I am having a hard time trying to decide whether or not to include my FI's brother's GF in my wedding party. I am hoping to make a decision by the end of the summer so as to ask her early enough to not make it seem like an afterthought (if I'm going to ask!).
Here is the background. The two of them having been dating longer than my fiance and I have. They have just decided that they do not want to get married. But in my mind they are in an extremely committed and long-term relationship. She and I used to be very close and a year or so ago, I wouldn't think twice about including her in the wedding party, but she and my FIs brother have moved about an hour away and we dont really see each other anymore. We don't really talk as much as we used to either. We talk about making plans, but nothing really happens. So, we're not very close anymore, but I do like her a lot. His family, on the other hand does not like her, so there is no pressure on their end to include her. They think she took my FIs brother "away from them."
I asked my FI if he thought she should be included and he said he didn't care and I should do what I want. I know it is ultimately my decision, but I wonder if not including her would cause trouble between my FI and his brother, since it may seem like she's being excluded rather than just not included. I dont want to hurt her feelings either or strain our relationship further.
Like I said, I don't care either way. I wouldn't be pushing someone I'd prefer to have out in favor of her. I think she's a fun girl and I like her. We're just not close in the way members of a person's wedding party usually are.
Anyone dealt with a similar situation before?