S/O Student Loan Debt

iamjoesgurl · May 2010

It is so depressing when you think about how many students graduate from college in debt. So, I'm wondering if you hope to do anything differently for your children someday that what your parents did (or were able to do) to help you.

Lyss5782 · May 2010

Random website from my Google search says: According to www.nelliemae.com/">Nellie Mae the average student owes $18,900 at graduation.

iamjoesgurl · May 2010

I don't know what the avg. loan payment is, but I just found that the avg. student debt upon graduation in 2007-2008 was about $23,000 (undergrad).

http://www.finaid.org/loans/

MeaghanandMichael · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_student-loan-debt?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:45083b97-58ce-4c78-8535-72fdb827a464Post:de424a7c-4036-4943-bef4-beffc32ec40d">Re: S/O Student Loan Debt</a>:
[QUOTE]Random website from my Google search says: According to <a href="http://www.nelliemae.com/" rel="nofollow">www.nelliemae.com/</a> "> Nellie Mae the average student owes $18,900 at graduation.
Posted by Lyss5782[/QUOTE]

From undergrad?

Most people I know do a post grad so that seems small...

crfische · May 2010

Well, crap. I was a bit above the average. And by a bit, I mean a lot.

LauraT25 · May 2010

I posted a poll like this on my club board a while back, and was somewhat surprised by the responses.

FI and I plan on saving and paying for as much of our future childrens' education as we can. I don't think it's necessarily a parent's duty to do so, but I personally hope that I can make life a little easier for my kids. I get that people appreciate school if they pay for it themselves, but you can appreciate it even if your parents pay as long as you're raised properly, and I would prefer that my kids have one less thing to stress about upon graduation.

RachNRich · May 2010

My husband is a college professor--so, if our kids go to his college, it will be free. So, I have a feeling they will be going to his school--free sounds real good when you compare it to loans.

crfische · May 2010

If anyone asserted that i didn't appreciate my education because my parents paid for it, i'd probably want to punch them in the beavermuffin.

Lyss5782 · May 2010

I think undergrad? And before interest, obviously you wind up paying a lot more.

mandysmear · May 2010

ditto fishy! haha beaver muffin. my tuition was only 8k. but i also had to you know LIVE in those 10 months i was in school. so i can't imagine it was cheap. not to mention the car and car insurance they insisted on paying for.

mica178 · May 2010

I'd like to pay for my kids' college education and at least part of graduate school, if I can. My parents paid for undergrad and grad school for my sister and me. My FI's parents paid for college only. Nowadays, I feel like a college degree is a minimum requirement to get a good job, and I'd like to let my future kids have what they need to get started in life.

MeaghanandMichael · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_student-loan-debt?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:45083b97-58ce-4c78-8535-72fdb827a464Post:7527f196-74df-464d-ac29-325008945eb0">Re: S/O Student Loan Debt</a>:
[QUOTE]If anyone asserted that i didn't appreciate my education because my parents paid for it, i'd probably want to punch them in the beavermuffin.
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

Yes. Like you said, having them pay for it made me feel like I was obligated to do well. Not in the sense like I was trapped or something, but in the sense that I was part of a family who was giving and supportive and expected the same amount of respect in return. Doing my best for them really made me shine and I was happy to do so.

Honestly, the part about support and giving is huge for me in this, I can not think of a better gift ot give your children than education and I hope every parents strives for it. I am a sap like that though.

nda_roxybabe · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_student-loan-debt?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:45083b97-58ce-4c78-8535-72fdb827a464Post:4805cfc5-2ff5-461f-a7b3-c611b886aa24">Re: S/O Student Loan Debt</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: S/O Student Loan Debt : What will you do if your child really loves a public university?
Posted by ggmae[/QUOTE]
Oops, I should have specified. I mean for elementary- highschool. They can go to any college they please.
I like the different structures of some private or even charter schools. I like the idea of smaller classes/ smaller schools. I'd be open to a public charter school.

ggmae · May 2010

Gotcha, Rox.

nda_roxybabe · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_student-loan-debt?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:45083b97-58ce-4c78-8535-72fdb827a464Post:eb9d32a5-e99b-4852-8248-a49147d226c5">Re: S/O Student Loan Debt</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: S/O Student Loan Debt : Can I ask why? Religious private school? Or just private school in general?
Posted by Lyss5782[/QUOTE]
I went to a religious private school but I most likely will not send my children to a religious school.

crfische · May 2010

I public vs. private school debate would be interesting if I wasn't so tired. As it is, I'm gonna go tuck myself in.

Good night, lovlies. ♥

nda_roxybabe · May 2010

Night Fische

meganb01wedding · May 2010

So true!
My parents paid for my apt, but i am still paying for my private college education...as I should.
I could have gone to a state school, but i did not.
I will be paying for my school for the next 20 years.
I have no idea what i will do for my children , because to be honest I have NO IDEA!!
I wish I will and hope I will, bust hell I'm not even married yet and have not real
conception of how that will be.
to me it is hard enough to think about spitting bills with my fiance. He has SOOOO much Debt...he wont even tell me! that is so hard for me to see!!

Lyss5782 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_student-loan-debt?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:45083b97-58ce-4c78-8535-72fdb827a464Post:acf9c53b-c777-452c-bd22-b904709b64b0">Re: S/O Student Loan Debt</a>:
[QUOTE]I public vs. private school debate would be interesting if I wasn't so tired. As it is, I'm gonna go tuck myself in. Good night, lovlies. ♥
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

haha I was thinking the exact same thing! Another day, perhaps?

Good night, ladies...got to get some beauty sleep...I leave for my bachelorette weekend tomorrow! (Hopefully this beauty sleep will make my bod bikini ready!)

Lyss5782 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_student-loan-debt?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:45083b97-58ce-4c78-8535-72fdb827a464Post:27721822-17fa-4b3d-b633-60248e5d7acc">Re: S/O Student Loan Debt</a>:
[QUOTE]to me it is hard enough to think about spitting bills with my fiance. He has SOOOO much Debt...he wont even tell me! that is so hard for me to see!!
Posted by meganb01wedding[/QUOTE]

Uhh....i would talk about that before you get married....

tobeDrReed · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_student-loan-debt?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:45083b97-58ce-4c78-8535-72fdb827a464Post:852d2b0d-9142-45dc-a94e-19f04a2b4df1">Re: S/O Student Loan Debt</a>:
[QUOTE]I get that Reed, but conversely, my motivation was the same. If I was going to take my parents money to go to college, I was going to work my ASS off to do the best I could, get scholarships, hit up the deans list, and make them know that I appreciated what they did for me and not disappoint them or let them down.
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

You sound like a very motivated and responsible person and from lurking on E I believe that you are. I am sure many people share your motivation but unfortunately my university seemed to be filled by students that didn't really want to be there. To me they were wasting their parents' money by not taking their education seriously. I understand this is not true of all students, as many on this board have shown. For me it was highly motivational to fear the student loans that I wouldn't be able to pay back should I fail to successfully complete my education.

ggmae · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_student-loan-debt?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:45083b97-58ce-4c78-8535-72fdb827a464Post:2a72e360-517e-47aa-bc5d-e5a2fa7ad59e">Re: S/O Student Loan Debt</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: S/O Student Loan Debt : Uhh....i would talk about that before you get married....
Posted by Lyss5782[/QUOTE]

I agree.

luckyme502 · May 2010

I didn't fall into any of your options. I was a single mom until recently. My ex-husband has never paid child support. I could not afford to save money for her to go to college. That being said, I will help her as much as I can, and so will my parents, so I don't know if she will have to take out loans or not.

Some parents can save more than others and some schools cost more than others. Also, where are you drawing the line with paying for school? What about graduate school? Do you think parents need to help with that too?

harbor_girl · May 2010

My parents paid for all of my undergraduate education. They also help me a little bit with law school, but I have loans and a generous scholarship for most of it. Because of their sacrifice, I am very motivated to save money for my own kids' college education -- even now, when I don't have kids yet.

I don't think there is a right or wrong way to approach the issue, I just know that I feel so grateful for what my parents did for me, that I want to do the same for my kids.

luckyme502 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_student-loan-debt?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:45083b97-58ce-4c78-8535-72fdb827a464Post:fadfdddc-5b0e-415e-88d1-d4027e9c9767">Re: S/O Student Loan Debt</a>:
[QUOTE]Personally, I think paying for a college education is part of having kids. It may be unpopular or not right, but it is how I feel when you make the choice.
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

I'm going to have to disagree with this. Paying for your kids to go to college is not a requirement. It is something very nice if you can afford to do it for them.

Giving them a loving home and providing for all of their needs is what you should do as a parent. Pay for all college expenses, not so much.

bel138 · May 2010

I don't intent to pay 100% of school for my children, and I most likely would be able to. DH and I have discussed paying tuition while they take care of cost of living. I feel like at 18 you really should be "taking care" of yourself, regardless of whether you are in college, trade school, the military, etc. I feel like if you don't draw the line at legal adulthood, where do you draw it? Advanced degrees are all own their own though. Paying for my own damn medical school is going to take me too flucking long as it is.

jessmoe · May 2010

My parents are paying for my college (one semester left!) and I am SO thankful. Before I met FI, I thought that things would be so nice and easy for me because I will have NOTHING to pay back and can start saving for a house right away. It's a totally different story for FI - as his parents didn't help at all and he will have more student loan debt than I want to even think about when he is done. It feels so overwhelming to know we have to worry about paying it all back...I don't want our kids to have to deal with that.

brookelynpaisley · May 2010

I feel incredibly fortunate that my undergrad was paid for. I had loans, but my mom has paid them off for me. My grad school has been mostly paid for by my employer, and I have about $6K in loans. My parents deal was that they'd take care of undergrad, and grad school was my responsibility. Since I will expect nothing short of a 4-year degree, I think it's reasonable to do my best to pay for as much as we possibly can.

brookelynpaisley · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_student-loan-debt?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:45083b97-58ce-4c78-8535-72fdb827a464Post:2a72e360-517e-47aa-bc5d-e5a2fa7ad59e">Re: S/O Student Loan Debt</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: S/O Student Loan Debt : Uhh....i would talk about that before you get married....
Posted by Lyss5782[/QUOTE]

Um, yeah. Because I hate to tell you OP, that's about to be your debt now too.

pooh8402 · May 2010

my parents offered to pay for my first degree but I was fortunate enough to have enough scholarships that they didn't have to. they did not pay for my second degree though, so that's where my student loans come from.

I will save as much as I can, but if it's not enough to completely pay for my kids' college educations, I'll fund as much as I can. it's so much easier when people can leave school with as little debt as possible. especially with bachelor degrees being worth less and less as they become more common.

bethsmiles · May 2010

My parents are paying for my college education and I am beyond grateful. Its the best gift they could have ever given me. As a child I never got silly things like allowance but knowing that my parents saved up because they value my education means SO much to me and I hope to do the same for my children.

I take my education very seriously (I always have) and I don't feel that I value my education less than someone who had to pay for it themselves. I work hard in all of my classes, take 18 credits every semester and will finish college in under 4 years so that my parents don't have to pay as much. I know there are alot of people on campus that aren't as grateful that their parents are paying for their college but that is not every student whose parents are helping out.

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