Second Weddings

Opinions please.

I just have to get everyone's opinion on this....  Since I didn't have the dream wedding the first go round... in fact my first wedding cost me a total of $100.  Is it wrong of me to want what every girl wants... the big fancy wedding the 2nd time around?  I have read all of the etiquite websites that I can find and they are telling me that there is nothing wrong with it, there are just a few things that should be left our like the blusher veil.  A few of my friends have made comments that I shouldn't be going all out since this is my 2nd marriage and my FI's 3rd marriage.  He tells me to do what ever I want.  My family is supportive of the big wedding.  I was just trying to get some other opinions.  Thanks for the help.

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Re: Opinions please.

  • fireytigerfireytiger member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    There's no reason why you shouldn't have what you want for your second marriage. I was the same way, my first marriage was in a county clerk's office with a JOP, and not at all what I wanted. This time, I'm having a wedding with our most important friends and family there, approximately 50 people expected to show up. It will be a traditional wedding ceremony, with all the pomp and circumstance.

    However, I will mention that not every girl wants a big extravagant wedding, many people have went against that "norm" on this forum, and were more than happy with their decisions. Do what makes you and your FI happy, but just remember that not everyone wants to get married in that way. ;)
  • Avion22Avion22 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Go for it!  There is no reason that your second, and his third, wedding shouldn't be big and fancy.   Yeah, I would nix the veil (well, I AM nixing the veil).  Some women think that second-time brides shouldn't wear white, but I think whether you do or not is up to you.  From this board, it sounds like must of us plan on wearing some kind of white or ivory. 

    I think since most of us are, ahem, more MATURE this time around, we handling the wedding "experience" much better than a lot of the younger brides on other boards.  And personally, I'm much more financially secure this time around as well, so I have a little bit more budet to play with....
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  • edited December 2011
    I think there's not reason your wedding to this man shouldn't be everything you want it to be. 
  • handfast4mehandfast4me member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    There is no reason not to have what you want just because this is your second wedding.  However, beware that many fall into the trap of the big wedding because this is the wedding INDUSTRY and so they're trying to sell.  EVERYTHING.  I think many of us, even us second timers, get so caught up in the wedding planning that we get sucked into what we SHOULD have vs. what we WANT to have. 

    I had no desire to do the big thing--and so it was just the two of us.  What I wanted was something romantic and that was meaningful to us. If that includes a gazillion people, then go for it.  For us, that meant no one else at the legal or religious (we had to have two ceremonies due to the laws in the South) ceremonies. 
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
  • blush64blush64 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I was concerned at first too. I think you need to do whatever you want to do.

    As other PP have said, decide what it is that will make you happy and that will make your day as special as possible and then do it.
  • renjon7798renjon7798 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    DO IT!  This is the 2nd marriage for both myself and my FI and we are going all out.  Not buying into the wedding industry crap though, which is pretty easy to avoid since we are in rural Iowa.  Anyway, I purchased a silvery blue gown.  (Dominique by Maggie Suttero).  It is a very blingy gown, but I wanted it and figured what the hell, and I even purchased a one tier cathedrial length veil to go with it. 

    We are having a full church wedding followed by a reception for about 200 people.  So far, every one has been pretty positive about us choosing to do a big formal wedding.  As for those who aren't, honestly, I probably wouldn't ivite them anyway!
  • Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Have the wedding you want, regardless of how many there have been before. Ignore people who rain on your parade. LIfe it too short.

    Congrats and welcome.
  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Plan and enjoy what's affordable and desirable!  Welcome to the board and congratulations on your engagement.

    ETA:  P.S. Not every "girl" wants the "big fancy wedding," just so you know.

  • edited December 2011
    Thanks everyone for your vote of confidence.  We are doing what we want because it is OUR wedding.  I did choose a very traditional wedding dress in white.  I haven't decided on the veil as of yet.  If I do decide to go with one it will be something simple yet elegant.  We are having our ceremony at one of the local parks that has a meeting hall there that is used for weddings etc and then a full reception with about 200-250 ppl.  And I have to agree with all of you with the WEDDING TRAP!!!!  I have found that if the word wedding is mentioned the price doubles if not triples in price.  I have taken to doing much of the planning myself with the help of my bridesmades and my mother.  I have already started the favors and I am going to do our invitations myself to cut costs.  I have a larger budget because of our more mature status, but I want to see just how under budget I can go without sacrificing what we truely want for our special day. 

    Again Thanks for all of the replies.... congrats on your engagements or recent marriages.  I wish you each the very best.Laughing
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  • AbbeyS2011AbbeyS2011 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Happy Planning!  And Congrats!

    Ignore what your friends say.  When they are in your shoes, they may think differently.  It is your first marriage to your FI, so do whatever you like!

    This is my 2nd and FH's 3rd.  I did not have a fancy wedding for my first one, so this time I am having the church wedding, the white gown with a veil, the nice reception.  Plus, I am marrying an awesome man!
    Anniversary
  • jess0906jess0906 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My first wedding was a JOP wedding and FI's was a traditional church wedding.
    This time, we are going all out.  I have an ivory dress but it's a ballgown with a train and I'm wearing a veil b/c it's what I want.  The only thing not happening like a traditional first wedding is the rehearsal dinner.  I told FI's parents from the get go that since they had done the big rehearsal dinner thing before I didn't want them to feel like they had to do it again this time.  So, we are having a beer and pizza luau in my parents' backyard by the pool and FI and I are paying for it.

    In my opinion, do what you and your FI want to do and don't let other people tell you what should and shouldn't be done b/c it's a second marriage.  

    good luck and happy planning.
  • amy7177amy7177 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I am doing the exact same thing. In fact im trying to do my best at making it a complete opposite of my first wedding. Most importantly all the decisons are mine not my mom's or grammas like the first one. I am planning a semi formal beach wedding and its going to be so nice. I am having the fancy dress and all. It may be my second but his first so its going to great. Go for it...a wedding is a happy celebration. So make it that. You will not regret it.
    Married on July 29, 2011
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