To Assign Seats at Reception or Not to Assign Seats at Reception?!?! What are you doing/What did you

mpzimmer · July 2010

Hey ladies (and gents!)!
I am an OOT bride, and all of our guests are from OOT as well (mainly Houston). I am trying to decide on escort cards and assigning seats at the reception. My coordinator suggested that it may make people hesitate to get up and dance. However, most of the weddings I have attended have had assigned seats. I kind of find it as a relief to have assigned seats, as I don't have to play "find a seat" and can focus on what's happening! However, my sweet FMIL (from Baton Rouge) said that she has never been to a wedding with assigned seats. Maybe this is a regional thing?

What are your thoughts? What are you gals (and guys) doing? Any married knotties with advice? Did assigning seats "stifle" the flow of the party?

Thank you! Good luck planning!

eamcardle · July 2010

We had assigned seats for our wedding in March, but I am from NY and my husband is from Ohio. It's totally regional. Our guests would have been very, very confused to not have an assigned seat or possibly no seat. I also had 2 very pregnant bridesmaids! So it wasn't an option.

Most weddings I've been to down here are reception style. There are no seating cards, and not necessarily enough seats for everyone (which won't bother people from New Orleans). So your friend is correct, but it doesn't mean you have to do the same.

Having assigned seating for everyone at my wedding in NO WAY hampered dancing. People will always dance if the music is good and they like to dance. We had a buffet dinner and everyone ate for the first 30 minutes or later on in the night, but then the dance floor was never empty. If people occasionally sat down, it was not noticeable.

meredithcheek · July 2010

Hi there -

Most New Orleans weddings do not have assigned seats. Many of the venues will tell you they cannot accommadate seating for every guest (or charge you extra if you want one seat per guest). We are having ~200 guests so maybe this is possible for a smaller wedding.

My future in laws are from California where assigned seats is the norm. They are worried their guests will have no where to sit. Our venue recommended we have seating for 30-40% of our guests so we are upping that to 60% to make my future in-laws more comfortable.

I'm from New Orleans so I'm quite comfortable w/ not having assigned seats. Alll the non-New Orleans style weddings I've been to where assigned seats are the norm...seem to take a while to get the party started and always create awkward table conversation. Not assigning seats is DEFINITELY a regional thing.

Good luck, it was a definite hurdle for us trying to blend two different styles.

Kate504 · July 2010

Ive never been to a wedding in NOLA where there were assigned seating or even enough seating for everyone, but I've also never been to one with a formal sit down dinner either. So i guess it would all depend.

My cousin had tables set aside close to the dance floor and food area for the wedding party, her/his immediate family and a table for a special group of OOT guests labeled 'Boston Fans' b/c her and her husband stayed in Boston for a few years before they got married. I've never sat down an entire wedding and I think most people mingle with other guests, dance and don't stay in the same seat all night anyway.I think the main people that I've seen sit at weddings are older grandparents, but i don't want to generalize.

My friend's sister in Mississippi had a wedding with assigned seating, so it is not unheard of down here so i'm sure you would not be the first or the last to have assigned seating.

In the end it is your wedding and up to you.

[Deleted User] · July 2010

I have never been to a Louisiana wedding with assigned seating, and most of them had buffet style dinners. On the other hand, almost every non-Louisiana wedding I've attended had assigned seating whether or not they had a buffet. I have not noticed any impact on the amount of dancing either way - I have been to some amazing parties with loads of dancing at both types of events! Your coordinator might be reluctant because it is extra work to set all of that up (ours tried to talk me out of it).

My fiance, his family and most of our friends are not from the area, so we are having a seated dinner rather than a buffet, and we are doing both escort cards and place cards. It's what most of our guests will expect, and my family and local friends won't mind either way.

TurWalk · July 2010

I also have never been to a wedding in New Orleans with assigned seating. I've been to weddings in other parts of the country where there was assigned seating or at least enough seating for all guests.

We're doing it traditional New Orleans style with no assigned seating and enough seats for about 60% of the guests. We'll also have additional seating in the courtyard as well. Our reception is not in one single room or ballroom, so I think this way will flow better. The majority of my guests are from OOT and I was going to go the seated route, but my family was so excited to NOT have assigned seating.

Kate504 · July 2010

read this it may help:

http://nolabridetobe.com/

w0246173 · July 2010

I definitely think this is a regional thing. My brother and sister both got married in Indiana. They each assigned specific seats for their guests. In Louisiana, this isn’t as popular.

If you are having a formal seated dinner and your guests have a choice of entrée, then you will have to assign each guest a seat. You need your catering staff to know which entrée goes where.

If you are having a buffet, food stations, cocktails, or hand passed hors d’oeuvres; assigning seats isn’t as necessary since everyone will be able to select their entrée on the spot.

I’m not assigning tables or seats. I don't even think there is enough seats for all of my guests to sit down at one time. I’m having my reception at Southern Oaks where they do hand passed hor d’oeuvres and entrées. I feel escort cards are way too formal for this style of wedding, but that’s me.

The most important thing, do what YOU want to do! And of course, make sure your reception place can accomodate a seated meal if you choose to do that.

Good luck!

chigirl2010 · July 2010

For those OOT brides who did this, how did your guests react? Mass confusion?

Asheia · July 2010

I've never understood assigned seating at a wedding. It just adds extra stress to the planning. Most of your guests are adults or accompanied by an adult. Let them pick their own seat. There is no reason that picking your own seat or being told where to sit would make someone that WANTS to dance hesitate to do so.

Skip assigned seating and gain peace of mind.

mpzimmer · July 2010

Thanks everyone for their input! It is hard when it is a NOLA wedding with Texas (or any other state ;-) ) guests who expect assigned seats!

chigirl2010- what are you guys going to do? I hope you had a great trip to NOLA this weekend!

To Assign Seats at Reception or Not to Assign Seats at Reception?!?! What are you doing/What did you

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