BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette

healyl99 · April 2010

wel maybe I made a wrong choice in choosing her as a bridesmaid and to be a part of my wedding, maybe i didn't know all these things in the beginging until now.

RachNRich · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:7fadf181-2286-42a1-8459-d12e41b5005e">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]why is it that my BM can make a big deal over $7.00 and forcefully give her point in not wanting any part in chipping in and when I so called make a big deal over $7.00 it's not okay. Why is that? Your taking someone elses side you don't even know. <strong> If she doesn't want to pay, then she doesn't have to come. </strong> Just because one person doesn't want to pay, doesn't mean we are going to change our plans and go to dinner at McDonald's instead.
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

<div>We don't know you either---so we should take your side just because you came here and bitched before she did? No. Sorry. Doesn't work that way.</div><div>
</div><div>If you don't want her to come because she doesn't want to pay the $7 -- then, by all means, tell her that she is no longer invited. It's as easy as that.</div>

shellydiane820 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:7fadf181-2286-42a1-8459-d12e41b5005e">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]why is it that my BM can make a big deal over $7.00 and forcefully give her point in not wanting any part in chipping in and when I so called make a big deal over $7.00 it's not okay. Why is that? Your taking someone elses side you don't even know. If she doesn't want to pay, then she doesn't have to come. Just because one person doesn't want to pay, doesn't mean we are going to change our plans and go to dinner at McDonald's instead.
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

Something tells me you're making a bigger deal than her. I don't see any posts about a frustrated bridesmaid complaining that a bride is trying to make her pay $7. On a public message board I might add.

mbcdefg · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:7fadf181-2286-42a1-8459-d12e41b5005e">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]why is it that my BM can make a big deal over $7.00 and forcefully give her point in not wanting any part in chipping in and when I so called make a big deal over $7.00 it's not okay. Why is that? Your taking someone elses side you don't even know. If she doesn't want to pay, then she doesn't have to come. Just because one person doesn't want to pay, doesn't mean we are going to change our plans and go to dinner at McDonald's instead.
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

Because SHE has the right to determine how she spends HER money. YOU do not have the right to determine how someone else spends HER money.

stina93446 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:f0f0ccf1-ee21-47d0-bc80-173982def412">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]wel maybe I made a wrong choice in choosing her as a bridesmaid and to be a part of my wedding, maybe i didn't know all these things in the beginging until now.
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]
\OMG, are you SERIOUSLY going to throw away a friendship over 7 bucks?!

shellydiane820 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:f0f0ccf1-ee21-47d0-bc80-173982def412">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]wel maybe I made a wrong choice in choosing her as a bridesmaid and to be a part of my wedding, maybe i didn't know all these things in the beginging until now.
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

I love that you're willing to end a friendship over $7.

btrflykate1230 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:f0f0ccf1-ee21-47d0-bc80-173982def412">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]wel maybe I made a wrong choice in choosing her as a bridesmaid and to be a part of my wedding, maybe i didn't know all these things in the beginging until now.
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

Over $7? You made a bad choice in BM because she's not willing to pay $7 to cover YOUR meal? It's $7.

I think she made the poor choice in becoming friends with you from the get go.

Sing2phins · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:83e9c623-2a4d-47fd-8673-a8702eff022e">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]When I first asked them to be bridesmaids they all asked what was expected and what they should do and all were told about the Bachelorette so therefore it was a requirement that they willingly knew about and agreed upon when they said yes to be a BM
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]
Hold the phone: you <strong>told </strong>them they would be required to plan a bachelorette party for you?

You are out of control. You need to take a step back and realize that any party thrown in your honor is a GIFT given by people who WANT to give it. It is NOT a requirement of accepting a position as a BM, which, as others have said, you should have chosen because of your relationship with them, not because of what they could provide for you.

brookelynpaisley · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:7fadf181-2286-42a1-8459-d12e41b5005e">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]why is it that my BM can make a big deal over $7.00 and forcefully give her point in not wanting any part in chipping in and when I so called make a big deal over $7.00 it's not okay. Why is that? Your taking someone elses side you don't even know. If she doesn't want to pay, then she doesn't have to come. Just because one person doesn't want to pay, doesn't mean we are going to change our plans and go to dinner at McDonald's instead.
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

We're not saying we take her side. We're simply not taking yours because of your holier than thou entitled princess attitude. She could be a giant douche too, for all we know. All we DO know is what you're telling us about how you're reacting to all this and you're being immature.

pinkpinot · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:f0f0ccf1-ee21-47d0-bc80-173982def412">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]wel maybe I made a wrong choice in choosing her as a bridesmaid and to be a part of my wedding, maybe i didn't know all these things in the beginging until now.
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

Well, bless your heart...

xoxob · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:7fadf181-2286-42a1-8459-d12e41b5005e">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]why is it that my BM can make a big deal over $7.00 and forcefully give her point in not wanting any part in chipping in and when I so called make a big deal over $7.00 it's not okay. Why is that? Your taking someone elses side you don't even know. If she doesn't want to pay, then she doesn't have to come. Just because one person doesn't want to pay, doesn't mean we are going to change our plans and go to dinner at McDonald's instead.
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

You also can't guarantee that she would be willing to chip in .15 cents to supersize your fries.

pinkpinot · April 2010

Per urban dictionary:

Bridezilla:
Bridezillas are a new breed of soon-to-wed women who abuse the idea that weddings are their "day." They terrorize their bridal party and family members, make greedy demands and break all rules of etiquette, to insure that they are the single most important person on the planet from the time they are engaged to the time they are married.

gottahavashorti · April 2010

It's her money and her right to decide what to do with it - not yours.

From the outside, it looks like you have a friend, your friendship was dwindling and one sided because she just wasn't interested in maintaining it. You asked her to be a BM anyway, she accepted but isn't interested in funding pre-wedding parties, which for the record is fine and her decision. She went a little overboard on it, but it's not like she's jumping off the deep end here.

You proceeded to go onto a public forum to complain about how it's required that she help with the bachelorette over and over despite being told that it is not a requirement. Please go back and read what you've written because the only thing we can use to form opinions is what you have written.

healyl99 · April 2010

I never said I was losing the friendship over $7. Stop putting words in my mouth when I never said that. I said maybe she shouldn't have been a bridesmaid. She might as well just been a regular old guest like my other friends who aren't bridesmaids

baystateapple · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:f0f0ccf1-ee21-47d0-bc80-173982def412">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]wel maybe I made a wrong choice in choosing her as a bridesmaid and to be a part of my wedding, maybe i didn't know all these things in the beginging until now.
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

Over $7?

Over $7.

I think at this point, I really CAN say I've seen it all on these boards.

xoxob · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:421ffc25-d713-4bb5-bf09-608340d51021">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]I never said I was losing the friendship over $7. Stop putting words in my mouth when I never said that. I said maybe she shouldn't have been a bridesmaid. She might as well just been <strong>a regular old guest</strong> like my other friends who aren't bridesmaids
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

WOW. You sure know how to make people taking time out of their lives to celebrate your wedding feel special. You're such a bitch.

healyl99 · April 2010

rules of ettiquette. I am doing nothing but try to follow al the ettiquette like my MOH deciding to throw a bachelorette and asking the girls if they can chip in

shoegal715 · April 2010

If you were nicer, she probably would WANT to chip in for you.

You sound like a bitch and a bridezilla.

xoxob · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:92471b3b-5bca-408f-93b0-53f6e553d404">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]rules of ettiquette. I am doing nothing but try to follow al the ettiquette like my MOH deciding to throw a bachelorette and asking the girls if they can chip in
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

Your poor attempts at earnestness are pathetic, FYI.

baystateapple · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:92471b3b-5bca-408f-93b0-53f6e553d404">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]rules of ettiquette. I am doing nothing but try to follow al the ettiquette like my MOH deciding to throw a bachelorette and asking the girls if they can chip in
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

Etiquette. Learn to spell.

Your MOH can decide if she wants to throw the party. Your girls can DECIDE if they want to chip in. YOU don't get to have a say. End of story. How would YOU feel if someone came up and demanded money of you, and you didn't want to pay, for <em>whatever</em> reason? You wouldn't like it. Because it's RUDE.

shellydiane820 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:92471b3b-5bca-408f-93b0-53f6e553d404">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]rules of ettiquette. I am doing nothing but try to follow al the ettiquette like my MOH deciding to throw a bachelorette and asking the girls if they can chip in
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

that's not etiquette. its not your responsibility. its the hostess's responsibility.

I think the eagles said it best, get over it.

zitiqueen · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:92471b3b-5bca-408f-93b0-53f6e553d404">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]rules of ettiquette. I am doing nothing but try to follow al the ettiquette like my MOH deciding to throw a bachelorette and asking the girls if they can chip in
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

I'm going to guess that you're 19 years old.

lalap69 · April 2010

Wow, just give it up. You're a spoiled entitled princess and the more you try to prove that you're not, the more obvious it becomes that you're a bitch. Just GO AWAY.

nhelene · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:92471b3b-5bca-408f-93b0-53f6e553d404">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]rules of ettiquette. I am doing nothing but try to follow al the ettiquette like my MOH deciding to throw a bachelorette and asking the girls if they can chip in
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

wut?

It is not proper 'etiquette' for your MOH to throw you a party. Nor is it proper etiquette for your BMs to chip in.

stina93446 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:421ffc25-d713-4bb5-bf09-608340d51021">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]I never said I was losing the friendship over $7. Stop putting words in my mouth when I never said that. I said maybe she shouldn't have been a bridesmaid. She might as well just been a regular old guest like my other friends who aren't bridesmaids
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]

<div>Demoting her to regular guest will surely end the friendship. That's what we mean. If you take her out of the WP because she doesn't want to may the 7 bucks, and you want her to attend as a guest, she may just decline to attend at all. This will surely bruise if not end your friendship. </div>

pinkpinot · April 2010

Stage, it looks great!

Ok so I just re-read your original post and now I'm confused:

"She also made other comments about not wanting to pay for any of our drinks. Just dinner. And she is just being really stingy."

HOLD THE PHONE. So the BM did agree to pay the freakin $7.00 for dinner? I wouldn't want to pay for YOUR drinks either especially in Atlantic City. That my dear, is EXPENSIVE.

baystateapple · April 2010

Good catch, pinkpinot.

OP, you are a spoiled, entitled snot.

xoxob · April 2010

I wonder what the "regular old guests" are going to want to spend on gifts. Totally super klassy wedding aka sweet sixteen party?

shoegal715 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-doesnt-want-chip-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:01bff517-fa84-4a68-94b2-5308049c7ad9Post:9145399a-14b2-470c-9a75-3f456ea1367e">Re: BM doesn't want to chip in for Bachelorette</a>:
[QUOTE]Hey, they know me and hang out with me and know me enough to know that I am not a brat. You guys are just basing it off of what you read. You can't judge someone and not even know them. When my MOH told me about the conversation of course you don't know the conversation. She was saying that the BM was being rude and flat out saying NO I Am not paying for them and their drinks. When no one even said anything about drinks. just dinner. But the point is, we didn't go back and say rude things to her when she was rude to us. We let it slide and said it's not worth it. All the other bridesmaids and groomsmen are happy and willing and that is all that matters. That one girl, oh well. Theres one in every bunch
Posted by healyl99[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>My god, you are annoying. Can you go away? You ask for advice and then attempt to defend yourself (which only makes you look worse) when NO ONE on here who took time to gave you advice agreed with you. </div><div>
</div><div>I actually feel sorry for your bridesmaids. I have a feeling this $7 issue is just the tip of the iceberg for your entitlement issues / bridezilla behaviour.</div><div>
</div>

healyl99 · April 2010

well what would you call them. Their a regular old guest. Yes that is what they are. I was trying to make you see the difference of a bridesmaid and a regular guest. But I guess they are just the same to all of you. ...

How many times do I have to say that I did nothing of the sorts of a Bridezilla. I just said how I was feeling at the moment in given time. Maybe at that moment I was stressed, or anxious, or nervous or upset. Sue me for having feelings and Sue me for saying something how I felt in one moment in time

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