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Wedding Reception Forum
RECEPTION... to eat or not to eat??
Ok, sooo I am not a catered food fan. I dont want to pay for food and people not show or people show and they didnt rsvp. I would much rather do the bare minimum for the reception. BUT, due to the venue time slots my wedding will be at 6. Would it be awful to not have a meal?
Thanks!
Thanks!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: RECEPTION... to eat or not to eat??
[QUOTE]Ok, sooo I am not a catered food fan. I dont want to pay for food and people not show or people show and they didnt rsvp. I would much rather do the bare minimum for the reception. BUT, due to the venue time slots my wedding will be at 6. Would it be awful to not have a meal? Thanks!
Posted by bldenton06[/QUOTE]
yes, you need to serve a meal. If your wedding is at 6, people are leaving their homes between 4:30 and 5:00 to get to your wedding a few minutes early and won't have time to eat. You need to serve either a full meal or enough heavy appetizers to be considered a meal.
I'm not sure what type of catered food you don't like, but there are tons of options. You could do pasta, salads and bread. Or BBQ food, Mexican food, or even sandwiches and heavy sides (pasta, potato salads, etc.). If you are going to do sandwiches, I'd go really heavy on the sides, since its dinner and not lunch time ceremony).
All I'm saying is, it doesn't have to be a plated baked chicken or something. There are a lot of different ideas you can come up with without making your guests go hungry.
Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:
http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/
http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html
http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/
Even if it's not meal time you should have something to nibble on.
HOWEVER..............
I think the most important question that nobody asked is..How do you really feel about hosting a wedding? Are you sure that is what you really want or are you feeling pressured to host something bigger than you really want with people you don't want there? If you aren't comfortable with the whole evening type of wedding, there is a million different options to still have a beautiful event.......Don't host something out of obligation if you aren' t comfotable...Also, if you can't afford food, host a morning or afternoon wedding with invitation somehow sending out the vibe that it will be casual..Totally fine, but give the guest a heads up that you will just doing it with your own fun twist
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[QUOTE]And btw, the people saying you NEED to do anything aren't right. You don't NEED to do anything. But as I said before, people will expect certain things, especially right at 6pm. Again, if you aren't going to feed them at all, you should try to set expectations in the invitations so the guests aren't grumpy and hungary! Remember, people have some set expectations and assumptions and won't be pleased with your choices. <strong>That's ok, it's your day.</strong>
Posted by martind1[/QUOTE]
This is such bad advice, esp. the bolded. It stops being all about YOU when you invite guests to the wedding. As a host, you need to be concerned with your guest's comfort. If you don't give a crap about your guests' comfort, then don't invite anybody and THEN you can do what you want.
If you are hosting a reception at a meal time, yes, you NEED to have a meal or enough heavy appetizers that they would equal a meal. That is being a proper host. Not feeding them at all is not an option, and putting on the invitation that you aren't feeding them is really rude. So these people, who are supposedly your nearest and dearest, are going to come see you get married, possibly travel to get there, most likely bring you a gift, and you're just going to say, 'Sorry, not feeding you. It's my day!" Ooook.. Good luck with that then.
[QUOTE]If you are hosting a reception at a meal time, yes, you NEED to have a meal or enough heavy appetizers that they would equal a meal. <div>Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]
</div><div>I routinely eat lunch at 2pm and dinner at 8pm. Should I expect all weddings to cater to me?</div><div>I really feel you are poisoning these message boards with your boarish behavior and demands. People are coming here looking for help and you continue to scold them.</div><div>
</div><div>Please remain friendly and offer helpful advice. Not condescending demands based solely on your views about how weddings should be.</div>
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: RECEPTION... to eat or not to eat?? : I routinely eat lunch at 2pm and dinner at 8pm. Should I expect all weddings to cater to me?<strong> I really feel you are <u>poisoning</u> these message boards with your boarish behavior and demands.</strong> People are coming here looking for help and <strong>you continue to scold them</strong>. Please remain friendly and offer helpful advice. Not condescending demands based solely on your views about how weddings should be.
Posted by martind1[/QUOTE]
<div>Don't be such a drama llama. Honestly.
<div>
</div><div>You may not eat until later in the afternoon or evening for your lunches and dinners, but MOST people eat dinner between 5:00-7:00 PM. And you go off of what most people do. Of course, you can always choose to disregard that and do your own thing, but guests will likely leave if they are not fed a meal during a meal-time reception because they will be hungry for a meal. If you don't want to have to worry about serving a meal, don't have a reception during meal-time hours and you're good.</div></div>
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: RECEPTION... to eat or not to eat?? : Don't be such a drama llama. Honestly. You may not eat until later in the afternoon or evening for your lunches and dinners, but MOST people eat dinner between 5:00-7:00 PM. And you go off of what most people do. Of course, you can always choose to disregard that and do your own thing, but guests will likely leave if they are not fed a meal during a meal-time reception because they will be hungry for a meal. If you don't want to have to worry about serving a meal, don't have a reception during meal-time hours and you're good.
Posted by angelsong21[/QUOTE]
I was mostly exaggerating to prove a point. When is a reception NOT in meal time hours? A two hour gap between 2 and 4? After 8?<div>
</div><div>Now I generally agree that if you're having a party there should be food, that's just the fat kid in me talking. However if you have a line with "join us for drinks and dancing" or something along those lines you can easily shape the expectations. Sure maybe it'd be better if you moved the start time to 7pm to avoid this but in the end we are all so limited with these venues our hands are tied.</div>
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: RECEPTION... to eat or not to eat?? : I routinely eat lunch at 2pm and dinner at 8pm. Should I expect all weddings to cater to me? I really feel you are poisoning these message boards with your boarish behavior and demands. People are coming here looking for help and you continue to scold them. <strong>Please remain friendly and offer helpful advice. Not condescending demands based solely on your views about how weddings should be.</strong>
Posted by martind1[/QUOTE]
I guess the word etiquette means nothing to you.
[QUOTE]The venue is important when trying to figure out the food. Some places make you use them which can be crazy expensive while others let you do what you want. If you can get away with it I say be untraditional &<strong> <u>have a potluck</u></strong> or just have snacks. It all depends on you, your budget, & your reception. If the whole thing is short & to the point, say an hour or two from start to finish, people can eat after they leave. You aren't going to please everyeone no matter what you do, <strong><u>so you might as well please yourself</u></strong>!
Posted by aday8[/QUOTE]
The bolded and underlined parts of this post are reallllly bad advice. Of course, you won't please everyone. Maybe someone has a random food allergy you didn't know about... maybe someone had their heart set on chocolate cake, and you served red velvet. BUT, those things are not the same as not properly hosting your guests.
Potlucks are not appropriate for a wedding reception. the reception is a thank you to your guests for coming to witness your wedding ceremony. Asking them to cook and provide their own food is a logistical nightmare and very rude. Haven't you ever gone to a potluck where there are 20 bags of potato chips and three pasta salads and not much else? And when someone with a main dish is running late? Potlucks rarely work out perfectly for a regular family gathering, they shouldn't be considered for a major event like a wedding!
As far as pleasing yourself. Yes, of course, please yourself and stay within your budget. If that means hosting a cake and punch reception only, then that's fine. But, you can't do a cake and punch reception if your wedding start time is 6pm. People will likely start getting ready around 4pm or earlier to leave their home by 4:30 or 5:00, depending on the distance to the wedding. When exactly do you expect people to eat before they attend a 6pm ceremony? As soon as you invite other people to share in your day, you have to worry about pleasing them also... not just yourself.
Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:
http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/
http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html
http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/
OP - you have to serve food. Ingore advice that says "It's your wedding, you can do what you want!!!!" (that would be martin) or "If you don't want a reception, don't have one!!!!" (no, trinity... no.)
Receptions are to thank you guests for witnessing your ceremony. As host, you are responsible for appropriate food, drink and entertainment. Part of serving food is acknowledging the time of day. 6pm? People want dinner.
If you don't want to serve dinner and would rather do cake or light appetizers, move your ceremony time to 8pm and be clear on the invitations what will be served. Martin, who usually eats at 8pm, will know that dinner will not be served, and the rest will have more time before the event to get a meal. It's just courteous.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: RECEPTION... to eat or not to eat?? : I routinely eat lunch at 2pm and dinner at 8pm. Should I expect all weddings to cater to me? I really feel you are poisoning these message boards with your boarish behavior and demands. People are coming here looking for help and you continue to scold them. Please remain friendly and offer helpful advice. Not condescending demands based solely on your views about how weddings should be.
Posted by martind1[/QUOTE]
Haha you are so melo-dramatic and still give bad advice. If me following proper etiquette and caring about my guests makes me boarish or condescending, then I would love to be described as those two things.
Pretty much every single other poster here, including one who has been to a wedding with no meal, have explained why you need to give a full meal at what is a normal meal time. If you choose to eat dinner at an odd time, that is you. I doubt you'd be offended if they offered food and you didn't want it, but people will sure be ticked if they are starving at a normal meal time and no food is available.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: RECEPTION... to eat or not to eat?? : I routinely eat lunch at 2pm and dinner at 8pm. Should I expect all weddings to cater to me? I really feel you are poisoning these message boards with your boarish behavior and demands. People are coming here looking for help and you continue to scold them. Please remain friendly and offer helpful advice. Not condescending demands based solely on your views about how weddings should be.
Posted by martind1[/QUOTE]
This is as far as I've gotten, but what? You do need to feed your guests a meal at meal time. WTF doesn't make sense about that. My ceremony was at 6:30, cocktail hour from 7-8 and then dinner was served. I'm so confused how your logic even makes sense to you?
"You gotta still feed the people! Any wedding without enough food is going to be ruined!"
So why did the bride in the other thread need to have enough food to feed people, but this bride doesn't?
[QUOTE]Martind1, you posted this in another thread on this board about having enough seats for people (which you gave bad advice on also). "You gotta still feed the people! Any wedding without enough food is going to be ruined!" So why did the bride in the other thread need to have enough food to feed people, but this bride doesn't?
Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]
Well... this confirms my theories. Martin's a troll. ::sigh::
why on earth would you invite people during dinner time to your reception (which is for the guests to begin iwth) and expect them to stay for hours and not feed them? what makes you think that this would be ok? it's not.
Serving only appetizers or desserts is fine, if it's an appropriate time of day to be only serving that. So either push everything back so it starts at 8pm, or move everything up to happen at like 2pm. This way, people have time to get dinner on their own before or after your reception.