Can we marry at a catholic church if we arent catholic?

klasnd22 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_can-marry-catholic-church-arent-catholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:959dc511-5522-475a-96af-37b6ba26f378Post:b5529bff-5f15-45cc-a8e0-0213f2e3e346">Re: Can we marry at a catholic church if we arent catholic?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Can we marry at a catholic church if we arent catholic? : AMEN! The Catholic Church is not going to let you get married in the Church if one party is not Catholic. Besides, who would you have marry you? No priest that I know would do it nor would they let another minister of a different denomination marry someone there. Marriage in the Catholic faith is taken very seriously and is one of the sacraments. Yes, Catholic churches are very beautiful, esp the older Gothic style ones. But please don't think you want to get married there for its beauty if you don't follow the faith or practice the faith. I am sure there are other beautiful non denominational churches in your area that would allow you to get married there.
Posted by MissySue20[/QUOTE]

I have been to quite a few weddings in my area where a couple had a dual faith ceremony in the Catholic church. Granted one party was Catholic, but both the minister and the priest had equal rolls in the ceremony.

aerinpegadrak · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_can-marry-catholic-church-arent-catholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:959dc511-5522-475a-96af-37b6ba26f378Post:130d7a8b-7042-4668-b2dc-ea1275524421">Re: Can we marry at a catholic church if we arent catholic?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Can we marry at a catholic church if we arent catholic? : It is rude, I'll grant that. It's also extremely hurtful to read posts stating that unless a wedding is Catholic, or in a building, or some other hoop is jumped through, it somehow isn't valid. I respect the CC, I was raised in it. But the CC's opinion of my venue, FI or anything else has no bearing on how "valid" or "sacred" my marriage will be. Period. You can say that the CC wants X or Y and that's fine and even useful. People need that information. God, however, is more then the vatican. He can speak for himself.
Posted by Adrini76[/QUOTE]
It's not that people are saying that secular or civil weddings aren't valid, not at all. But if you're getting married on THEIR turf, you need to follow their rules, not expect them to conform to what you want to do. I didn't particularly care how the Church regarded my marriage, but I haven't considered myself Catholic for several years now, and I specifically refused to incorporate any mention of religion or God into the ceremony because I didn't want to disrespect the Church by paying lip service to beliefs I no longer hold.

I'm not remotely religious (I'm Taoist by philosophy but not by practice), but I'm also of the opinion that it's disrespectful to use a house of worship as a pretty background, and that it belittles the vows you're taking.

rae19 · September 2010

FYI most Episcopalian churches will require you to be a member as well. I had clear documention of being raised Episcopalian my entire life, and we were still required to become members, attend church, go to premarital counseling etc., because we are getting married in a Episcopalian church not our own (our reception site is an hour away so we picked a church closer to that in same faith).

also my 2 cents on the surprise, surprise issue.. I agree that religious homes should not be "rented out" for "pretty stained windows, etc" - but I also think people need to be more tolerant and accepting in general of others' religions. I myself do not find the Catholic faith to be very accepting which is a huge turn-off when trying to convince others of "loving thy neighbor as thyself."

banana468 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_can-marry-catholic-church-arent-catholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:959dc511-5522-475a-96af-37b6ba26f378Post:a5efcf15-ef0a-4d7c-bebd-5d2778e2f316">Re: Can we marry at a catholic church if we arent catholic?</a>:
[QUOTE]FYI most Episcopalian churches will require you to be a member as well. I had clear documention of being raised Episcopalian my entire life, and we were still required to become members, attend church, go to premarital counseling etc., because we are getting married in a Episcopalian church not our own (our reception site is an hour away so we picked a church closer to that in same faith). also my 2 cents on the surprise, surprise issue.. I agree that religious homes should not be "rented out" for "pretty stained windows, etc" - but<strong> I also think people need to be more tolerant and accepting in general of others' religions. I myself do not find the Catholic faith to be very accepting which is a huge turn-off when trying to convince others of "loving thy neighbor as thyself.</strong>[/QUOTE]

I think this is a pretty hypocritical statement. If you're going to be accepting of others' religions then don't criticize a religion in the next sentence.

tborecky · October 2010

I wouldn't have minded if she wanted to get married in my church because it was beautiful. Some how, the beauty of the place puts me more in awe of the things humankind does inorder to show their devotion and dedication to God!

Belle2Be · October 2010

I don't understand why it's offensive to want a pretty building to be wed in? If it were an outside wedding you wouldn't want to say your vows next to a trash can or in a dump would you? *scratches head*...

Belle2Be · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_can-marry-catholic-church-arent-catholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:959dc511-5522-475a-96af-37b6ba26f378Post:fb4511fe-5af2-494c-884a-320277cd4da8">Re: Can we marry at a catholic church if we arent catholic?</a>:
[QUOTE]I wouldn't have minded if she wanted to get married in my church because it was beautiful. Some how, the beauty of the place puts me more in awe of the things humankind does inorder to show their devotion and dedication to God!
Posted by tborecky[/QUOTE]

I agree. Not to mention that its the same God, just different practices. It might be offensive if she asked if she could lie to the priest so she could get married there, but she just asked if Catholic Churches allow outside religions to marry in their churches, and I believe the answer is "It depends" :D

aerinpegadrak · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_can-marry-catholic-church-arent-catholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:959dc511-5522-475a-96af-37b6ba26f378Post:d6946139-8ec4-4395-8cd6-56e8e5aa35c8">Re: Can we marry at a catholic church if we arent catholic?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't understand why it's offensive to want a pretty building to be wed in? If it were an outside wedding you wouldn't want to say your vows next to a trash can or in a dump would you? *scratches head*...
Posted by Belle2Be[/QUOTE]
But it's not just a pretty building, it's a sacred space. Treating it as just a pretty building is exactly what's offensive.

mgietler76 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_can-marry-catholic-church-arent-catholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:959dc511-5522-475a-96af-37b6ba26f378Post:43aa5e60-40e5-4184-9b87-37d661eb3967">Re: Can we marry at a catholic church if we arent catholic?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Can we marry at a catholic church if we arent catholic? : Yeah, I still don't get it. But maybe its because to me buildings aren't sacred, its the people that make it so. That church could burn down and it wouldn't do anything to your faiths or strength in prayer, you could have the sermons under a tent or in a basement and it wouldn't be any less sacred. If she's religious, and believes in the same God, then why shouldn't she be able to marry under one of his roofs? I'm not trying to be combative, I'm honestly a little confused.
Posted by Belle2Be[/QUOTE]

It's Catholic Law that states : the Eucharistic celebration is to be carried out in a sacred place, unless a particular necessity requires otherwise, in which case it is to be held in another, suitable place. In which case if the church was to burn down, or a group of Catholics is gathered for the Eucharist in a location where there simply is no Catholic church available, or there is a church but it is too small for the number of faithful present, it is entirely permissible to celebrate Mass elsewhere.

So this is not merely a matter of of a beautiful building, I understand your logic but you must understand the Catholic church has laws about these things that I personally take very seriously, which is why it's offensive to me to have a member of a different religion marry in a place that the sacred nature of the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass isn't considered important.

Belle2Be · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_can-marry-catholic-church-arent-catholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:959dc511-5522-475a-96af-37b6ba26f378Post:47874d62-362b-4bb8-a19b-5c0132f223e1">Re: Can we marry at a catholic church if we arent catholic?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Can we marry at a catholic church if we arent catholic? : It's Catholic Law that states : the Eucharistic celebration is to be carried out in a sacred place, unless a particular necessity requires otherwise, in which case it is to be held in another, suitable place. In which case if the church was to burn down, or a group of Catholics is gathered for the Eucharist in a location where there simply is no Catholic church available, or there is a church but it is too small for the number of faithful present, it is entirely permissible to celebrate Mass elsewhere. So this is not merely a matter of of a beautiful building, I understand your logic but you must understand the Catholic church has laws about these things that I personally take very seriously, which is why it's offensive to me to have a member of a different religion marry in a place that the sacred nature of the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass isn't considered important.
Posted by mgietler76[/QUOTE]
Ah I see. I have no idea about most Catholic laws, I would imagine that most who aren't Catholic wouldn't?
What is "the sacred nature of the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass"? When did the OP or anyone say that this wasn't important? Or was saying they wanted to get married in a Catholic church even though they aren't Catholic implying that it isn't? (i'm learning all sorts of good stuff today, thanks btw!)

mgietler76 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_can-marry-catholic-church-arent-catholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:959dc511-5522-475a-96af-37b6ba26f378Post:05a6e459-9790-48f6-ae89-9d0a5148f6ea">Re: Can we marry at a catholic church if we arent catholic?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Can we marry at a catholic church if we arent catholic? : Ah I see. I have no idea about most Catholic laws, I would imagine that most who aren't Catholic wouldn't? What is <strong>"the sacred nature of the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass"?</strong> When did the OP or anyone say that this wasn't important? Or was saying they wanted to get married in a Catholic church even though they aren't Catholic implying that it isn't? (i'm learning all sorts of good stuff today, thanks btw!)
Posted by Belle2Be[/QUOTE]

The highlighted portion means basically that the the Mass is a sacred practice, the fact that the OP is not of Catholic faith and has no intention to convert yet wishes to marry in the Catholic church where Mass is a major part of the ceremony since marriage is a Sacrament is offensive. I hope that made sense lol Short version is OP wants to use something that is extremely important and religious to myself and other Catholics as merely a backdrop.

mgietler76 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_can-marry-catholic-church-arent-catholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:959dc511-5522-475a-96af-37b6ba26f378Post:cc84f9fb-a31d-409c-bf41-2fc96c2e6e4e">Re: Can we marry at a catholic church if we arent catholic?</a>:
[QUOTE]Ah. Well, you could take it as a compliment, Catholic churches are beautiful. Have you been to Italy? It's breathtaking. Anyway, it seemed an innocent question to me, it seemed wierd to have so many people say how offensive it was, thanks for shedding some light!
Posted by Belle2Be[/QUOTE]

Well that's just the thing, it's not a compliment it's offensive. Anyways, happy to help explain why some of us reacted that way (or at least myself) to the OP

Can we marry at a catholic church if we arent catholic?

Re: Can we marry at a catholic church if we arent catholic?

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