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Shower within 1 week of the wedding?

SweetjadedtearsSweetjadedtears
100 Comments Second Anniversary
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Hi everyone, I have Cliff notes at the bottom, but am looking for some opinions.

Our wedding is next month and in another state (our home town where our family and friends still live). We are flying into town 1 full week before the wedding so that we can spend time with family.

Being that we live out of state, I was not at all planning on having a shower or anything like that. I just found out (it was supposed to be a secret, lol) that my Bridesmaids are planning on picking us up at the airport and taking me for an all girls day and Bachelorette party that night (the boys are taking FI for the night). Then the next day they have planned a shower with a bunch of FI's family and our friends (from what I could gather everyone that's invited is also invited to the wedding).

While this sounds like a blast and I love the idea of spending time with everyone, I feel like I'd be putting people out having all these events so close together. I don't know if I should say something to my girls though since it sounds like they've been planning this whole thing out for awhile now and I'm not really even supposed to know about it (my MOH is very sensitive so I can see her crying if she found out the surprise was ruined).

What do you think? Would you side-eye a Bachelorette/Shower/Wedding all within a week? I've been to several wedding showers, but for the life of me I can't remember how close they were to any of the actual weddings...

CN: Wedding is out of state. My Bridesmaids are planning a secret bachelorette party and shower 1 week before the wedding. Do you think having all these events close together is a problem? If so, should I mention it even though I'm not supposed to know about the parties?
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Re: Shower within 1 week of the wedding?

  • Kate61487Kate61487 member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    ehh It's a little close together, but I'm assuming all the guests are local (so it's not like you're asking people to travel twice in a week) and since they'll all know it's a surprise if anything they'll be mildly irritated with your BP, not you.  I'd go with it.

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  • SweetjadedtearsSweetjadedtears
    100 Comments Second Anniversary
    Thanks ladies. When I found out, I was a little worried, but I'll just go with it. I just didn't want people to be think I was an attention hog or anything, lol.
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  • Bonzo2011Bonzo2011 member
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments 5 Love Its
    I think that since you live out of town, and most if not all of the people involved seem to live in town, it is fine. I wouldn't side-eye this at all, especially since as a guest I would know that it was a surprise for you! On the flip side, when a cousin of mine got married in NY a few years ago, her parents were somewhat annoyed that the shower was a full month ahead of the wedding because it meant they had to fly out twice. Of course they went, and I don't think they said anything to her because they knew it was her BMs who planned it, but I heard through the grapevine that it was annoying to deal with the flights, time off work, etc. That part of my family is known for gossiping and holding weird grudges though, so they may be unusual.
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  • whitsywhitsy
    1000 Comments
    I think it would be fine and sounds like a lot of fun. I would even think that the guest lists wouldn't overlap much.
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  • SweetjadedtearsSweetjadedtears
    100 Comments Second Anniversary
    Thanks everyone! :)
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  • Kristin789Kristin789 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Showers are held within a 6-week window prior to the event, and it's common to have showers in the south that are within a 2-week window.  Since you're coming from out of town, I wouldn't side-eye this at all.  Would be fun to build the excitement and enjoy the full week prior to the wedding as well as the wedding & reception.
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  • sweetcanadian1979sweetcanadian1979
    1000 Comments
    Mine is a week before the wedding because my mother & sister both live 2000 miles away. So far no one we mentioned this too has had a problem with it. It bothers me but they all think it is fine. I wouldn't worry about it, they have plenty of time to buy the gift without it affecting the money they spend on the wedding (new dress/gift etc if they choose)
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  • misssunshine17misssunshine17 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    I was a BM in a wedding where the shower was the Sunday before the wedding and I wouldn't do it again. I felt the whole time that, as an adult, it looks gift grabby for twice witin one week. Although, the family understood because the bride couldn't get home twice. I think it's a know your audience kind of thing :)
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  • vexievexie member
    100 Comments
    My shower was just under 2 weeks before the wedding and there were no issues at all...in fact it worked out great because my hubby's family are all 2 hours away so hadn't met all my family and friends. This was the perfect opportunity for the extended families to meet and then just 2 weeks later they could still remember names etc :)
    84image 73image 11image Wedding date: June 11, 2011 :)
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