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Just going ahead and getting married?
First off, I am only asking because I am curious what you ladies think if someone who was planning a wedding suddenly decided to just call of the "wedding" and instead have a small destination wedding with only close family and friends, and move the wedding up drastically? What if the couple just eloped? What if they didn't even tell anyone they were planning on getting married, and then just tell everyone "Well, we're married!"?
Would you be offended? Would your reaction change if they were family/close? What if you were getting married and someone eloped before your wedding (like 6+ months). What if they eloped the day before?
Like I said, just curious! Though through thinking about it, eloping seems so much easier than planning a wedding!
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Re: Just going ahead and getting married?
And I completely agree with Lauren that as long as you are honest and don't attempt a PPD (fake wedding) then it's really all up to the couple.
I think if I was family or a close friend I would be offended. But I also think I would get over it. People want to celebrate with you but while they may never understand they should get over it with time.
Honestly if you want to do it. Just do it. But don't have a PPD, and then you will be all good.
Married! May 27th, 2012
Oh I certainly agree, a PPD is kinda of, to me, like "Well, we want gifts, but didn't want the hassle of inviting you all to the wedding!" To me, if you elope, you're forgoing any kind of pre-wedding parties and any kind of wedding gifts. A small, destination wedding though, I feel like it is okay to receive gifts (certainly not to expect) from people you invited - as long as you don't say "I'm having a small destination wedding to Aruba, but I am going to invite everyone and their dogs, because I know they can't afford to come."
Personally, I wouldn't care if someone eloped the day before or a year before my wedding (as long as the afore mentioned senario doesn't happen). I guess I've never been one to see how anyone else's life accomplishments or celebrations takes away from my own. You're married! Yay! I'm getting married too! Yay! Same with engagements, pregnancies, house buying, graduation, jobs, etc.
If the person who was eloping was a close friend, I would be sad, especially if I thought I was going to be invited to her wedding, but I think I'm a more or less reasonable person, and would understand that she made the choice that was best for her and her fiance. Just because someone might want/expect you to have a large wedding, I don't think you should be (though, I know people might be hurt.)
[QUOTE]Are they eloping before or after the bridal shower? Like PP said, as long as there isn't a major etiquette infraction involved, I say marry however you want! There are only a few people in my life that would illicit disappointment from me if I missed out on an important event like this.
Posted by RWS2011[/QUOTE]
Yeah, that is another aspect to look at. In my head it was before anyone had spent any money on their wedding, but if they eloped after the bridal shower (not sure about engagement parties, since that is celebrating an engagement not wedding... but still another aspect to think about!) I would probably be a little more than miffed. Maybe?
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Just going ahead and getting married? : Yeah, that is another aspect to look at. In my head it was before anyone had spent any money on their wedding, but if they eloped after the bridal shower (not sure about engagement parties, since that is celebrating an engagement not wedding... but still another aspect to think about!) I would probably be a little more than miffed. Maybe?
Posted by LilTexasGal[/QUOTE]
<div>I think I'd still be ok with it, but if I had booked a flight/other non-refundable expenses to get to their wedding and they eloped right before I'd be pretty frustrated. I might side-eye a teensy bit if they had all the pre-wedding parties but it would also depend on why they eloped really.</div>
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Just going ahead and getting married? : I think I'd still be ok with it, but if I had booked a flight/other non-refundable expenses to get to their wedding and they eloped right before I'd be pretty frustrated. <strong>I might side-eye a teensy bit if they had all the pre-wedding parties but it would also depend on why they eloped really.
</strong>Posted by kaitlynmichelle[/QUOTE]
Good thinking too. I think is this why I ike "what if" questions, because there are so many different things that could come up. Keeps me grounded when things DO come up, it is like "You don't always know all the details."
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Just going ahead and getting married? : Good thinking too. I think is this why I ike "what if" questions, because there are so many different things that could come up. Keeps me grounded when things DO come up, it is like "You don't always know all the details."
Posted by LilTexasGal[/QUOTE]
<div>Exactly. If someone eloped but had a bridal shower, etc. and was planning the whole time on running off, sure, that's rude. But who knows what is going on, so if it was a necessary decision or better for the couple than I understand it if they aren't following proper etiquette.</div>
Depends on how far into the planning process they were. If guests had already booked travel, then I think it's pretty crappy just because tickets often aren't refundable these days. If it's before that though, then it's your perogative.
What if the couple just eloped?
My first reaction would be that something happened that they needed to get married asap, but it wouldn't bother me unless lied about being married and then still wanted to have a PPD.
What if they didn't even tell anyone they were planning on getting married, and then just tell everyone "Well, we're married!"?
I'd be a little surprised, but how a couple gets married is up to them.
Would you be offended?
No
Would your reaction change if they were family/close?
I'd be disappointed that I wasn't there, but I wouldn't hold it against them.
What if you were getting married and someone eloped before your wedding (like 6+ months). What if they eloped the day before? You get one day to get married, that's it. I'll never understand people who get upset that others get married before them. The day before, I can see being a little iffy because that's kind of AW like you eloped and are trying to piggyback your celebration with theirs, but they paid for it. If they are two totally separate weddings though (ie, you don't have any overlapping guests), then it's NBD.
"You're our early 20's BSC scarecrow. They cower at your maturity." - lennonkdc
[QUOTE]First off, I am only asking because I am curious what you ladies think if someone who was planning a wedding suddenly decided to just call of the "wedding" and instead have a small destination wedding with only close family and friends, and move the wedding up drastically? What if the couple just eloped? What if they didn't even tell anyone they were planning on getting married, and then just tell everyone "Well, we're married!"? Would you be offended? Would your reaction change if they were family/close? What if you were getting married and someone eloped before your wedding (like 6+ months). What if they eloped the day before? Like I said, just curious! Though through thinking about it, eloping seems so much easier than planning a wedding!
Posted by LilTexasGal[/QUOTE]
I'd tell people about the eloping for sure, and sure feelings will be hurt but it's your day, your choice, as long as alot of planning hasn't been already decided. My bf & I are thinking of eloping or just having a small las vegas wedding, how cool would that be?