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Wedding Etiquette Forum
BM breakdown?
So, I thought all my questions and worries were over, considering i get married THIS WEEK. What was I thinking? FI and I arrived in town yesterday for our wedding and hedaed to a late lunch with my family. My sister/BM is going throguh a really bad divorce - she missed my shower and bach. party a few months ago because the separation had just happened and she was really down - I understood that and made no issue of it whatsoever.
Yesterday, she came out to meet us for lunch and ended up in tears at the table and walking out. She told me that she just was reminded with all the family together that her ex was no longer there and it was really over. She called again today in tears but didnt want company or to come out of the house with us.
Part of me wants to say geez suck it up, and the other part of me wants to be compassionate b/c I know this isn't easy. Thing is, this week is going t be INSANE and really don't have it in me to "be there" how I should. I am also worried that she might breakdown or be in tears at the wedding.
Should I be worried? Should I say or do anything? Maybe I am just super stressed with things to do and worried about this...IDK
Yesterday, she came out to meet us for lunch and ended up in tears at the table and walking out. She told me that she just was reminded with all the family together that her ex was no longer there and it was really over. She called again today in tears but didnt want company or to come out of the house with us.
Part of me wants to say geez suck it up, and the other part of me wants to be compassionate b/c I know this isn't easy. Thing is, this week is going t be INSANE and really don't have it in me to "be there" how I should. I am also worried that she might breakdown or be in tears at the wedding.
Should I be worried? Should I say or do anything? Maybe I am just super stressed with things to do and worried about this...IDK
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Re: BM breakdown?
Wedding stuff.
[QUOTE]Um, I'm going to guess she's going to have a breakdown during your ceremony. You might want to talk to her about how hard this is going to be for her, and ask if she's sure she doesn't want to do something different for the wedding.
Posted by Snippylynn[/QUOTE]
This..
Is there any way she could help you with the things you have to finish up so that will maybe take her mind off of things. What about a day at the spa for just the two of you to help her de-stress and brighten her spirits up for your wedding?
If all else fails, I would just tell her nicely that you really have to get things done for your wedding and while you feel for her and want her to be a part of your day, you have to move on. I am not saying kick her out as a BM, but that you don't have time to sit around and be sad with her even though you feel for her, kwim?
this isn't the first celebratory event where the focus shifted to her, so i think that's where the suck it up came from.
I guess I don't know what I'd do. It's a difficult situation. I'm sorry that you're both going through it.
Infertile, living childfree, advocating like a BOSS
I agree that you might want to have a sit down with her and just let her know that you understand how hard it might be for her to participate in a wedding while she's going through a divorce and just let a conversation evolve from there. She'll probably still want to be there for you and I'm sure (well, I'm hopeful) that she won't get overemotional on your wedding day or will excuse herself if she does.