Not Engaged Yet

Accidently found out when he is proposing....what do I do?

So today my boyfriend asked me to watch his phone while he was outside to wash his car and I was looking through his phone to see what was said between his cousin and him because he told me that his cousin is planning to propose on October 9th to one of my friends. Both of us do the same thing, if he wants to know something he looks at my phone and we have an open door policy about that , it is never about distrust or anything like that just to clear the air so you dont think I was snooping.  Anyways, I found the details of what his cousin was planning and then I  was completely caught off guard when I saw that he had put when he was planning to propose to me in November on Thanksgiving. I feel horrible because it was completely unintentional and I wasn't even looking for the information and now I don't know what to do. I didn't want to know when he was planning to propose to me and now I feel like I have ruined my own surprise. I feel weird telling him because normally we look through each others phones and its not a big deal at all but in this case I don't want him to think I was snooping trying to find out because I wasn't that at all. I don't want to tell him and him get mad at me but I also don't want to know the date he is planning to propose. What do I do??

Re: Accidently found out when he is proposing....what do I do?

  • Jessjoy727Jessjoy727 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I ended up just telling him and he wasn't mad at all. I kind figured he wouldn't be but I just felt so bad. I felt horrible because I wasn't looking for that information and I didn't want to go along and not be surprised. He laughed at me and told me it was ok and that he just wouldn't do it that day haha. anyways, hello everyone, this is my first post and I hope to become a regular on here! Hope everyone is having a great weekend so far!

    -Jess Joy
  • Elle1036Elle1036 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I'm glad you told him.  I think that was the right way to go.
  • edited December 2011
    Well, now you know not to look in his phone anymore until AFTER he proposes. Tongue out

    I never snoop around my DH's stuff because I LOVE surprises. I also have a big pet peeve about snooping, so there's that. But, honestly, we know each others' passwords to everything, and neither of us noses around. If we want to know something, we just ask. For instance, in your situation, I would have said "So, what's the story with Jim-Bob proposing to Sally?" instead of perusing his texts.

    Sure, if it works in your relationship to have little or no privacy, that's cool beans. But if you like surprises, I'd cut it out until the big surprise is over. Wink
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  • TopazAngelTopazAngel member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm glad he was gracious about changing his plans :)
    He knows you look through his phone so he should have deleted that if he wanted to keep it a secret. Silly.

    Also, welcome!
  • edited December 2011
    Lol. I'm glad you told him. I'm in the Jeana camp of just not wanting surprises ruined. FI and I know each other's passwords and such. About a year ago I was looking in his email for the tracking number of something we ordered and accidentally saw the invoice email from a florist for flowers he ordered for me for my birthday. I hated that the surprise was ruined. I rarely look in his emails or go on his facebook unless he tells me to now. I learned my lesson.
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  • breezerbbreezerb member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Glad everything worked out!

    Welcome to the site Jess Joy!
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  • Jessjoy727Jessjoy727 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Haha thanks everyone for the welcome! I definitely will NOT be looking through his phone anymore, I rarely ever do, I can't even remember the last time I did other than today. Next time I will just get up and ask haha I don't like snooping either, i really hate surprises ruined and this is the first time it has ever happened. He managed to keep it a secret that he was taking me to the behind the scenes of the penguin exhibit ( ha I love penguins ) at seaworld and it was the best thing ever.
  • edited December 2011
    Welcome aboard. 

    I'm like the others, I like surprises, but really only if they're gifts.  My brother and I both knew where my mom "hid" our Christmas and birthday presents - my brother almost always knew what he was getting, but I never looked in there - I still avoid that space when I go to my parent's house - don't want to know what I'm getting till I get it.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_accidently-found-out-proposingwhat?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:591248ef-39fe-4d31-a12b-0e76297d6975Post:f1d59fe6-d2c8-478e-9c35-2d2583a89a11">Re: Accidently found out when he is proposing....what do I do?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Welcome aboard.  I'm like the others, I like surprises, but really only if they're gifts.  My brother and I both knew where my mom "hid" our Christmas and birthday presents - my brother almost always knew what he was getting, but I never looked in there - I still avoid that space when I go to my parent's house - don't want to know what I'm getting till I get it.
    Posted by AngieD&JoeD[/QUOTE]

    Angie: I knew where my Christmas presents were too! My parent's had a really long bedroom so they added a small half bathroom and a walk-in closet when we were little. They still has a small closet in the other corner of their bedroom and we called it "the magic gift making closet." We knew that's where gifts were hidden and just didn't go in there. We didn't want our surprises ruined.  All of our friends thought we were nuts for never looking.
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  • raw1299raw1299 member
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    lets hope the date is closer now! and not like at christmas, ANOTHER month away from the original date. that would really suck. or he could still propose that day, and just tell you no to sike you out.
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