I think that a happy medium would be to say for example "Please arrive by 5:15 to be seated as the ceremony will begin promptly at 5:30." That way you give people a 15 min window, but aren't lying to them about the start time.
My wedding ceremony and reception are taking place in the same spot and it is one room...there is no back door to close once the ceremony starts and our ceremony is taking place in the middle of the room...so it's not like they can sneak in either (not to mention the cold blast of air everyone will get being our wedding is on NYE!) So I put the time I'd like our wedding to start on our invitations, but I probably won't actually have the wedding start until about 15 minutes after that to make sure that everyone who said they would be there is actually there. I just want it to be perfect. I wouldn't wait a half hour, but I think 15 minutes is reasonable to wait to make sure everyone is seated. And seeing as we have no ushers, no vendors, no DOC...I think we can sort of plan this out and not worry about vendors waiting for us...just our guests who will have little snacks and drinks at their tables while they wait for the ceremony to start. I think it's a personal choice as to whether or not you put a "fake" start time...it's all up to you and your guests...and you should know them anyway! Good luck to all with what you choose.
I totally believe in putting a fake time if you know that your family is always late. I had to change the time on my invites because my Fiance's family is always late no matter what!! I would hate to have my guests walking into the church as i'm ready to walk down the isle. I hate for some people to think i'm rude but its not my fault that people dont know how to plan enough time to get to the ceremony.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_half-hour-before-start-time?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:63c124c5-82a2-4a1a-a46f-9fb31fc9e2cdPost:dcea6af4-21aa-4479-811b-ee6b3c8fccd1">Re: half hour before start time?</a>: [QUOTE]I totally believe in putting a fake time if you know that your family is always late. I had to change the time on my invites because my Fiance's family is always late no matter what!! I would hate to have my guests walking into the church as i'm ready to walk down the isle. I hate for some people to think i'm rude but its not my fault that people dont know how to plan enough time to get to the ceremony. Posted by Betsy28[/QUOTE]<div> </div><div>Good plan. So be rude to the people that actually can show up on time to account for the people that are rude. That won't make you seem rude at all....
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_half-hour-before-start-time?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:63c124c5-82a2-4a1a-a46f-9fb31fc9e2cdPost:68f32f7d-c534-41d0-85b4-f1f8754ca921">Re: half hour before start time?</a>: [QUOTE]In Response to Re: half hour before start time? : I definitely agree with this. My fiance is from Puerto Rico, and his family is always late! They were even 1/2 late to his graduation. One of his friends just married an American girl, and the couple decided to print two invites - one for the states, and one for PR. They put the start time as 30 min earlier on the PR invite. Others have suggested to write "American Time" after the time (which seems kind of tacky) on the invite. We haven't made any decisions as to what we will do, but I'm not going to lie, this is actually a huge concern for me. We are having the wedding in PR, and <strong>I will be really disappointed if half of the crowd is just arriving as we are walking down the aisle</strong>. Posted by MrsRiveraToBe[/QUOTE]
<div>Maybe that will teach them to show up places on time. The day is about you and your FI. Not them. You accommodating for them to be late, is making it about them.</div>
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_half-hour-before-start-time?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:63c124c5-82a2-4a1a-a46f-9fb31fc9e2cdPost:901a29f0-14b9-4941-b0a6-51b0d8ab72cc">Re: half hour before start time?</a>: [QUOTE]Well I put the wrong time on my invitations, you have to know your people. If you the type that will start on time and you know you won't have stragglers then yes put the correct time but you may be running late on your day (with pictures etc.) or your family are always late then you should definitely put the wrong time but tell your vendors the correct time because they are usually not late. I am starting later than my invitation says but I things planned for those people who do show up on time. Posted by marybrockington[/QUOTE]
I agree with Mary! You have to know your wedding guests in order to judge this. Between my and my fiance's families and friends, it is a guarantee that half of the guests will be late. I would prefer that a small number of guests wait 30-45 minutes rather than meeting them at the door! For my invitations, I plan to put 2:30, instead of the real start time of 3pm for my church wedding. The vendors (band and organist), of course will be given the REAL time, however, they will entertain those that arrive early.
It really depends. The polite thing is the actual time, however, at every wedding I've been too, roughly half the people are there on time for the ceremony... so my friends say they should have put it earlier. Many people do assume they put it earlier so they arrive late intentionally. I am having my wedding out in the country and then there is only one turn off (or you have to turn around at a dead end a mile later on a gravel road). So I'm torn as well. One possible way to counter this entirely is to provide transportation from a meeting spot and say 'the bus/limo/drivers will be leaving X at X:XX sharp to get there by X:XX in time for the X:XX ceremony' This can be done on a neat inserted note...
Our resort highlt suggests it. Its "the kind of restort where people tend to wander and explore" I have been told. So we are putting 5:30 on the invited with the intention of it starting at 6. I think it just depends on your venue and size of guest list.
You should not forget this is your wedding. If some guests decide to be late that is entirely thier problem. It is them who should think about the timing and not you. The time the wedding starts should be the time the wedding starts! Believe me, everyone will be giving late comers strange looks when they arrive late. You should be punctual, honouring your guests who respected the timetable.
None of you must have hispanic people in your family! Hispanics are known for giving themselves a 30 minute window on the invitation. Might be something to keep in mind if your groom's family has hispanic people... unless you want people walking into the cermony site at the same time you do... no bueno!
Please don't classify an entire group of people as tardy. How would they ever be able to get to work on time?
And if you are of that ethnicity, this is when you say, "Just to let you know, I'm walking down the aisle at X. If you come in late then you're going to miss it."
It really depends on your guests. If you know them to be late almost all the time to almost any event, then I suggest that to be done. You have no idea how many weddings I have attended in where the guests arrive super late. If you know your guests like to be there early, then go ahead with it
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_half-hour-before-start-time?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:63c124c5-82a2-4a1a-a46f-9fb31fc9e2cdPost:3e998269-ffa5-4a78-99f3-1f5fe8fc4db4">Re: half hour before start time?</a>: [QUOTE]But what about the REST of your guests? I agree, it's awful to deal with the late arrivals. But that's where you tell them in advance, "We really are starting at 2 o'clock. If you're not there you'll miss it. Posted by banana468[/QUOTE] And have someone in the back so that late arrivals have to wait until after the processional. Seriously, it's not that complicated.
Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
I will not be telling all of my guest the correct time!!!!
I have a few relatives who are habitually late to every function we have ever had graduations, parties, baptism etc.
For those select few I will be telling them a false time to ensure they arrive at the correct time.
Also, consider the customs of your guest. There are a few people who traditionally are known to arrive late, and it is perfectly acceptable to them and their families.
Most courteous people show up at least 30 minutes early for a wedding anyways. Adding an additional (and unneccessary) 30 minutes to peoples wiat could make them a bit angry.
However, if you have a groom like mine (who is late for EVERYTHING) maybe tell him that the ceremony starts 30 minutes earlier than it really does to ensure that he is actually on time!!!!
I have a few people in my family that are late to everything! I plan on writing "Please arrive by 4:45 as the ceremony will begin promptly at 5pm" or something to that effect.
I think it's rude to have the prompt people wait all day for the ceremony to start, and you really shouldn't accommodate the late comers. Just make it very clear on your invitations that it will start on time whether they're there or not.
Great idea!!!!!! My fiancé's family and friends are the exact same way... ALWAYS LATE!! So I think I might actually consider doing the same thing and put a different time on theirs!!
Re: half hour before start time?
[QUOTE]I totally believe in putting a fake time if you know that your family is always late. I had to change the time on my invites because my Fiance's family is always late no matter what!! I would hate to have my guests walking into the church as i'm ready to walk down the isle. I hate for some people to think i'm rude but its not my fault that people dont know how to plan enough time to get to the ceremony.
Posted by Betsy28[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Good plan. So be rude to the people that actually can show up on time to account for the people that are rude. That won't make you seem rude at all....
</div>
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: half hour before start time? : I definitely agree with this. My fiance is from Puerto Rico, and his family is always late! They were even 1/2 late to his graduation. One of his friends just married an American girl, and the couple decided to print two invites - one for the states, and one for PR. They put the start time as 30 min earlier on the PR invite. Others have suggested to write "American Time" after the time (which seems kind of tacky) on the invite. We haven't made any decisions as to what we will do, but I'm not going to lie, this is actually a huge concern for me. We are having the wedding in PR, and <strong>I will be really disappointed if half of the crowd is just arriving as we are walking down the aisle</strong>.
Posted by MrsRiveraToBe[/QUOTE]
<div>Maybe that will teach them to show up places on time. The day is about you and your FI. Not them. You accommodating for them to be late, is making it about them.</div>
[QUOTE]Well I put the wrong time on my invitations, you have to know your people. If you the type that will start on time and you know you won't have stragglers then yes put the correct time but you may be running late on your day (with pictures etc.) or your family are always late then you should definitely put the wrong time but tell your vendors the correct time because they are usually not late. I am starting later than my invitation says but I things planned for those people who do show up on time.
Posted by marybrockington[/QUOTE]
I agree with Mary! You have to know your wedding guests in order to judge this. Between my and my fiance's families and friends, it is a guarantee that half of the guests will be late. I would prefer that a small number of guests wait 30-45 minutes rather than meeting them at the door! For my invitations, I plan to put 2:30, instead of the real start time of 3pm for my church wedding. The vendors (band and organist), of course will be given the REAL time, however, they will entertain those that arrive early.
http://www.twokidsfrommiami.com
And if you are of that ethnicity, this is when you say, "Just to let you know, I'm walking down the aisle at X. If you come in late then you're going to miss it."
I never understood the logic that the poor actions of some mean that those behaving properly are punished.
[QUOTE]But what about the REST of your guests? I agree, it's awful to deal with the late arrivals. But that's where you tell them in advance, "We really are starting at 2 o'clock. If you're not there you'll miss it.
Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]
And have someone in the back so that late arrivals have to wait until after the processional. Seriously, it's not that complicated.
This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.
Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
I have a few relatives who are habitually late to every function we have ever had graduations, parties, baptism etc.
For those select few I will be telling them a false time to ensure they arrive at the correct time.
Also, consider the customs of your guest. There are a few people who traditionally are known to arrive late, and it is perfectly acceptable to them and their families.
Most courteous people show up at least 30 minutes early for a wedding anyways. Adding an additional (and unneccessary) 30 minutes to peoples wiat could make them a bit angry.
However, if you have a groom like mine (who is late for EVERYTHING) maybe tell him that the ceremony starts 30 minutes earlier than it really does to ensure that he is actually on time!!!!
I think it's rude to have the prompt people wait all day for the ceremony to start, and you really shouldn't accommodate the late comers. Just make it very clear on your invitations that it will start on time whether they're there or not.