XP:Change the date

G2SoccerTaz · January 2012

I agree with the PP do NOT change the date. Have the fbil talk to his professor. As a professor, I would let students skip for traveling to a siblings wedding. He just does not seem to want to talk to them. I have friends flying from all over the US some with no PTO but they would not miss it for the world. Its not like she needs more than a day or two off.

I would put my feet down and say NO.

ncd5015 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_xpchange-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:edfc645b-94a7-4b0f-b1db-b22f371bc2e7Post:a676d223-be58-4c49-9ddf-5c5ed216210b">Re: XP:Change the date</a>:
[QUOTE]Okay...I just saw that you posted the reasons as I was typing up my other post. Those reasons are CRAP! And how the heck is his family so important that you change your entire wedding date for them, but they haven't seen each other in 3 years?! I'm honestly not judging their relationship, but none of those reasons are good enough. You're allowed to miss at least 2 classes at the very least and I'm pretty sure your own brother's wedding is important enough to not get paid for a day of work. Why would she be able to take a day off a few weeks before or after your current date, but not that one day (or half day). I'm sorry your FI is being crazy about this. I would not back down and do not give in just because he's mad at you. He has no right to be mad...YOU have all the right in the world to be mad. Seriously, I wouldn't change the wedding. Not for 2 people that were given over a year in notice.
Posted by kelsey+brandon[/QUOTE]

All of this. I would be so pissed!

AlliJae · January 2012

I agree with all PP. Especially Kelsey. She said it well!!
Good luck. I will be thinking about you. In the end it will all work out (AKA you wedding will be in June

)

gregamywedding · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_xpchange-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:edfc645b-94a7-4b0f-b1db-b22f371bc2e7Post:a676d223-be58-4c49-9ddf-5c5ed216210b">Re: XP:Change the date</a>:
[QUOTE]Okay...I just saw that you posted the reasons as I was typing up my other post. Those reasons are CRAP! And how the heck is his family so important that you change your entire wedding date for them, but they haven't seen each other in 3 years?! I'm honestly not judging their relationship, but none of those reasons are good enough. You're allowed to miss at least 2 classes at the very least and I'm pretty sure your own brother's wedding is important enough to not get paid for a day of work. Why would she be able to take a day off a few weeks before or after your current date, but not that one day (or half day). I'm sorry your FI is being crazy about this. I would not back down and do not give in just because he's mad at you. He has no right to be mad...YOU have all the right in the world to be mad. Seriously, I wouldn't change the wedding. Not for 2 people that were given over a year in notice.
Posted by kelsey+brandon[/QUOTE]

I agree 100% with this. I would be so irately mad at FI if he agreed to change anything about our wedding especially the date without talking to me first.

Ash61612 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_xpchange-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:edfc645b-94a7-4b0f-b1db-b22f371bc2e7Post:e537356c-5a76-4a2f-9250-e1b5594aca90">Re: XP:Change the date</a>:
[QUOTE]Why can't his family come? Which family members, immediate? Honestly, I think this is pretty shitty. Weddings are planned way far in advance.
Posted by Megbo2012[/QUOTE]
agree!!<div>
</div><div>you have every right to be upset!! You talked to them before you picked the date and they should have been mature and adult enough to remember what they had going on.</div>

DrPB2b13 · January 2012

100% agree with PP's. Unless your FI hasn't been in contact with his family at all, they should have known the date for ages - and if he hasn't been in contact, how are they important enough to force a change in date?

If you don't want to totally ruin the relationship (though this will still strain it) here are some explanations/excuses for why it's impossible to move your wedding date:

Have you already sent out STDs? It's too late. The rest of your guests have already spent money on travel plans.

You've signed your vendor contracts? They can't be moved, it'll cost $NNN in change fees. Or lost deposits, or reprinting, or...they don't need to know your contracts, that's none of their business.

You've got grandparents? One of them might not make it to August...oh, why? Because it's too hot for them to travel and sit for a wedding! Duh!

It's too hot in OK in August! Don't believe me? Official average temperature info: http://www.srh.noaa.gov/oun/?n=summertimetemp_facts_okc (just change it to your city or the one closest to you!)

I'll be honest, I am all for compromise, and when I started reading your post I thought "that's too bad, it's so much work to change!" but I agree with Kelsey - their reasons for demanding a change are 100% CRAP! This is a wedding, not a trip to an amusement park, not a day at the zoo, not a family vacation. It's only a couple of days out of their lives. Admittedly, I do feel for their concerns; I did take college courses in the off-seasons to save myself thousands of dollars for a full semester, and not all jobs are as accepting of taking time off. However, these are things they knew about ahead of time - especially his sister, how will she not have PTO by June?

Sigh. I am sorry you have to go through this; it's total BS. Good luck with everything, we're here for you!

sleblanc72 · January 2012

DrPB that is an awesome list of reasons that you can't change it!

DrPB2b13 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_xpchange-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:edfc645b-94a7-4b0f-b1db-b22f371bc2e7Post:1b659051-d9a6-4c65-a3a0-f9fac83769fb">Re: XP:Change the date</a>:
[QUOTE]DrPB that is an awesome list of reasons that you can't change it!
Posted by sleblanc72[/QUOTE]

Thanks!

I also wanted to add - even if they DID have absolutely legitimate reasons for you to have to change your date at this point, and even if the circumstances were such that you really should, you would still have an absolute right to be upset about it. You've put a lot of hard work, time, thought, and money into making everything happen for the date you've already picked, and regardless of legitimacy of the reason to change your wedding date, being upset about it is normal and understandable.

chelseakopperud · January 2012

DrPB I love your list of reasons why she cant move it. I seriously cant get over how rude this is!!!!!!

Sarah0335 · January 2012

That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.

The way I look at it is, if I am not important enough for you to miss one day of work or school, then you are not important enough for me to change my date over.

It might sound insensitive, but those are the worst reasons ever. How could you not have PTO with that much otice. Usually you accumulate over a day/month. With 5 months to go she should have over 5 days. Clearly she plans on using it towards other things.

gregamywedding · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_xpchange-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:edfc645b-94a7-4b0f-b1db-b22f371bc2e7Post:6dfdcdf5-fef5-438d-bd19-a1e71df15354">Re: XP:Change the date</a>:
[QUOTE]That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. <strong>The way I look at it is, if I am not important enough for you to miss one day of work or school, then you are not important enough for me to change my date over.</strong> It might sound insensitive, but those are the worst reasons ever. How could you not have PTO with that much otice. Usually you accumulate over a day/month. With 5 months to go she should have over 5 days. Clearly she plans on using it towards other things.
Posted by Sarah0335[/QUOTE]

Agree!

diamondx423 · January 2012

Wow, this whole situation is insane... sorry this is happening, I'd go on a serious tirade if I were you.

kelsey+brandon · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_xpchange-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:edfc645b-94a7-4b0f-b1db-b22f371bc2e7Post:6dfdcdf5-fef5-438d-bd19-a1e71df15354">Re: XP:Change the date</a>:
[QUOTE]That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. <strong> The way I look at it is, if I am not important enough for you to miss one day of work or school, then you are not important enough for me to change my date over.</strong> It might sound insensitive, but those are the worst reasons ever. How could you not have PTO with that much otice. Usually you accumulate over a day/month. With 5 months to go she should have over 5 days. Clearly she plans on using it towards other things.
Posted by Sarah0335[/QUOTE]

<div>I agree with all of this too!! Especially the bolded.</div>

julianahenao881 · January 2012

omg thats crazy......:/ I agree is time for your bridezilla to kick in lol . GL deff let us know what u decide to do about ur date

Danidawn20 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_xpchange-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:edfc645b-94a7-4b0f-b1db-b22f371bc2e7Post:3f4f568b-8321-45fa-a8f3-c2f203d4956a">Re: XP:Change the date</a>:
[QUOTE]DrPB I love your list of reasons why she cant move it. I seriously cant get over how rude this is!!!!!!
Posted by chelseakopperud[/QUOTE]

I concure!

MMRoberts11 · January 2012

I also agree with everyone so far. I would NOT change the date and let them know all the reasons DrPB said. I completely agree with her that it's just not a schedule day trip somewhere, it is a very important day that is costing a lot of money and will cost even more to change.
If his family can't appreciate the importance of the day maybe they need to reevaluate their priorities. It's their son getting married, they should be telling everyone the date even if they have not seen each other in a while.

acaponi87 · January 2012

I'm like shaking I am so mad for you.

WOW.

Ditto the ROAR. Go get 'em!

doeie04 · January 2012

I would calculate all the money lost for this change, and list it all out, then tell them you are willing to change the date if they pay for your loss. And have the money before you do it.

I would be pisssed at your FI and explain to him why it upsets you, including the list that Dr.PB made for you. FI needs to discuss things with you first and he wouldn't look like an idiot. :P

XP:Change the date

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