Bridesmaid dress drama brewing

melsey62 · October 2010

Hi all-

I would love to get the opinions of the two bridesmaid dresses. I originally thought of the one shoulder (Bari Jay) as the dress for my bridesmaid however the Jordan one with the detacheable train seems a little sassier and more practical. I have received at least 6 emails and 3 phone calls about the two dresses. I cannot believe the fury that has occured. The dress with the detacheable train will be in black and not brown as shown. Please vote and also share opinions. Would love to share your feedback with my fussy bridesmaids.

tldh · October 2010

How honest of opinions do you want? If you don't want people to tell you the unvarnished truth, you may want to stop ready my answer now.

Ditto Stage. I'll add that if I were one of your BMs, I'd probably be throwing a hissy fit also if forced to choose between these two dresses - and I am in shape. To me, the top one looks like a beauty pagent dress and the brown one looks like something Snooki from Jersey Shore would wear.

ootmother2 · October 2010

I prefer the black one and it could be cut down, without the train, to wear again.

Not big on the brown one though

Moneypenny424 · October 2010

I'm sorry, I think that brown dress is hideous. I like asymmetrical hemlines, on dresses and think those can be sassy, but this just looks kind of tacky IMO. I like the black one more, but I agree that it is a little pageanty.

The most important thing is for your BMs to be comfortable, so I would probably consult them in making the choice.

mbcdefg · October 2010

That brown dress looks absolutely ridiculous.

The black one looks classier, but maybe certain figures can't pull it off. They ought to try on any dress you are considering, before you make the decision that that's the one.

Your bridesmaids have to buy and wear the dress. They have the right to be comfortable in it. They're not being "fussy" ... do you really want them wearing your dream dress, but looking like unhappy stuffed sausages in every photo?

If they are really against one dress, you should reconsider it, despite your vision.

If they don't really like either dress, look for something else.

LizHZ · October 2010

In my opinion the brown one looks weird and, um, quite ugly.

The black one is the nicer of the two, but I'd keep looking... is there any way for you to go shopping with two bridesmaids with opposite body types, so you can see how the styles would look on everyone? David's Bridal has a large variety of sizes in-store.

kara811 · October 2010

I like the black one better, the brown one is just not doing it for me at all. But personally, I won't wear even the black dress. I get that it is your wedding, but you wouldn't want unhappy BMs for your wedding either. Why not just tell them the choice of color you want for the dresses and they can choose the style they pleases? Ultimately, they need to be comfortable in what they are wearing. It's them wearing it, not you. Just trust your friends to make the decisions for themselves. You wouldn't want this matter to put even a little damper on your friendships, would you?

kimp67 · October 2010

I personally wouldn't want to wear either one....sorry! Why don't you pick the length & color & let your girls pick the style. That way they'll each be in something they like/look good in.

melsey62 · October 2010

It was one of my bridesmaid who picked the black one. I actually had something very simple selected with a sweetheart neckline. 3 of the bms who are in great shape actually looked good in the black. The other 2 bms who are in Chgo have not tried on the dress yet and like me they are curvy and I am concerned. I hate for anyone to get stuck with something they will never wear again. Hence why I choose black. I will keep looking. Time is on my side even if some of you are not but thanks for responding. Pretty much how my Sunday was when I sent the brown dress out. Glad i do yoga. Very calming in these stressful times.

bellebride116 · October 2010

I would wear either... but then again, I would wear whatever the bride chose...whether I'm a fan of it or not. I'm not a fan of the train on the second dress, but it's different and can be detached, so that's cool. I'm also not a huge fan of one shoulder dresses, but if that's what the bride wanted I would just wear it.

kayakrunhike · October 2010

Truthfully? The detachable train is awful. Out of the two, I'd go with the one shoulder, if I had to. Your other BMs should try on the dress and see how they feel about it, then go from there.

[Deleted User] · October 2010

I don't like the brown dress nor the train thing. I don't think BM's dresses should have trains. I do like the black one, but why not just let your girls choose which dress they want to wear? Give the designer and the fabric and let them choose the cut/style. I totally agree that neither of those dresses could accomodate a plus size girl. And the last thing you want on your wedding day is grumpy, grouchy BM's bc their dresses are uncomfortable on them. There are tons and tons of options out there, I would suggest broadening your horizons a bit.

marissa_claire · October 2010

If you're not dead set, I would start from scratch and just completely look at bridesmaid dresses again. Narrow it down to 3-5 dresses and have them decide what will work best. That gives them a lot of choices and you still have a lot of say. You're overwhelmingly getting a response here that both those choices are just "okay" so you might want to start over and find something your BMs can love.

smore154 · October 2010

I actually love the black dress- I'd pick that one if I was one of your BM's. I also think it would flatter curvy girls- and it's one shoulder, so it has the option to wear a strapless bra with one strap. The brown one is a little odd, and then it gets boring when you take that train off.

And just to throw in that these are you BM's- it's nice that you are giving them an opinion, and that they are voicing it- but in the end, you pick out what they are wearing and try to do the best you can to accomodate them all. They shouldn't be running the show. I think we've all been in weddings where we had to wear something we hated- so don't sweat too much over this!

[Deleted User] · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_bridesmaid-dress-drama-brewing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:fc0dfe09-4556-46b6-8035-bfce453d3a02Post:97952d17-eca3-4f04-a58d-b8a71dc368fb">Re: Bridesmaid dress drama brewing</a>:
[QUOTE]I actually love the black dress- I'd pick that one if I was one of your BM's. I also think it would flatter curvy girls- and it's one shoulder, so it has the option to wear a strapless bra with one strap. The brown one is a little odd, and then it gets boring when you take that train off. And just to throw in that these are you BM's- it's nice that you are giving them an opinion, and that they are voicing it- but in the end, you pick out what they are wearing and try to do the best you can to accomodate them all. They shouldn't be running the show. I think we've all been in weddings where we had to wear something we hated- so don't sweat too much over this!
Posted by smore154[/QUOTE]

I disagree with this. You want your BM's to be comfortable and feel beautiful on your wedding day or it is going to show in pictures, their attitudes, etc. They are human beings, not your slaves to tell them to wear what you want them to wear without any regard for their comfort.

future-mrs · October 2010

Honestly, I dislike both of them, especially for curvier girls (like myself) Why not pick a color/length and let each of your girls choose their own dress? This way they are all happy and comfortable.

SaraAndrew2010 · October 2010

I find both dresses rather odd. I agree that they would not flatter most figures. As a BM I wouldn't be too happy about having to pay ~$200 for either of these. Have you tried going shopping with your BMs and seeing what dresses they like? Honestly, a good black dress shouldn't be that hard to find.

forrma7 · October 2010

i'm not sure that you should really go for "sassy" when looking at BM dresses.

and there is nothing practical about a detachable train....i think you should eliminate all elements of sass and detachable from your wedding asap

jeanna85 · October 2010

The first dress is similiar to a dress I wore in a wedding last week, except it was purple so it didnt look so severe. The brown is awful and extremely fitted. Unless all of your BMs are very slim, it's not going to be flattering. I also think the detachable train is ridiculous. If you're BMs don't feel comfortable with them, why don't you ask them to go shopping with you or browse online and give some suggestions? If they're not happy, they're going to be in a bad mood all day, it will show in pictures, and worst of all, you'll be upsetting your friends.

aerinpegadrak · October 2010

Not a fan of either one. I think you'd be saving yourself a world of trouble if you just told them to get any floor-length black dress. Don't treat your friends like Barbie dolls, work with them to find something that they're comfortable in. Regardless of title, they're your friends, and ideally you want them to still be speaking to you after the wedding. Not gonna lie, if I got squeezed into that brown thing, I wouldn't be keen to return phone calls.

eshaufle · October 2010

I don't mind the black one but I absolutely hate the brown one. The brown one I don't think would look good on many body types. The black one might look good on different body types depending on the material.

What exactly is causing the "fury" from your bridesmaids? I think that if my bridesmaids had a furious reaction to a dress then I might second guess my choice. I'm not saying that everyone will be 100% happy with the dress but "fury" is a very strong word for a reaction to a dress. There must be something very wrong with the choices then.

dizzinea · October 2010

ok I see couger dress in the second one, somehow it does have that desperate housewives vibe. could you maybe find a dress similar to the one shoulder but with a more a line skirt? that would be more forgiving to all body types, both dresses would need to have very thin ladies to pull them off well.

loop0406 · October 2010

I think the black one is more elegant and I'd wear it again

melsey62 · October 2010

Robo-clone BM's...very funny. I like that one. I may just pick out 3 black dresses (definitely not the brown one) and say ladies, here are your options the choice is yours. You are right, really don't want robo looking brides. I want each one to radiate! I do have some great looking friends. The last thing I want to do is put them in dresses that do not flatter them!

reese511 · October 2010

if you're looking for a one-shoulder strap dress, i wore this one from DB in my friend's wedding.
http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_One-Shoulder-Long-Jersey-Dress-with-Cascade-Back-F13185_Bridal-Party-Features-Most-Popular-Bridesmaids

it was REALLY comfortable. but honestly - i think it would look AWESOME if they all wore a different black dress of their choice. IMO - matchy matchy bridesmaids is so 80's, 90's. over it!

melsey62 · October 2010

Thanks! Funny I did look at that one a while ago. I just wrote to everyone and told them about the opinions I was getting here. I did not go into detail like the messages but I did tell them the brown is out. I even mentioned the Snooki comment someone else maid. I did tell them to start look for dresses that flatter them but I said I still want the color to be black. I am curious to see what they come back with.

melsey62 · October 2010

Hi Stagemanager,

I knw you completely hate the brown dress, but if want a closer picture, here is the link to the Jordan site. If you thought the brown was bad, they have more!
http://www.jordanfashions.com/ShowDressDetail.aspx?collectionid=3&dressid=1171&photoid=26553

I think I went here because of an episode I was on My Fair Wedding with David Tutera. I could not find the dress from the collection he selected but I believe the manufacturer was Jordan.

Take care,

Melanie

aerinpegadrak · October 2010

Why not just tell them each to choose their own black dress? Surely that would be easier than trying to figure out one dress that makes them all happy.

melsey62 · October 2010

That is now the plan. However a couple of them said just for me to pick it and call it a day!

smore154 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_bridesmaid-dress-drama-brewing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:fc0dfe09-4556-46b6-8035-bfce453d3a02Post:f3e5eab4-f17e-4ddd-8116-719a97349899">Re: Bridesmaid dress drama brewing</a>:
[QUOTE]Why not just tell them each to choose their own black dress? Surely that would be easier than trying to figure out one dress that makes them all happy.
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

This is so hard- I originally wanted to do this for my BM's and I went with one of them to a bunch of dept stores to try and help her- and we realized how overwhelming it was for her to just pick a black dress- there are so many! If you do go this route, it's probably easier to just pick out a few you like, and let them pick from that group.

deb84 · October 2010

If you want them to have a dress they can wear again why not pick a line (designer), a length, a fabric, a color and let them each choose their own style. That way they are happy, comfortable and are much more likely to wear it again. Choices are always good when they are paying for and wearing something.

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