Cash Bar
Hi All,
I am confused about a couple of things, so I am wondering if you can help me.
Actually I know you can.
I have seen on other threads that a cash bar goes against etiquette. Which worries me.
We are having a social hour with Hors d'oeuvres an hour prior to dinner. Then after dinner we are will have 2 kegs and one on reserve(we havent decided on the specific type of beer yet). We may have a wine option, for people who do not prefer beer(but our reception package also comes with a wine pour DURING dinner), but once those run out (the 3 kegs and the wine option) it will turn into a cash bar.
Is this against etiquette?
I dont think my fiance and I can afford an open bar all night long for 300 guests.
Is this against etiquette?
I am not trying to be dense on this issue, I just do not know.
So if you could clear this up for me that would be great.
Re: Cash Bar
I can't say for sure, so wait for the other ladies to answer but I'm not sure about buying X amount and when it runs out, the bar is closed, but it definitely shouldn't go to a cash bar.
It is still against etiquette. If you run out of wine at your barbecue, would you have your neighbor charge your guests if he or she brought over more supplies?
Why don't you just have there be a limited quantity and stop serving alcohol after that. There's nothing worse than thinking it's an opne bar only to realize half way through that it changed to a cash bar and the guest doesn't have any cash on them.
[QUOTE]Hi All, I am confused about a couple of things, so I am wondering if you can help me. Actually I know you can. I have seen on other threads that a cash bar goes against etiquette. Which worries me. We are having a social hour with Hors d'oeuvres an hour prior to dinner. Then after dinner we are will have 2 kegs and one on reserve(we havent decided on the specific type of beer yet). We may have a wine option, for people who do not prefer beer(but our reception package also comes with a wine pour DURING dinner), but once those run out (the 3 kegs and the wine option) it will turn into a cash bar. Is this against etiquette? I dont think my fiance and I can afford an open bar all night long for 300 guests. Is this against etiquette? I am not trying to be dense on this issue, I just do not know. So if you could clear this up for me that would be great.
Posted by DoubleLL1118[/QUOTE]
Yes its rude. Your guests should not haive to pay for anything. Revisit your budget and see if you can make any adjustments to allow you to buy extra kegs and wine
Also 3 kegs for 300 people <em>might</em> last you an hour.. A keg typically holds about 140 beers. So that adds up to 420 beers, which mean less than 2 beers per person.
Thanks for you responses, I appreciate them.
I am really not trying to be dense about it.
I have just been to weddings and after things ran out of what was being served I never thought negatively about paying afterwards. (I am not saying that because I never thought twice about it doesn't make it against etiquette.)
So forgive me if I ask another dumb question. Like I said I am really not trying to be completely slow on the issue.
So if we plan on more kegs to last the reception, and a wine option, do we have the rest of the bar open so if they want a different type of drink they can pay for it?
I just want to satisfy everyone at my wedding and accommodating to everyone's likes.
I know some people may not like wine, OR beer.
And we both my fiance and I both each have a one whole side that are big drinkers and love to drink heavily at occassions such as these- they start taking shots, and I am not paying for those all night
Nope. Don't offer anything else. Just the beer and wine. You wouldn't invite someone to your house and offer them a shot and tell them they have to pay for it. If they get cranky that you don't have hard liquor, they can get over it. Usually I hate saying that, but you're being a generous host already.
Ok, so more kegs, more wine, got it.
Thanks a ton. I really appreciate it.
Now I get to bring the subject up to my fiance
He will be thrilled!
[QUOTE]Ok, Thanks for you responses, I appreciate them. I am really not trying to be dense about it. I have just been to weddings and after things ran out of what was being served I never thought negatively about paying afterwards. (I am not saying that because I never thought twice about it doesn't make it against etiquette.) So forgive me if I ask another dumb question. Like I said I am really not trying to be completely slow on the issue. So if we plan on more kegs to last the reception, and a wine option, do we have the rest of the bar open so if they want a different type of drink they can pay for it? I just want to satisfy everyone at my wedding and accommodating to everyone's likes. I know some people may not like wine, OR beer. And we both my fiance and I both each have a one whole side that are big drinkers and love to drink heavily at occassions such as these- they start taking shots, and I am not paying for those all night ;) So they may get upset with me if I dont have ANY hard liquor available. Whether they have to pay for it or not.
Posted by DoubleLL1118[/QUOTE]
Another vote for reducing your guest list. 2 or 3 kegs of beer is NOT enough for 300 people. you will probably need 4-5 kegs. You will need many cases of wine. Try an inexpensive wine. there are lots of options, especially when you buy by the case.
You should close the rest of the bar. You should host what you can afford and not offer other options. It's like inviting someone over for dinner and saying "I'm serving chicken, but if you want a steak, leave a $20.00 bill by the front door. it's rude.
You should consider having a signature drink if you are worried that people might not like wine or beer. That can be a mixed drink like vodka/lemonade. Or, a rum punch or something.
So, you could host beer, wine and that one signature drink.
But, no no no to cash bars in any way, shape or form.
Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:
http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/
http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html
http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cash Bar : Another vote for reducing your guest list. 2 or 3 kegs of beer is NOT enough for 300 people. you will probably need 4-5 kegs. You will need many cases of wine. Try an inexpensive wine. there are lots of options, especially when you buy by the case. You should close the rest of the bar. You should host what you can afford and not offer other options. It<strong>'s like inviting someone over for dinner and saying "I'm serving chicken, but if you want a steak, leave a $20.00 bill by the front door. </strong> it's rude. You should consider having a signature drink if you are worried that people might not like wine or beer. That can be a mixed drink like vodka/lemonade. Or, a rum punch or something. <strong>So, you could host beer, wine and that one signature drink.</strong> But, no no no to cash bars in any way, shape or form.
Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]
Re-visit the budget, see if you can trim some other costs (centerpieces? cut some flowers out. favors? nix 'em), and in the back of your mind, hope you several declines?
I will skip the favors. We were only doing homemade caramels wrapped in our pictures anyway- the caramels are AMAZING, but were having a "candy" bar as well anyway. I said that was my treat to myself since I dont like cake, but my fiance wanted the cake. We tried compromising on something else other than cake, so instead we both got what we wanted. (a gf of mine gave me her glassware for it anyway)
Thanks so much!
He will be thrilled the hear the idea of not spending money on the caramel wedding favors to put towards alcohol. I am sure his groomsmen will be pleased as well.
And no, I would NEVER drop my guest list, as they have all received STD's. So cutting my guest list at this point is no option.
[QUOTE]Great Thanks! I will skip the favors. We were only doing homemade caramels wrapped in our pictures anyway- the caramels are AMAZING, but were having a "candy" bar as well anyway. I said that was my treat to myself since I dont like cake, but my fiance wanted the cake. We tried compromising on something else other than cake, so instead we both got what we wanted. (a gf of mine gave me her glassware for it anyway) Thanks so much! He will be thrilled the hear the idea of not spending money on the caramel wedding favors to put towards alcohol. I am sure his groomsmen will be pleased as well. And no, I would NEVER drop my guest list, as they have all received STD's. So cutting my guest list at this point is no option.
Posted by DoubleLL1118[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Well, at least alcohol is something you can deal with once the rsvps come in so hopefully you'll receive a bunch of nos so you can properly host your guests. I'm glad this was helpful! Favors are ALWAYS an easy thing to cut.
</div>
That means at 3 kegs, you only get 360 pints. You will def need more kegs.
You can get approximately 4 glasses out of a standard bottle of wine, so each table (if you figure 8 person tables) will need a minimum of 2 bottles per table.
If you know your crowd and who drinks wine vs. beer vs. who doesn't drink at all, you should be able to adjust the numbers accordingly.
Don't forget to also provide water, soda, coffee & tea.
ETA: Late to the party, that's what I get for trying to do work.
We have chosen to provide four kegs and then have cash bar after that.
Neither me or my fiance will be old enough to legally drink, so I am not going to pay for our huge families to drink themselves silly. If the guests are concerned with money, they can just skip my gift and by themselves drinks at the reception.
I don't think that it is rude, and if someone says so, just remember that it is YOUR day, not theirs.
[QUOTE]I think that it is your wedding, and you need to do what is right for you. We have chosen to provide four kegs and then have cash bar after that. Neither me or my fiance will be old enough to legally drink, so I am not going to pay for our huge families to drink themselves silly. If the guests are concerned with money, they can just skip my gift and by themselves drinks at the reception. I don't think that it is rude, and if someone says so,<strong> just remember that it is YOUR day, not theirs.</strong>
Posted by Malaina9[/QUOTE]
<div>I really hate this phrase because it sounds so entitled. Yes, it is your wedding day, but a large part of that is making sure that your guests are hosted properly. </div>
[QUOTE]I think that it is your wedding, and you need to do what is right for you. We have chosen to provide four kegs and then have cash bar after that. Neither me or my fiance will be old enough to legally drink, so I am not going to pay for our huge families to drink themselves silly. If the guests are concerned with money, <strong>they can just skip my gift and by themselves drinks at the reception.</strong> I don't think that it is rude, and if someone says so, just remember that it is YOUR day, not theirs.
Posted by Malaina9[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Grrr! Posts like this make me stabby. </div><div>
</div><div>You should have free beer all night or no beer at all. Since you're underage, I vote no alcohol at all. The "It's your day" idea is fine when it comes to things like your dress, the centerpieces, the venue, etc. But it stops with the comfort of your guests. You are hosting an event and need to do so properly. Asking guests to pay for anything at a wedding is totally appropriate. I have a bad foot phobia - is it okay for me to tell my guests not to wear sandals because it's "MY DAY"? My fiance doesn't like salad, should we ask our guests who want a salad to pay for it because it's "MY DAY"? I don't like the smell of crap, is it okay for me to tell my guests not to use bathroom because it's "MY DAY"?
</div><div>Oh, and to the bolded - you should put this on an insert in your invites. </div>