RSVP Envelope Question

kbates85 · July 2010

My fiancé and I live together and have been for the last three years. Is it OK to put both of our names on the RSVP envelops for the return address? Like so:

Ms. Jane Smith & Mr. John Doe
7575 Smith St.
Houston, TX 77077

I know that traditionally the bride and grooms names should not appear together until after the wedding but it just seems weird to pretend we don't live in the same apartment just for our wedding invitations. Especially since everyone who sends us mail addresses it to both of us.

Thanks!! Kim

Brie2010 · July 2010

Please tell me that's not your real address and names. If so, remove it immediately--internet safety is your friend.

Either way, I think for unmarried couples your names should go on separate lines. You could also just have them mailed to "The Smith-Jones Wedding" at your address.

mags0607 · July 2010

We just put my name, even though we both live together. It made my mother happy, and it really wan't that big of a deal to my Fi. I'm going to be the one keeping track of it, so I really didn't think it was a big deal.

mags0607 · July 2010

and Brie is right, if that is your adress, edit your post and get it out now. Anyone can lurk on these boards and there are crazies out there.

tldh · July 2010

I put my name and FI's name on the address. And seriously, edit your post now to remove your names and address!!!!

_Dagney_ · July 2010

Just put one of your names. Whoever is in charge of the guestlist.
That doesn't mean you are pretending you don't live together, you just aren't drawing attention to it.

kbates85 · July 2010

No, it's not our real address. I made it up completely. Not to worry.

I like the "Smith-Jones Wedding" idea. But whose name would go first his last name or mine? Or does it matter?

tldh · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rsvp-envelope-question-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c985d1d0-98c8-49de-9ada-411974900e7dPost:8ce8c062-752b-4b89-9fb4-daae7bb91a1f">Re: RSVP Envelope Question</a>:
[QUOTE]No, it's not our real address. I made it up completely. Not to worry. I like the "Smith-Jones Wedding" idea. But whose name would go first his last name or mine? Or does it matter?
Posted by kbates85[/QUOTE]

Are these your real names? If they are, people can still get your real address and a ton of other information on you.

I don't know if it's correct but I put my name first since I was the one who made all of the invites and insert cards and addressed them and mailed them.

Nicole41782 · July 2010

She signed her post "Kim". Why would you ladies even question her? And just by looking at her screen name her lastname is probably Bates.. Really use common sense people.

quotequeen · July 2010

Putting both your names isn't really an issue but if you want to be proper about it, your names don't go on the same line with and between them until you are married. The correct way to address a couple that is living together but not married is:

Ms. Jane Smith
Mr. John Doe
7575 Smith St.
Houston, TX 77077

Also, people, what are the chances that their names are Jane Smith and John Doe? Really?

tldh · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rsvp-envelope-question-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c985d1d0-98c8-49de-9ada-411974900e7dPost:63e6c134-63dc-4f8e-b2c3-fc28792ce3c9">Re: RSVP Envelope Question</a>:
[QUOTE]She signed her post "Kim". Why would you ladies even question her? And just by looking at her screen name her lastname is probably Bates.. Really use common sense people.
Posted by Nicole41782[/QUOTE]

With all due respect Nicole - we know.

We're trying to impress on OP that what she is doing here is not safe. Give me ten minutes and public records (all of which are online) and I can find out her real address, phone number, any property she or FI have ever owned, any court records, anything that has ever been published about them, facebook pages, names of family members etc. Add in the wedding date and she's let crooks know when her house and those of her family will be left unattended and prime for a break in.

EDIT
Quote Queen - you got here late
I just saw that OP changed the names in the original post to generic ones.

kbates85 · July 2010

OK people, it's really is not that big of a deal. I'm not an idiot. I would never post our real address. I made up a completely fake one (come on "7575 Smith St.)

I feel perfectly fine with people knowing my first and last name. We both have very common names and I don't know about everyone else but I give my first and last name to people, that I don't know, on a daily basis in my area of work.

Brie2010 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rsvp-envelope-question-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c985d1d0-98c8-49de-9ada-411974900e7dPost:c1ac45f0-33dc-4b79-9664-2a0d71f29b36">Re: RSVP Envelope Question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: RSVP Envelope Question : . EDIT Quote Queen - you got here late I just saw that OP changed the names in the original post to generic ones.
Posted by tldh[/QUOTE]

This. When I posted what I did, the names were different.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rsvp-envelope-question-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c985d1d0-98c8-49de-9ada-411974900e7dPost:8ce8c062-752b-4b89-9fb4-daae7bb91a1f">Re: RSVP Envelope Question</a>:
[QUOTE]No, it's not our real address. I made it up completely. Not to worry. I like the "Smith-Jones Wedding" idea. But whose name would go first his last name or mine? Or does it matter?
Posted by kbates85[/QUOTE]

Ladies first. So your name goes first.

I just put my name on the RSVP cards, but promised FI we could open them together. Traditional/old school etiquette is whoever is hosting the wedding, so usually it would be the bride's mom, but these days, no one really cares.

polichik · July 2010

We just had our address, no names. I saw an invitation suite that had it, and I really liked it. Pics in bio under "paper stuff."

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