So, I have this HUGE problem. I'm one of those people who has several moms and dads, bio dad w/ stepmom, adoptive mom and dad, bio mom (passed away 18 yrs ago). The question isn't whether to include all as a pegit parent, that's a given. I love them all. My problem is this...
My adoptive mother and I have had problems for about 8 years now, I'm only 20. I call her my mom because she gave up alot for me when my bio mom, her cousin, died when I was a baby, such as going to custody battles for me and spending nearly .5 million$ in court costs and all that. And I owe her so much for saving me from the horrible foster child system and other family who would've hurt me. But when I was 12 she became an alcoholic because of her father dying of cancer and her husband cheating on her. Understandable her pain. She became very abusive, mentally and physically.
When I was 15 I decided to move to live with my bio dad and stepmom. After that it got worse with my adoptive mom. We can't even speak civilly to each other for 5 minutes. She still sees me as a little girl, and sees everyhting I do as a huge mistake, even moving away form her still causes some problems with us.
I want to invite my adoptive father and his mother, I get along great with them. But I also want to invite my adoptive moms parents and her, just as a thank you for doing so much for me. But I'm scared there's going to be alot of problems between us.
Her family is racist (my FI's stepfamily is all black), they full blown religious, and the ceremony's civil service, and I'm currently pregnant, a big no-no with her family.
What should I do? I need some serious advice here and no one really has anything that could help.
Also, inviting my adoptive father includes inviting her so saying no to her will cause some problems for him between them.