Wedding Woes

I'm not a violent person, but I'm about to be...

So, my wedding is in 95 days. The owner of the Inn where I have already paid the deposit to have my ceremony and reception seems to have a real problem getting back to me. When I have asked him for a breakdown of everything and the costs of the buffet, cake and the pie station, told him no open bar which was to his disatisfaction because he won't get that extra $$$ has not given me anything for the final price! Yet he wants his half down now. Said he sent me the email but he will send it again and maybe I should just send him a test email to make sure I'm recieving his emails.  Does this guy think I am a fool or what? I'm not violent but I am about to go break some knee caps and if he thinks he's going to get some blind half down payment he's out of his freaking mind. My biggest fear now is if this falls through, it's too close to the date to find another venue and my guests have already purchased plane tickets to NY :(

Re: I'm not a violent person, but I'm about to be...

  • TheDuckisTheDuckis member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    So send him a test email. This is not that difficult.

    Also, he gets paid for drinks whether the bar is open or cash. He probably just wasn't happy with your decision because it made him realize you're a tacky b!tch.
  • MNNEBrideMNNEBride member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    I wouldn't send any more money until I got a contract with an itemized list of what was being charged.
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  • SilvrgreenSilvrgreen member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Actually he doesn't provide a cash bar, just an open bar for $3K for 50 people. And I did send the email which as usual did not respond to.

  • SilvrgreenSilvrgreen member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Trust me, he's not getting anymore money... 
  • Butter CookieButter Cookie member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_im-not-violent-person-but-im?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:2436e6da-f22a-41fc-905a-30f4b17486c3Post:44a86696-0302-42bc-8f08-99efbe9d9be7">I'm not a violent person, but I'm about to be...</a>:
    [QUOTE]So, my wedding is in 95 days. The owner of the Inn where I have already paid the deposit to have my ceremony and reception seems to have a real problem getting back to me. When I have asked him for a breakdown of everything and the costs of the buffet, cake and the pie station, told him no open bar which was to his disatisfaction because he won't get that extra $$$ has not given me anything for the final price! Yet he wants his half down now. Said he sent me the email but he will send it again and maybe I should just send him a test email to make sure I'm recieving his emails.  Does this guy think I am a fool or what? I'm not violent but I am about to go break some knee caps and if he thinks he's going to get some blind half down payment he's out of his freaking mind. My biggest fear now is if this falls through, it's too close to the date to find another venue and my guests have already purchased plane tickets to NY :(
    Posted by Silvrgreen[/QUOTE]


    He's asking for a test email, not a quart of blood, your first born, and the promise if your virginity.

    I mean, don't give him money until you're comfortable with what you're paying for (and have a written contract in place) but send the email.
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  • SilvrgreenSilvrgreen member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I've already sent tests emails, now he won't return calls. The basics were outlined in the contract for the meal and the property/ceremony/reception and property fee and room fees, not the cake, the bar or the dessert stations.
  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    You sound like you have some serious anger issues.

    If I may, it sounds like he wants a deposit of 50% of the final total, but has not provided the total yet.  Your problem, then, is to explain that you would be delighted to pay the deposit as soon as he tells you what that amount is.  Via a contract.  That you both sign.  And if he doesn't, then you have to move on, because someone who won't provide a contract or even tell you how much money he wants is unlikely to deliver the services you require.

    You don't threaten to kneecap people over business problems.  The Sopranos has been over for years now.
  • *Barbie**Barbie* member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_im-not-violent-person-but-im?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:2436e6da-f22a-41fc-905a-30f4b17486c3Post:d013bbac-ade4-4fc9-896f-d6ce9170787f">Re: I'm not a violent person, but I'm about to be...</a>:
    [QUOTE]what did you put a deposit down for if he didn't give you a final price per person? if you put a deposit for the space without putting a price in the contract in writing, doesn't that mean he can come back with any price he wants to give you? make an appointment and go in person.
    Posted by Wifezzilla[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>the venue that we used couldn't give us a final price/person until a week or so before the wedding when we finalized the count. Some of the items on our menu (especially seafood) were market price, so we couldn't factor that in 3 months out. However, the guy should be able to give a reasonable estimate or a package price at this point. </div><div>
    </div><div>i suggest that you try calling and setting up an in-person meeting to finalize or narrow down the contract. It was pretty dumb to put down a deposit without having some sort of written agreement in place. </div><div>
    </div><div>$3K for an open bar for 50 people is pretty high ($60/head - that's 5-10 drinks/person at bar prices) but that might be a normal price for NY. 

    </div>
  • SilvrgreenSilvrgreen member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    No it's just the basics, I know the final price won't be until the wedding reception itself. I am stationed in Colorado so I've flown out a few times to see my fiancee and drive 2 hours out to the Inn, the first time he cancelled on us, the second time he kept us waiting for 20 minutes while he was on a phone call. So, no this doesn't call for a busted knee cap, but when I take leave and pay for flights he can be a little more considerate and in the mean time not hassle me over money when he can't reciprocate common courtesy of sending me the itemized list of the items. I read the reviews before I settled on this Inn and Restaurant but now I'm finding this to be a more difficult and stressful situation when I was trying to keep it easy and stress free. We did have the contract first before we put down the deposit. It's just tying up the loose ends he seems to be struggling with and giving us the final estimate.
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