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Haters

pawdappawdap
100 Comments
in African American Weddings
I have a situation where I called my friend 2wks ago and she told me that swhe got engaged on Christmas.  I was kind of shocked considering she is in the man hater club".  She made it a point to tell me that it was going to be at a courthouse because she wasn't trying to have a extravagant wedding.  Why is that when people are broke they make this comment knowing damn well if they could afford it they would have a wedding.  My wedding is ony 50 people that is not big at all.  She's the second friend that said that.  Do you think your friends think that your wedding is all about status?  That is what my fiancee said.  I told him no matter what people close to and in life are going to hate. 
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Re: Haters

  • KooKoo4QuincyKooKoo4Quincy member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I haven't experienced that yet...but I know there are people out there who does HATE for whatever reason. Most of the time because of pure jealousy!! I say do you and don't worry about what your friend think. It's your day and if they choose to go to the courthouse, so be it. Look at the bright side, at least you don't have to spend extra money participating in their wedding! 
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  • Ladysun083Ladysun083
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I don't think its hate? Just their opinion, like you said if they could do the wedding that they could afford they would.  Just smile and be supportive of her decision.Laughing
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  • MIABRIDENTAMPAMIABRIDENTAMPA
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Mama said if you dont have haters, you not doing something right. Haters will be here until the end of time. During this time in our lives, it really shows us, who envies our situations....
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  • sdstephens2010sdstephens2010
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I wouldn't say that its hate, because people feel differently about spending tons of money for one day. Some see it as "it only happens once, so lets go big" and some see it as "we don't want to go into a marriage with debt, since finances is the #1 reason for divorce" and some are just flat out CHEAP!

    I wouldn't get too upset about it. At the end of the day, it's your wedding and it'll be as special as you make it. People will always have something to say...whether it's big or small.
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  • Crook251Crook251 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm really sorry that your friend is throwing awakard comments at you! The whole year of planning I got comments like that. Now the comments have turned into actions. I just got married in December and I've heard everything from one of my girls and her mother telling everyone at my reception that they were going to "TOP my wedding". LOL! Another one made the commet that she didn't want to be nobodys Cinderella and it that was so kidish!(That was my theme) Bottom line, I told them I did the things in my wedding because I can and most importanlty because I wanted to, and that was the only satification I need. People are going talk and make silly comments, just ingore it and keep doing YOU!
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  • mandikaykaymandikaykay
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Life is too short to concern yourself with what other people think about what you are doing.  So my take is, who cares?  People will always make judgements about what you are doing, it's natural, as PP said it's their opinion.  Let it be simply that, an opinion.  You chose the wedding you wanted.  And just because a wedding may look costly, doesn't necessarily mean that is so, as will be the case with mine.  So when people say little things like my wedding is "huge" and "fancy" I just give them the side eye and keep it moving.  Besides, it's really not their business or problem if they are not contributing financially to the cause....right?
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  • BlutifulScorpionBlutifulScorpion
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I've had three different people tell me to go to the courthouse. One is in the middle of a divorce. The second just finalized her divorce. The last one is on her second marriage and is tight with money so doesn't see the point in spending anything that has a name brand, or even a price tag at all. All three have suggested the courthouse for different reasons: money, less stress, and convenience.

    By now I'm sure you see that EVERYONE has an opinion about what YOU should do for YOUR wedding! This is when you learn a grace of smiling and saying, "Oh okay... Thank you" and nodding your head. LOL Like pp mentioned, do what you and FI want to do to make your dream wedding come to life.
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  • brobin01brobin01
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I always say to each his own. You could have very well said back to her "Well I think going to a courthouse is tacky", but you didn't. You stayed classy about the situation. Weddings are not about status at all. Some of the riches people have the smallest weddings. I guess it just depends on the situation. I am having a big wedding 220 guests, but that is because both my fiance and I are EXTREMLY close with our families. Not to mention, we both come from big families. We both got chewed out when we said we were going to Jamaica to get married on a beach. LOL But everything is not for everyone. People will hate and some will congratulate. I keep it moving with the people that are positive.
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