"B list" invites

futuremrandmrsrioux · July 2012

(Not sure if this is the proper place to post this question.)

As we are recieving invites, we have a few more no's than we anticipated so we need to send out some invites from our "b list". With the RSVP date rapidly approaching, how do we send out these invites? We don't want to include RSVP cards with a date that has already passed.

Thank you!

ElisabethJoanne · July 2012

theknot despises B lists.

Having heard all sides (and been B-listed myself), I would say: only B list people who are OK with being B-listed and with whom you're OK being up front about the situation.

This will be a small group of not-uptight people you're particularly close to. Some people will actually say, "I don't mind being invited last-minute if you have any cancellations" (and some of these will be people you wish you could invite, and some will be hangers-on). With some people, you may have discussed the B-list concept with their own weddings, so you know they're OK with it.

But, again, only B list people who are OK with being B-listed and with whom you're OK being up front about the situation.

coraleetbwed · July 2012

I think if they weren't good enough to be on your "A" list, you shouldn't send them an invitation. If they have ANY connection with anyone else you invited, they'll know, i.e. facebook.

libby2483 · July 2012

That is the problem with B lists. If the RSVP date is close or passed, these people will know they have been B listed. Honestly, I would rather not be invited than know I was B listed. Since it seems like your gut is already telling you this is a bad move, I would recommend not sending them out at all.

Summer2011Bride · July 2012

Don't B list people. Most people won't tell you to your face, "I don't want to be B-listed and it's rude" because they're your friends and family and care about your feelings. It doesn't mean they aren't seriously judging you and feeling hurt when you aren't there. If they were that important to you that you just HAVE to have them there, they should have been on the "A list." I would not be that desperate to go to anyone's wedding that I would willingly be B-listed, I don't care who it is. If I'm not your priority, you aren't mine. I would much rather just not be invited (because I understand not every B&G can or want to invite a ton of people).

kmsst48 · July 2012

You could do as my cousin did and call and say "Hey ya, I never got your response if you were coming to the wedding and we need our numbers. Are you coming. Oh, you didn't get your invitation?" LOL.

QueerFemme · July 2012

ugh.. don't B list.

futuremrandmrsrioux · July 2012

I've actually had quite a few people say they'd like to come even if it was last minute (their words, not mine)

Thanks, I'll figure out what to do.

triciaholden1987 · July 2012

I received an invite from a bride who told me I was "B listed". Had I not known, I might have thought about going. She actually did white out over the RSVP by date! As PP said, don't do it. At least now I know where I am "ranked" in her life. :-/

mcdoh006 · July 2012

If you've had people say they'd like to come, and don't mind if it's last minute. I would try to approach them individually about it. Some people will care and some people won't.

JoanE2012 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_b-list-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:9a7d573e-ccff-4efe-8bf0-ff6134e20143Post:98661697-a40e-457b-8cf1-942730ee9b4b">"B list" invites</a>:
[QUOTE](Not sure if this is the proper place to post this question.) As we are recieving invites, we have a few more no's than we anticipated so we need to send out some invites from our "b list". With the RSVP date rapidly approaching, <strong>how do we send out these invites?</strong> We don't want to include RSVP cards with a date that has already passed. Thank you!
Posted by futuremrandmrsrioux[/QUOTE]

You don't.

HobokensFury · July 2012

You don't

JoanE2012 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_b-list-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:9a7d573e-ccff-4efe-8bf0-ff6134e20143Post:d6533a7c-3742-4c32-98cc-852721594fd5">Re: "B list" invites</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I've actually had quite a few people say they'd like to come even if it was last minute</strong> (their words, not mine) Thanks, I'll figure out what to do.
Posted by futuremrandmrsrioux[/QUOTE]

Really? That just screams low self esteem or desperation or something.

If I'm not important enough to you to be invited the first go around, I don't want to be invited last minute as sloppy seconds.

QueerFemme · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_b-list-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:9a7d573e-ccff-4efe-8bf0-ff6134e20143Post:d6533a7c-3742-4c32-98cc-852721594fd5">Re: "B list" invites</a>:
[QUOTE]I've actually had quite a few people say they'd like to come even if it was last minute (their words, not mine) Thanks, I'll figure out what to do.
Posted by futuremrandmrsrioux[/QUOTE]

It doesn't matter if they say this. You say "our guest list is limited. I hope you understand". You don't make people feel like shitttt when they get a B-list invite. And how do you determine which of the B' list gets invited? Invite who you can afford to host in the first round and accept the RSVPs. Don't invite a second round of people.

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