Catholic Weddings

typical timeline?

Ok, so I am getting married in 2 months. FI and I have completed all of our marriage prep for the church (FOCCUS, workshops, etc), but still haven't met with the priest to discuss the ceremony, readings, etc. I called the rectory about a week ago, and the secretary told me that my priest "really hadn't been feeling well" and she didn't want to schedule an appt for FI and I to go talk to him. She just told me that he would call me back, but that it probably "wouldn't be for a while." I saw my priest briefly at mass yesterday (another one of the church priests said mass), and he seemed fine....? I didn't get to him in time to ask about a meeting though :/ Should I be getting nervous? How far in advance did you ladies figure out all of your ceremony details?
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Re: typical timeline?

  • I'm interested in what other brides have to say. My priest said April for my May 5th wedding. Which leaves me nervous that it won't be enough time to design, print, and assemble my programs. Can't work on it until he ok's the mass, etc
  • We had our "ceremony meeting" about 3 weeks before the wedding. Our priest said he wouldn't remember anything we discussed any earlier than that. (Funny thing, he still didn't remember anything we had discussed... sigh.)
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  • We had a fortunate advantage that our church actually did our programs for us as part of our wedding fee, but the music director who was in charge of this got really behind and didn't finalize them until the week of the wedding!  He had even accidentally put the wrong date and time on the cover for the first draft :-) 

    It may be necessary for you to get a program draft and assembly components as far as you can get them without the information from this meeting like music selections, etc.  There are some program templates that Riss has made available for Catholic weddings both with and without a Mass that you could use as a starting point.  What do your programs entail?  Printing?  Stapling?  Ribbon or other paper deco?  The printing process can be the most time consuming aspect if you have to worry about formatting and drafts.  If you have enough help with assembly when additional things like ribbon and deco are involved, you can crank out everything in an afternoon.
  • Our parish gave out sample programs for two reasons.  1) To outline the order of the mass.  2) To advertise the services of one of the coordinators who made programs.

    Our meeting was just at the end of summer for my November wedding, but I was an exception, because I requested that we hammer out any details before school started and I got super busy.  They said they normally meet a few weeks out to go over final details.

    As far as "okaying the mass," you can design a preliminary program based on the outlines on the site Riss made, or use catholicweddinghelp.com to see what you're going to need.  The order of mass is going to be pretty similar, and then it's really up to you how much detail you need.   I had mine mostly designed on Zazzle (the stuff like who was participating in the wedding -- that doesn't change), and then at our meeting they gave me another program that included mass and I used that to make sure I had all the details for the order of the ceremony down.

    I wouldn't stress.  We didn't ACTUALLY meet with our priest regarding the order of anything until the night of our rehearsal.  We had dinner with him several times during the planning, but we didn't talk wedding, except for him to give us "homework."  All the details were handled by the coordinator and the music director (who worked things out with me early but promptly forgot everything I asked).
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  • FI and I just finalized our music with the organist last weekend.  But we reviewed the readings with our priest 3 weeks ago, so that put us out about 8 weeks from the wedding for our last meeting with the priest.  I had been previously working on our program since last year.  I used the template Riss put on the website, the link to the website is in the sticky at the top of the Catholic Board.  I didn't put full readings or anything like that in the program.  I wanted to leave it one full page, instead of multiple pages, but it still includes all parts of the mass.

    If you received your Together for Life book and reviewed all of the readings, you can also put those in your program now. 

    We also had a similar issue with our first priest.  We were always going to be married in our current parish, but by an outside priest.  This priest was at my FI's old parish, prior to it closing.  We were supposed to meet him in December for our final meeting before the wedding.  We called 3 times with no call back.  I finally called the parish and spoke with the secretary who said our priest was out indefinetly, with no explanation.  Then the pastor of that parish called and said our priest may not be back for our wedding in March.  So our file was sent to the pastor at our current parish and he is now performing our ceremony.  I see you are also in South Jersey, so wondering if we had the same priest? 

  • Father gave us the Together for Life at our initial meeting along with the worksheet to decide our selections.  I went ahead and mailed our selections and a draft of our program to him when we sent him the other documents he had requested (death certificate for FI former wife etc).  Father then just called me and said everything was fine but suggested one small change.

    Perhaps that would make it easier for your priest.
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  • We didn't have our meeting until a couple of weeks before the wedding, but I had the programs all designed and mocked out already. We met with the musician the day before we met with the priest (or vice versa) and those things were added at that time, too.

    We DIY'd the programs. I had the design ready to go right after our meetings. I had already made the covers (stamped with a cross) and pre-cut the ribbon ties. I printed them at Kinkos and H and I stuffed and folded everything one evening. I spent another evening tieing the ribbons (popped in a movie and the time flew!). It was pretty easy.

    Honestly, programs are something that are nice for guests, but the guests are unlikely to fret over them. They mattered to me, so I put a lot of time and love into them. There is a lot you can get done without meeting with the priest (and then just get his ok). You know the wedding party, family, order of mass, the readings you've tenatively chosen, other comments, etc.
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  • At our last meeting with the priest during the holiday season, he gave us a book to read through of different scriptures we can use and their meanings.

    We will meet with him and the organist in March and again in April to discuss our decisions.
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  • We got the Together for Life book at our initial meeting too. Our priest told us to pick out all the readings, fill out the worksheet and mail it back to him. If he had any questions or concerns, he said he would call us. We're also doing pre cana next month. We're bringing in our own musician (family friend) so we have to arrange all of the music between him and the church's music person.
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