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Snarky Brides
Anyone else noticed......
Is it just me or has anyone else noticed that on posts where people are asking for advice, there are a lot of brides that are down right rude and pushy? If your ideas don't happen to fall into what 1940's rules of ettiquette says should happen for a wedding they start telling everyone not to listen and some even start calling names. What ever happened to just giving your own opinion, and letting others have theirs?
?We are formed and molded by our thoughts. Those whose minds are shaped by selfless thoughts give joy when they speak or act. Joy follows them like a shadow that never leaves them.?
~ Buddha
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Re: Anyone else noticed......
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[QUOTE]Do you think they're targeting you for being smart and sexy?
Posted by Brandi0714[/QUOTE]
Ha!
Don't you mean TOO sexy? Or 2, whatever.
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People who hadn't even heard of the site started basiclly attacking the both of us(as much as you can in writing). Told her not to listen to anything we had said. Told her a list of things she should do,and that that site is just down right tacky. They were saying you should never use it because of the cash option. That things like that were just not proper ettiquette.
Then another lady suggested that if she wanted to forgo the general gift registry that maybe she would want to register for people to help pay for her honeymoon. And of course basiclly the same sort of things were said to her.
Sorry but I am of the rule of thumb that you can give your opinion without attacking others. As for the snark ladies, I can handle that, thats humor. Most of my friends are snarky. There is a huge difference between that and being right out rude.
And yes, honeymoon registries are tacky and rude. That is not my opinion, that is a fact.
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"Are you one of those vegetarian zombies that only eats grrrrrraaaaaaiiiinnnnnsssss?" -- raynes
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[QUOTE]I read the thread you're talking about, and honestly can't find any instances of anyone being rude. I think you're being overly-sensitive. And yes, honeymoon registries are tacky and rude. That is not my opinion, that is a fact.
Posted by mehgank[/QUOTE]
No, that's your opinion not a fact. There is a huge difference. And I have no problem with you having that opinion, what I think is rude is people blatantly saying ignore other people and saying things about the individual person.
Now I used the example of one I was involved in, but I have seen many post that did not involve me. Perhaps I should have found some of them as examples so that I wouldn't be accused of being "sensitive".
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Anyone else noticed...... : No, that's your opinion not a fact. There is a huge difference. And I have no problem with you having that opinion, what I think is rude is people blatantly saying ignore other people and saying things about the individual person. Now I used the example of one I was involved in, but I have seen many post that did not involve me. Perhaps I should have found some of them as examples so that I wouldn't be accused of being "sensitive".
Posted by smartn2sexy08[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Umm, no it is a fact. ASKING for money= RUDE. Honeymoon registry sites = asking for money = RUDE.
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[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Anyone else noticed...... : No, that's your opinion not a fact. There is a huge difference. And I have no problem with you having that opinion, what I think is rude is people blatantly saying ignore other people and saying things about the individual person. Now I used the example of one I was involved in, but I have seen many post that did not involve me. Perhaps I should have found some of them as examples so that I wouldn't be accused of being "sensitive".
Posted by smartn2sexy08[/QUOTE]
Bless your heart. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-undecided.gif" border="0" alt="Undecided" title="Undecided" />
my currently-reading shelf:
"Are you one of those vegetarian zombies that only eats grrrrrraaaaaaiiiinnnnnsssss?" -- raynes
**FOR SALE NOW**
[QUOTE]Wow I guess everyone on here is stuck in the 1940's. And it still <strong>regaurdless</strong> is a opinion not a fact. Maybe you ladies need to learn the difference. Its a fact that you think it rude. Its not a fact that it is rude. Something you think is an opinion, something you can prove is a fact, as in no one can dispute it.<strong> I am certainly bright </strong>enough to know that it was my opinion I stated in the first post and not a fact. Please know the difference before you claim its one or the other. Its starting to feel like Fox News on here.
Posted by smartn2sexy08[/QUOTE]
But not bright enough to spell regardless right?
[QUOTE]Oh is that the only thing you could think of to say in response to not knowing the difference between opinion and fact?
Posted by smartn2sexy08[/QUOTE]
Yep, I just think it is great how you are so riled up over this. I can say the same thing about stealing. The idea that stealing is wrong is merely an opinion and not a fact. The idea that murder is wrong is an opinion and not a fact. Cutting someone off on the road being rude is merely an opinion. Cheating on a test is simply rude and wrong and it is just your opinion; there is no way it could be a fact. Telling someone that they need to give me a gift isn't rude! That is just blasphemy.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Anyone else noticed...... : Umm, no it is a fact. ASKING for money= RUDE. Honeymoon registry sites = asking for money = RUDE.
Posted by Lizzieyounce[/QUOTE]
I'm sorry but im my opinion asking for money would be standing at the door with a cup in your hand as people go by. That's the visual that I get.
I'm just wondering how having a registry for gifts is any different? I know that it is not money that you are asking for, but instead, you are asking for things. I have seen comments that say with a Honeymoon Registry you are just asking for money, so therefore shouldn't having a Gift Registry be grouped the same? Asking for things.
In this case you are telling your guests what to buy you, and in a sense that you expect them to buy you something.
In the end it all comes down to asking people for something/ telling them what you want.
Bridal Registries have only become popular the last 80 years, give or take. Before that it was rude to ask for gifts at your wedding.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Anyone else noticed...... : Yep, I just think it is great how you are so riled up over this. I can say the same thing about stealing. The idea that stealing is wrong is merely an opinion and not a fact. The idea that murder is wrong is an opinion and not a fact. Cutting someone off on the road being rude is merely an opinion. Cheating on a test is simply rude and wrong and it is just your opinion; there is no way it could be a fact. Telling someone that they need to give me a gift isn't rude! That is just blasphemy.
Posted by rsanna[/QUOTE]
I agree that cutting someone off on the road and thinking that is rude is just an opinion. However the other examples you gave are not examples of opinions of what are wrong. If they were just moral issues you would be right, but those are all things that have documented laws against them, making it a fact that they are legally wrong.
And to the PP, I agree 100%. There is no difference in what type of gift a person asks for, its still a gift being asked for. As far as I am concerned if I don't want to pay for what they registered for I don't have to. I can buy something else. I don't think they are rude for asking for what they think they can actually use. It 2012 people, and a lot of people are not trying to furnish there first home when they get married. Alot have already been maried before. If they have a house filled with pots and pans and need nothing, why not help them pay for a honeymoon or part of the wedding. And the PP mad a very valid point about registries not being around forever. That is a fact. Here is the proof on Wiki - <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bridal_registry" rel="nofollow">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bridal_registry</a>
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Anyone else noticed...... : I'm sorry but im my opinion asking for money would be standing at the door with a cup in your hand as people go by. That's the visual that I get. I'm just wondering how having a registry for gifts is any different? I know that it is not money that you are asking for, but instead, you are asking for things.<strong> I have seen comments that say with a Honeymoon Registry you are just asking for money, so therefore shouldn't having a Gift Registry be grouped the same? Asking for things. In this case you are telling your guests what to buy you, and in a sense that you expect them to buy you something.</strong> In the end it all comes down to asking people for something/ telling them what you want. Bridal Registries have only become popular the last 80 years, give or take. Before that it was rude to ask for gifts at your wedding.
Posted by wildchild57[/QUOTE]
I disagree with this. I equate traditional wedding registries to birthday lists. You don't go around telling people "I want X, Y, Z for my birthday" all willy nilly, begging them to get you presents - you give them the list if they ask for it. That is what a gift registry is for - and why it does not go on the invitations. You are providing a useful list for people who choose to get you a gift.
Honeymoon registries are the same as asking for cash. The people who buy from those are just putting their money into a large pool (even though they think they are getting you a spa day, or flight, or whatever), and you lose a percentage right off the top. Andplusalso you won't even get the money until after the wedding, so you likely can't use it for the honeymoon anyways!
If you want cash, fine, just don't have a registry. Then tell those who ask for a list that you are saving up for A, B, C. They'll either find something random to give you, or send cash instead.
ETA: And just because I'm curious...while Wikipedia has valuable information, and a lot of it is probably valid nowadays, since when did it become the end-all of reference materials? I remember when we weren't allowed to quote it for research due to it's possible lack of credibility. :/
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ETA: And just because I'm curious...while Wikipedia has valuable information, and a lot of it is probably valid nowadays, since when did it become the endall of reference materials? I remember when we weren't allowed to quote it for research due to it's possible lack of credibility. :/ Posted by azdancer8[/QUOTE]
Ugh, Wikipedia is the devil, at least in academia. Whenever I teach a course with a research paper, I have to specify that Wikipedia is not an acceptable source. I still get students citing it, and in some cases quoting. Way to read the syllabus and detailed handout about the paper. IMO it is fine as a starting point but never the end all of info.
And Emily Post has to write a book to tell you something is now okay? Seriously! Is this the Stepford Wives Club or something.
[QUOTE]Since when is this college? I didn't know I had a syllabus to read before I could post. And Emily Post has to write a book to tell you something is now okay? Seriously!<strong> Is this the Stepford Wives Club or something.</strong>
Posted by smartn2sexy08[/QUOTE]
Hahahahaha. Comparing the SB board to the Stepford Wives Club? Oh boy.
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[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Anyone else noticed...... : I agree that cutting someone off on the road and thinking that is rude is just an opinion. However the other examples you gave are not examples of opinions of what are wrong. If they were just moral issues you would be right, but those are <strong>all things that have documented laws against them, making it a fact that they are legally wrong</strong>. And to the PP, I agree 100%. There is no difference in what type of gift a person asks for, its still a gift being asked for. As far as I am concerned if I don't want to pay for what they registered for I don't have to. I can buy something else. I don't think they are rude for asking for what they think they can actually use. It 2012 people, and a lot of people are not trying to furnish there first home when they get married. Alot have already been maried before. If they have a house filled with pots and pans and need nothing, why not help them pay for a honeymoon or part of the wedding. And the PP mad a very valid point about registries not being around forever. That is a fact. Here is the proof on Wiki - <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bridal_registry" rel="nofollow">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bridal_registry</a>
Posted by smartn2sexy08[/QUOTE]
So you're saying that Emily Post (an accepted etiquette guru) and the Emily Post Institute (ditto) writing the rules of etiquette is opinion, but a bunch of men in suits writing that stealing is wrong is a fact?
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Anyone else noticed...... : Yep, I just think it is great how you are so riled up over this. I can say the same thing about stealing. T<strong>he idea that stealing is wrong is merely an opinion and not a fact.</strong> <strong>The idea that murder is wrong is an opinion and not a fact.</strong> Cutting someone off on the road being rude is merely an opinion. Cheating on a test is simply rude and wrong and it is just your opinion; there is no way it could be a fact. Telling someone that they need to give me a gift isn't rude! That is just blasphemy.
Posted by rsanna[/QUOTE]
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</div><div>.........except that stealing is against the law...........and oh yeah...i think murder is too.</div>