bridal party not our first marriage

lovelydinosaur · April 2012

Hi,

we are in our mid forties. Not first marriage for either of us.

We are planning a nice affair about 100 people. Then the question came up if we should have a bridal party and I'm like hmmmm.....

I say just a MOH and best man but FH thinks bridal party is ok.

Curious as to what other ladies have done.

Lisa50 · April 2012

Let your FI know that a MOH and best man are, indeed, a bridal party. It is a small one, but it is one, nevertheless. So ... the two of you need to figure out how many attendants you want. Honestly, I loved having one attendant each -- a best man for the bride and one for the groom -- as did H. But, that's what we wanted. It reflects us perfectly.

Find out what best reflects the two of you, as a couple, and go for it. Enjoy!

handfast4me · April 2012

There are no "rules" for this sort of thing--women on the Second Wedding board have had all out throw-downs with huge bridal parties, or like me, just the two of us, on a beach. It's up to you.

You may have to have witnesses--and lots of folks use their MOH and Best Man for this job. In FL, where we were married, no witnesses are required. However, some states to require them, and some states also require that they NOT be blood relations. Just a couple of things to think about.

Lizzieyounce · April 2012

This will be my second (and last) marriage and my FI's first. We are having a bridal party...5 on each side. My MOH is my 17 year old daughter (who will be 18 for the wedding) and my 13 year old will be a bridesmaid.

I was prepared to do the JOP route, but he wants a traditional wedding. Now that I've started planning it, I am so excited! I can't wait to marry my best friend!

handfast4me · April 2012

You know, Lizzie, I always bristle when people say "this will be my last marriage" or "this will be my only marriage." (The latter is usually said in anger by someone who stumbles onto the second wedding board--judging us.) Here's why it gets me aggravated. Goddess forbid, your spouse dies, or you divorce (and, btw NO ONE goes into a marriage planning on those things), but what if it does happen? Do you want to be alone for the remainder of you life? Yes? Then, you're right, it is your last marriage. But having known a fair amount of widows and widowers in their 30s and 40s, I hope that those folks DO find love again. And the same goes for the folks who've been divorced.

::: gets off soapbox:::

Trifury2007 · April 2012

Thanks Handfast for saying that. It is something that bothers me as well but I was unable to come up with an eloquent way to say it.

KJeffs · April 2012

It bothers me too, I was widowed when I was 34. I never in a million years thought I would be alone that young. Now I am almost 40 and getting married again...It is not something you ever plan for. Second, third or what ever number it is, is NOT something most people plan for.

Lizzieyounce · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_40-plus-brides_bridal-party-not-our-first-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:69dea60c-2319-4015-8380-4a5cc0f18476Discussion:0a56c34c-da48-4ae4-972c-3561b708f449Post:718df344-e975-48fc-9174-dd2093faf080">Re: bridal party not our first marriage</a>:
[QUOTE]You know, Lizzie, I always bristle when people say "this will be my last marriage" or "this will be my only marriage." (The latter is usually said in anger by someone who stumbles onto the second wedding board--judging us.) Here's why it gets me aggravated. Goddess forbid, your spouse dies, or you divorce (and, btw NO ONE goes into a marriage planning on those things), but what if it does happen? Do you want to be alone for the remainder of you life? Yes? Then, you're right, it is your last marriage. But having known a fair amount of widows and widowers in their 30s and 40s, I hope that those folks DO find love again. And the same goes for the folks who've been divorced. ::: gets off soapbox:::
Posted by handfast4me[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>You have some great points there. I hadn't thought about it, really. Thanks for the food for thought.</div>

handfast4me · April 2012

Lizzie, thanks for being understanding. Your maturity is why I like this board. :-)

Lizzieyounce · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_40-plus-brides_bridal-party-not-our-first-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:69dea60c-2319-4015-8380-4a5cc0f18476Discussion:0a56c34c-da48-4ae4-972c-3561b708f449Post:28f20021-0515-4f15-b435-d5317fe73d97">Re: bridal party not our first marriage</a>:
[QUOTE]Lizzie, thanks for being understanding. Your maturity is why I like this board. :-)
Posted by handfast4me[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>You are welcome.</div><div>
</div><div>
</div>

CassieCA · April 2012

I'm 41, John's 43, 2nd marriage for me, 1st for him, and when I asked him about if he wanted a bridal party he said no (meaning also no MOH or BM). He doesn't like the idea of making it clear that some friends are more important/closer than others, and it's always kinda bothered me too although I had a wedding party of 5 (both men and women) for my first wedding.

As for me, I didn't really care one way or the other, and figure it's a lot less work on my side coordinating other people, what they're wearing, etc. One of my best friends was really excited stating "you mean I get to wear whatever I want to your wedding!!??" and my response 'yep!" Since it's a daytime garden wedding, she's all excited about finding an awesome hat to wear

With signing the marriage license, I think we'll have our mothers do that.

Kristin789 · April 2012

We had no attendants.

FI walked down with the officiant, and I walked down by myself.

And like Cassie, we had each of our mothers sign as witnesses on the marriage license.

2dBride · April 2012

We had two attendants for my second marriage--but then again, we had two attendants for my first marriage, too. I just find that small wedding parties decrease the potential for drama. Conversely, when my brother got married for the second time, he had all four of his kids as his attendants--and that was just the groom's side. There really are no rules on how many you can have.

afeith6658 · May 2012

My second marriage, his first. 5 bridesmaids, 2 jrs. Having about 100 people. My dress isn't as poofy as my first wedding dress. Of course, I don't think poofy is in anyway, I could be wrong. I'm not wearing a veil or blusher.

afeith6658 · May 2012

I should point out, I may be over 40 and on a second marriage, but I'm just as excited as a twenty something year old planning her first wedding.

caseyjune89 · July 2012

I am 55 - future husband will be one week short of 60 on wedding day. My two daughters - age 23 and 19 -will stand with me. His 24 yr. old son will stand with him. Am trying to figure out logistics regarding how to enter the church. Planning on fewer than 100 guests and the aisle is very long (not too enthused about walking the aisle anyway). Am thinking about entering from the side with my 2 daughters - stopping to kiss my parents and then meet up with the guys who will already have entered from their side with the minister. Thoughts?

bridal party not our first marriage

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