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need advice!!

I have been engaged since December 24th of 2008. My parents request was that we wait until I graduate college to get married. I am graduating in May of 2012, so we plan on getting married in July of that year. Now they are saying I should wait until I have a job to get married. My FI will have one year left of school when we get married. Being a teacher,  I won't get hired until about August. My mom said once I get a job we can plan the wedding in 3 months. I dont think this is doable. What do others think?

Re: need advice!!

  • I had a friend get proposed to, and plan the entire wedding in 3 weeks. (Her Hubby was being shipped to Egypt) It was beautiful, elegant, and intimate.

    It was also small, and even being so small, pretty expensive to get everything done last minute.

    There are pros and cons, and your family is just trying to look out for you by having you wait. But if my friend did it in 3 weeks, (and I promise it was beautiful) I'm sure 3 months will be fine.
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  • Thanks! The only problem  I am seeing is we will have a minimum of 200 people being invited. (We have big families).
  • For me personally, that would be very stressful to plan a wedding in 3 months! Especially as I am a future teacher also and I'm definitely getting married before I start my official job because  I want to focus on one thing at a time, Such, as making the wedding special and loving the planning for it and then starting the school year with out stress and leaving lots of open time for lesson planning and getting used the "real world" :)
  • when can you afford a wedding? that is when I would plan on it.

    If you pay you get the say as to when to have it, if they pay they get the say.

    I think 3 months makes for stressful wedding planning, and you will hopefully have a new job then.  Plus how easily can you take off from this job for vendor meetings, the actual wedding and the HM if you take it right away?

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  • If you've already been engaged for ~2.5 years, can you just set a date? Just decide on a date for Nov/Dec 2012 (or whenever you want it)? Then you could plan all the way along without having to start from scratch when you get your job.

    If getting married means moving in together your living expenses will be much less, and if you're already living together then there's no real logical reason to say you should wait until you have a job...

    My mom is also big on the idea of being out of school and working before getting married, simply because relationships change drastically when you leave the little college bubble. But you'll probably be a LOT more comfortable if you take more like 7-8 months to plan.
  • I don't know about your area, but it's hard to get a job as a teacher where I am. So many have gotten pink slips/laid off and are waiting to get a position. I have 4 friends who recently got their credential and are unemployed right now. I hope you can get something! I would just set the date now and plan for the wedding. I agree with waiting until after graduation for marriage, as I am doing that myself, but not so sure about the career part. My fiance is already in his career and graduates this fall, so with his income plus my income from the job I have, we'd make it just fine. Then I can get into my career later, after we're married.  I'm sure you could do the same.
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  • Sounds like you need to stop listening to your mom and do what you want to do.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_need-advice-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:684Discussion:0eedb911-5de1-40df-8b0c-51b1be650ab2Post:0679de5e-774b-4e5b-862b-69aeeed42ab6">Re: need advice!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>Sounds like you need to stop listening to your mom and do what you want to do.
    </strong>Posted by mrandmrsbrist[/QUOTE]

    Plan the wedding you and FI can afford, when you and FI can afford it and cut the cord.

    If you want your 200+ wedding, you may very well have to wait until you get a job... if you want a small wedding, walk into the courthouse tomorrow... keep in mind that MANY large venues book over a year in advance (booked mine for 199 invited 18 months out)
  • Thanks for all the great advice. I am just going to start planning and tell my parents that if they want to help then great and then if they dont its their loss.
  • I understand that sometimes its hard to hear opinions from your family and especially your mother, but you have to understand a relationship is between three people ( you, your mate, and god). No one else! Take inconsideration what your moms says but its you and your fiance decision and opinions that really count. You alreasy granted her wish, now she has another, what if you grant this one too, then she has another after that? Planning a wedding is stressful, you can do it in 3 months but really that pushing it.

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