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to register or not to register... HELP

xo_liz_xoxo_liz_xo
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Ok I need some advice...

My Fiance and I have been living together in our house for a year +
we already have all the pots, pans and blenders we need,
However, everybody is pressuring us to register for wedding gifts.
My Fiance and I just found out we will both be losing our job in september (wedding's in June) and what we really need is help paying for our wedding/honeymoon.

How do we word that so it doesn't sound tacky?
Or do we just stick to bed bath and beyond and be thankful for what we get?

Please Help!!!!

Thank you

Liz & Brad
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Re: to register or not to register... HELP

  • MissLeahMMissLeahM member
    1000 Comments
    If you can't pay for your wedding, you should probably scale back.

    Its always nice to register, for your guests.

    Things like blankets/bedsheets and towels work because they ware down eventually.
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  • opalsky007opalsky007 member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    Just do a traditional registry. Odds are, most of your friends and family will find out by word of mouth that you could use cash and will give it, but it's never polite to ask for it. In the meantime, don't overextend yourselves--plan the wedding you can afford based on your situation now, not any gifts you hope to get.

    Sorry about your job situation, that stinks.
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  • laurenclaire1386laurenclaire1386
    5000 Comments
    Word of mouth. Let your MOH or your mom or whoever know that what y'all really need is money. Just don't mention it anywhere on your invitation, no cute little poem or anything like that. Also, there will be people who will want to get you a physical gift. If you don't point them in the right direction, your liable to wind up with a bunch of crap you don't want. I would suggest making a small registry of upgrades (towels, sheets, decorating crap for the house, etc.) If you need ideas on what to register for, there's a sticky on the Registering and Gifts board that's a really comprehensive list and might have some stuff you need but haven't thought of.
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  • andyandhillaryandyandhillary member
    1000 Comments
    You should register.  Things always need updating, even pots and pans can get crummy fast depending on the type.  Get towels, sheets, dishes.  Just upgrade on what you currently have. 
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  • MrsHaH101010MrsHaH101010
    100 Comments
    I agree with everyone.  You should create a small registry for things that need upgrading around your house or things that you have always wanted but never spend the money yourselves.  Then, have your family and close friends spread the word that what you really want is money.

    Good luck!
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  • TurtlesAllTheWayDownTurtlesAllTheWayDown member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    I'm going to go against the grain and say that you don't have to register. If anyone asks say, "Well, we just want people to come celebrate with us of course! But we are going to be laid off soon, and we'd really like to take a honeymoon before then." People will get the hint and probably give cash. But ONLY tell them if they ask. Some people WILL want to give you physical gifts and you might end up with some ugly vases and a lot fo picture frames anyway, so you take your chances if you don't register.
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  • tracy_ktracy_k member
    Seventh Anniversary 500 Comments
    Of course you don't HAVE to register. :)

    However, people will give you gifts that are not money, and having a registry helps ensure that the gifts you do receive are things you might actually want, as opposed to stuff you neither want nor need (and then end up unable to return because there was no gift receipt).

    We registered at Amazon in addition to more traditional stores (Crate & Barrel, Macy's) and received stuff like a GPS, portable DVD player, cookbooks, Seasons 1-3 of The Wire, etc. There's always stuff you can use.

    Also, what pps said about word of mouth. Have your parents tell anyone who asks that you already have lots of stuff and that money is always a good gift.
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  • emilyinchileemilyinchile member
    5000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_register-not-register-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:cb16e60b-5047-4010-b468-465a8dd968e8Post:c2edfda0-303d-4665-8f78-6a09c1fa0c87">Re: to register or not to register... HELP</a>:
    [QUOTE]You can register for your honeymoon! I don;t know the details because I didn't do it, but I've heard about it. People can pay for meals, or a hotel night stay, etc.
    Posted by Calumet[/QUOTE]

    This is a really controversial move and will likely offend some of your guests who see it as you flat out asking for money rather than the gift of "a romantic dinner on the beach" or whatever you put on there.

    Register for some of the things PPs have mentioned and hope word of mouth will take care of the rest. And start thinking of your budget as what you have right now so that any cash gifts will be a nice extra rather than feeling like you're entitled to checks that people never gave you.
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