BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette

Button5807 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:9145399a-14b2-470c-9a75-3f456ea1367e">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE] You guys are just basing it off of what you read.
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

How else were they supposed to do it?

RachNRich · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:9145399a-14b2-470c-9a75-3f456ea1367e">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]Hey, they know me and hang out with me and know me enough to know that I am not a brat. <strong>You guys are just basing it off of what you read. You can't judge someone and not even know them.</strong> When my MOH told me about the conversation of course you don't know the conversation. She was saying that the BM was being rude and flat out saying NO I Am not paying for them and their drinks. When no one even said anything about drinks. just dinner. But the point is, we didn't go back and say rude things to her when she was rude to us. We let it slide and said it's not worth it. All the other bridesmaids and groomsmen are happy and willing and that is all that matters. That one girl, oh well. Theres one in every bunch
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

<div>Then <strong>WHY</strong> in the <strong>WORLD</strong> would you come to a public messaging board---knowing full well that we don't know you, and expect us to respond the way your close friends and coworkers would? As I said, people here can only respond based on the information you gave---and you laid this story out like a sometime pooped in your cornflakes. </div><div>
</div><div>SEVEN BUCKS IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD (yet you managed to make it sound like it was. Golf claps for you).</div>

gottahavashorti · April 2010

Let's have a little review session. Sound good? Because I'm not sure what you think you're typing but it's definitely different from what the rest of us are reading. I think you need to take a step back and look at how you're presenting yourself, because right now, you're presenting yourself like a selfish bridezilla.

[QUOTE]She also made other comments about not wanting to pay for any of our drinks. Just dinner. And she is just being really stingy[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]She's been a BM before and should know how things work and what's expected[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]A BM is supposed to do what she is asked and if not, then she should have never said yes to be a BM.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]She should have known what she was signed up for. ... She is just telling the MOH no bc she thinks she can get away with it.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]Everyone tells me that the bridesmaids are responsible for the bachelorette. The bride and groom are spending enough on the wedding.. we can't do it all and pay for the bachelorette too[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]... it's the cue for the BM to do something nice for the bride and she doesn't want to. [/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]Yes a bachelor/bachelorette party is a given. When did it become now that the bride and groom have to do everything themselves.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]When I first asked them to be bridesmaids they all asked what was expected and what they should do and all were told about the Bachelorette so therefore it was a requirement [/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]And I apparently do deserve a bachelorette if my sister and sister in law and other friend are all in it and chipping in and apparently they think I deserve it [/QUOTE]

[QUOTE]You can't call me a brat or spoiled person when in the eyes of my bridesmaids I am nothing of the sort.[/QUOTE]

shellydiane820 · April 2010

all i can say about this is...

holy fuuuuuuck, is this for real?

healyl99 · April 2010

How is throwing a party? We are all going out as a group like we always do. out to dinner. Except this time the MOH thought it was a nice gesture if everyone chip in for their meal. So if 8 people chip in, it would only be like $6 or $7 extra a person. But that's not the point. The point is the MOH is in control in planning the Bachellorette. So she thought it would be a nice gesture if they all chipped in. The BM had every right to say no. But she could have been a little nicer about it. She could have expressed how much she wish she could, or sorry I cannot or won't be able to. But she simply said No, I am not paying for their diner and drinks. My MOH took the initative and kindess to want to get everyone togther for a night out. No one forced her to do it. My MOH willingly planned it and just was asking if the others could chip in for us

MyNameIsNot · April 2010

You suck.

That's all I've got.

shellydiane820 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:dbf378be-1f77-4991-8679-2c82b1679aeb">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]Let's have a little review session. Sound good? Because I'm not sure what you think you're typing but it's definitely different from what the rest of us are reading. I think you need to take a step back and look at how you're presenting yourself, because right now, you're presenting yourself like a selfish bridezilla.
Posted by gottahavashorti[/QUOTE]
you're awesome.

..and your cat is cute too, he looks like my Ming the Merciless!

healyl99 · April 2010

My panties aren't up in a bunch over $7.00. It's the way she handled herself when talking to my MOH

shellydiane820 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:256debfb-ca6f-4bc5-83ed-f27a7620e55f">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]How is throwing a party? We are all going out as a group like we always do. out to dinner. Except this time the MOH thought it was a nice gesture if everyone chip in for their meal. So if 8 people chip in, it would only be like $6 or $7 extra a person. But that's not the point. The point is the MOH is in control in planning the Bachellorette. So she thought it would be a nice gesture if they all chipped in. The BM had every right to say no. But she could have been a little nicer about it. She could have expressed how much she wish she could, or sorry I cannot or won't be able to. But she simply said No, I am not paying for their diner and drinks. My MOH took the initative and kindess to want to get everyone togther for a night out. No one forced her to do it. My MOH willingly planned it and just was asking if the others could chip in for us
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

How is saying "no" rude? Your MOH asked, and your BM responded with "no."

Now, if she said "not a chance sucka!" That would be rude, but by answering the question, that is in no way rude. Just because she didn't answer in a way you didn't want, it doesn't make her rude.

stina93446 · April 2010

Wow, I love how Gotta quoted all your best knottie moments.

brookelynpaisley · April 2010

Yikes. You've got this all wrong, girly (if you're evn real, which I'm doubting). The honor in being asked to be a bridesmaid is not with the bridesmaid, it's with the bride. These girls are taking time and money from their lives to go dress shopping (I'm assuming you planned a mandatory outting for that), buy dresses and shoes and jewelry (because sorry, but jewelry you give them to wear to match for your wedding is a gift for YOU), potentially time off work, hotel rooms, rental cars, whatever. They're doing a lot for you that you don't see or realize and you're incredibly ungrateful.

Who cares that she doesn't want to pay for you? Whatever. Get over it. That's for the guests of the party - the lowly guests, not you, oh holy guest of honor - to work out amongst themselves. You really shouldn't be worrying your pretty little head about any of this.

And just because this friend has money doesn't mean she has to spend it on you. Bridesmaids aren't obligated to do anything but show up and smile, as other girls have said. They don't have jobs, or duties, they don't owe you anything. These girls are supposed to be your friends, and those closest to you. I imagine you'll be a very lonely woman by the time your wedding is over if you continue to think of your friends this way.

I sincerely hope you're not real. Although I know that people as selfish and petty as you exist, I'd like to think you're just having some fun on Troll Friday.

healyl99 · April 2010

She's the one who is petty when she can't even fork over $7

btrflykate1230 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:579a51dd-a923-4c83-8c0a-d839d4070965">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]My panties aren't up in a bunch over $7.00. It's the way she handled herself when talking to my MOH
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

Well then that's between you MOH and the BM to figure out. Not you. The only thing you've done is made yourself look like a bridezilla/bitch/brat/other b-nouns.

shellydiane820 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:722dc5ed-ba42-4d7d-bec1-a7aed6358f3a">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]She's the one who is petty when she can't even fork over $7
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

FFS you're such a jerk. Get over yourself.

RachNRich · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:579a51dd-a923-4c83-8c0a-d839d4070965">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]My panties aren't up in a bunch over $7.00. It's the way she handled herself when talking to my MOH
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]
You approached this from a money standpoint---you went so far as to list everything your BM spends her money on.<div>
</div><div>What you did NOT do was leave money out of this. If this was about her behavior--you should have worded your OP totally different asking us how we would suggest dealing with a BM that was being rude. But no, you chose to make money the highlight---sorry, would you like me to quote you for proof?</div>

MyNameIsNot · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:722dc5ed-ba42-4d7d-bec1-a7aed6358f3a">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]She's the one who is petty when she can't even fork over $7
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

<div>Oh no. You are the one who's being petty for making such a big deal over $7.</div><div>
</div><div>She's probably taking a stand to make a point about what a selfish brat her "friend" is.</div><div>
</div><div>What's wrong with you? I'm serious. What makes you think it's ok to treat people like this? </div>

zitiqueen · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:722dc5ed-ba42-4d7d-bec1-a7aed6358f3a">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]She's the one who is petty when she can't even fork over $7
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

How old did you say you were again, Healy? I must have missed your response.

brookelynpaisley · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:579a51dd-a923-4c83-8c0a-d839d4070965">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]My panties aren't up in a bunch over $7.00. It's the way she handled herself when talking to my MOH
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

Then that's between her and your MOH to work out. I'm assuming they're adults and not preschoolers who need help talking about their feelings, right?

Again, your MOH asked her to chip in, and she said no. End of story. Also, not your business.

And I'm loving that everyone in your life is enabling your bratty behavior by telling you that you deserve a party, aren't a brat, etc. My guess is they haven't got the spine to tell you the truth.

RachNRich · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:722dc5ed-ba42-4d7d-bec1-a7aed6358f3a">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]She's the one who is petty when she can't even fork over $7
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

<div>I thought it wasn't about MONEY??</div><div>
</div><div>You're a flaming bag of poo, ya know?</div>

RachNRich · April 2010

Here's an idea. Email your BM (the stingy, non-paying $7 one) the link to this thread. Let her know how you really feel. I bet she'll pay up after that.

healyl99 · April 2010

oh i'm the jerk.. I think you are all fucking Jerks for all the rude nasty comments you made towards me. What kind of people are you to go and talk to people like that. Is that how you talk to people out at the grocery store or the bank or something.. just call them names and bitch about them to their face

xoxob · April 2010

Can you please just read what you've typed very carefully, then ask yourself how we feel we're making an accurate judgment on you based on those points?

and if you come back and say "Oh, Tobias, you blow hard." We'll all know you're just socially/graciously/decent human beingly inept person.

You seriously, seriously, seriously, suck.

xoxob · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:484c3dc5-8a27-4f95-bea5-2159c020b69e">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]oh i'm the jerk.. I think you are all f*cking Jerks for all the rude nasty comments you made towards me. What kind of people are you to go and talk to people like that. Is that how you talk to people out at the grocery store or the bank or something.. just call them names and bitch about them to their face
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

I would, if I was confronted with someone like you in the grocey store. I'm sure you'd feel entitled to cut me in line and then make me throw you a victory party (for $7.50) over it.

RachNRich · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:484c3dc5-8a27-4f95-bea5-2159c020b69e">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]oh i'm the jerk.. I think you are all fucking Jerks for all the rude nasty comments you made towards me. <strong>What kind of people are you to go and talk to people like that.</strong> Is that how you talk to people out at the grocery store or the bank or something.. just call them names and bitch about them to their face
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

<div>Like I said in my last post---do yourself a favor and email yout BM a link to this thread. You question us---asking how we can make rude and nasty comments, when all you've done is bash your BM. </div><div>
</div><div>Again, email her. Let her know how you really feel. And then come back and let us know how that goes. </div><div>
</div><div>And, sweetie? You're no better than anyone in this thread. Get off your damn pedestal, and go back and read everything you've written....you're an ass for the way you spoke about a women you want to share a part in your wedding. Seriously. </div>

stina93446 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:484c3dc5-8a27-4f95-bea5-2159c020b69e">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]oh i'm the jerk.. I think <strong>you are all fucking Jerks</strong> for all the rude nasty comments you made towards me. What kind of people are you to go and talk to people like that. Is that how you talk to people out at the grocery store or the bank or something.. just call them names and bitch about them to their face
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

<div>Well, I think WE all agree that you're a big baby and a craptastic friend.</div><div>
</div><div>BTW, I am not sure that the MOD will appreciate that kind of language, healy. I'd watch it if I were you.</div>

Button5807 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:878966ac-2ae6-4f45-9960-4bb2ce698e42">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette : I would, if I was confronted with someone like you in the grocey store. I'm sure you'd feel entitled to cut me in line and then make me throw you a victory party (for $7.50) over it.
Posted by xoxob[/QUOTE]

i think i love you

healyl99 · April 2010

why is it that my BM can make a big deal over $7.00 and forcefully give her point in not wanting any part in chipping in and when I so called make a big deal over $7.00 it's not okay. Why is that? Your taking someone elses side you don't even know. If she doesn't want to pay, then she doesn't have to come. Just because one person doesn't want to pay, doesn't mean we are going to change our plans and go to dinner at McDonald's instead.

shellydiane820 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:484c3dc5-8a27-4f95-bea5-2159c020b69e">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]oh i'm the jerk.. I think you are all fucking Jerks for all the rude nasty comments you made towards me. What kind of people are you to go and talk to people like that. Is that how you talk to people out at the grocery store or the bank or something.. just call them names and bitch about them to their face
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

usually I don't associate myself with people who act like you. if I do happen to encounter such treachery, I do usually tell them they are missing the big picture.

btrflykate1230 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:484c3dc5-8a27-4f95-bea5-2159c020b69e">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]oh i'm the jerk.. I think you are all fucking Jerks for all the rude nasty comments you made towards me. What kind of people are you to go and talk to people like that. Is that how you talk to people out at the grocery store or the bank or something.. just call them names and bitch about them to their face
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

Well aren't you just a peach!

mags0607 · April 2010

Holy hell, ths is a mess, and healy, you are nothing but a drama mama. Just let it go, everyone has proven their point, and you are being a brat about $7.00. END OF STORY.

And honey, we can only respond based on what we read here, and from what I can tell, you are a selfish, bitchy, brat.

Just give up, accept that you aren't going to get the validation you seek, and let it go.

BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette

Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette

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