearer, he's going to be a disaster. He'll either refuse to walk down the aisle and scream at the top of his lungs (like he does when his mother asks him to do almost anything) or he'll be a human tornado and run through the church at top speed. I'm concerned enough about our daughter being shy and remembering what she has to do, and getting her to sit quietly... if she is around this kid before the ceremony chances are good he'll have her totally wired up and crazy before it even begins!
I've told my FI about my concerns but he says he'll feel guilty unless he asks his sister about it. I don't think his sister is even going to consider that fact that her son can barely handle daily pre-school, let alone a wedding! I don't want to be dreading this kid walking down the aisle... what should I do?!