Unplugged Wedding - Thoughts?

Ollie08 · June 2011

http://offbeatbride.com/2011/06/unplugged-wedding a photographer friend of mine shared this article and I thought I'd share it here.

What are your thoughts about having an unplugged wedding?

[Deleted User] · June 2011

I think it's ridiculous that anyone would have to suggest an unplugged wedding. Most people are respectful enough not to need to be asked. If they are not, than they probably wouldn't follow the "unplug" request anyway. Sometimes I think wedding requests go too far. It is your day, but that doesn't mean you get to tell people what to do or how to behave. If it is really going to bother you then have a smaller, more intimate wedding or just go to the JOP.

marleylikeair · June 2011

Ehh, ideally, this would be nice, but I think it's kind of rude to lecture your guests on how to behave. Hopefully, they'll be generally respectful. How "in-the-moment" they are is up to them.

Ollie08 · June 2011

I can see it from both sides. I agree that requests get out of hand, but I also think that technology is starting to consume people. We actually have a rule in our house that once BF and I are home and we know the kids are alright, cell phones are put on silent and left in the bedroom. It has helped us get back to spending time with each other and living in the moment like the article suggests.

I think society as a whole needs to unplug a little bit.

AudgiePodge · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_unplugged-wedding-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:299220a9-da6a-447f-9051-35737ebefad6Post:f17b699e-7368-4b3b-b907-c6bcf7180298">Re: Unplugged Wedding - Thoughts?</a>:
[QUOTE]Ehh, ideally, this would be nice, but I think it's kind of rude to lecture your guests on how to behave. Hopefully, they'll be generally respectful. How "in-the-moment" they are is up to them.
Posted by marleylikeair[/QUOTE]

<div>Yup.</div>

marleylikeair · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_unplugged-wedding-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:299220a9-da6a-447f-9051-35737ebefad6Post:aa8cda20-295a-45db-8570-0cfede981e30">Re: Unplugged Wedding - Thoughts?</a>:
[QUOTE]I can see it from both sides. I agree that requests get out of hand, but I also think that technology is starting to consume people. We actually have a rule in our house that <strong>once BF and I are home and we know the kids are alright, cell phones are put on silent and left in the bedroom. It has helped us get back to spending time with each other and living in the moment like the article suggests. I think society as a whole needs to unplug a little bit.</strong>
Posted by Ollie08[/QUOTE]

This is nice! Maybe BF and I should try to at least do this one night a week. :)

It's true--we are way too plugged in. (She said, typing on a computer.)

Sometimes, especially with how much I've grown to love being on NEY, I feel like this:

<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/1/10/414b100f-c87b-4955-ba20-9c71c4be123d.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', '414b100f-c87b-4955-ba20-9c71c4be123d', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));" class="PhotoLink"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/1/10/414b100f-c87b-4955-ba20-9c71c4be123d.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>

csousa1 · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_unplugged-wedding-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:299220a9-da6a-447f-9051-35737ebefad6Post:f17b699e-7368-4b3b-b907-c6bcf7180298">Re: Unplugged Wedding - Thoughts?</a>:
[QUOTE]Ehh, ideally, this would be nice, but I think it's kind of rude to lecture your guests on how to behave. Hopefully, they'll be generally respectful. How "in-the-moment" they are is up to them.
Posted by marleylikeair[/QUOTE]

Verbatim.

[Deleted User] · June 2011

I agree Ollie, as a society we are too plugged in. However, I realize that is my personal opinion and may not be everyone else's. Although I can understand why it may frustrate couples at the alter, I fail to see how it is any different than telling people what to wear or regulating who they are able to bring as their +1. Guests are exactly that...GUESTS. If they are not close enough to the bride and groom to want to see the wedding, than why were they invited in the first place?

marleylikeair · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_unplugged-wedding-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:299220a9-da6a-447f-9051-35737ebefad6Post:9eefa39e-e64c-4a6d-900b-a06623bd9b95">Re: Unplugged Wedding - Thoughts?</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree Ollie, as a society we are too plugged in. However, I realize that is my personal opinion and may not be everyone else's. Although I can understand why it may frustrate couples at the alter, <strong>I fail to see how it is any different than telling people what to wear or regulating who they are able to bring as their +1. Guests are exactly that...GUESTS. If they are not close enough to the bride and groom to want to see the wedding, than why were they invited in the first place?</strong>
Posted by allusive007[/QUOTE]

Totally agree, allusive! You totally read my mind and expanded on what I was thinking. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" />

Ollie08 · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_unplugged-wedding-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:299220a9-da6a-447f-9051-35737ebefad6Post:9eefa39e-e64c-4a6d-900b-a06623bd9b95">Re: Unplugged Wedding - Thoughts?</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree Ollie, as a society we are too plugged in. However, I realize that is my personal opinion and may not be everyone else's. Although I can understand why it may frustrate couples at the alter, I fail to see how it is any different than telling people what to wear or regulating who they are able to bring as their +1. Guests are exactly that...GUESTS. <strong>If they are not close enough to the bride and groom to want to see the wedding, than why were they invited in the first place? </strong>
Posted by allusive007[/QUOTE]

This is a very good point.

Just for the record, I was in no way endorsing the idea of forcing guests to drop their cameras and cell phones in a bag before they could take their seats, it really just got me thinking about how things have changed over the years.

marley - love that pic lol

Hazel_B · June 2011

I can definitely understand the concept of an unplugged wedding, but I don't know how possible it is. People don't unplug on airplanes these days, so i can't see them making an exception for someone's wedding.

That being said, I also don't fully understand why people find the need to take constant pictures during a wedding ceremony. I'm guilty of taking pictures at ceremonies, but I don't think I ever really go back and look at them. After the ceremony by all means, but during I think is a little much.

However, I'm open to the idea of cameras at the ceremony (only because good luck trying to stop it), but I don't want a cell ringing or hearing it vibrate.

[Deleted User] · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_unplugged-wedding-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:299220a9-da6a-447f-9051-35737ebefad6Post:15855949-fb97-4a3d-bb16-94739b694a59">Re: Unplugged Wedding - Thoughts?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unplugged Wedding - Thoughts? : This is a very good point. <strong>Just for the record, I was in no way endorsing the idea of forcing guests to drop their cameras and cell phones in a bag before they could take their seats</strong>, it really just got me thinking about how things have changed over the years. marley - love that pic lol
Posted by Ollie08[/QUOTE]

I didn't think you were Ollie! Sorry if my response sounded a bit snarky...it wasn't intended to be. I just meant I agree with you about us being too plugged in these days...

Sparrow87 · June 2011

I hope I have better things on my mind while I'm standing at the altar than what my guests are up to.

Although I do agree that some people need to unplug a little more during their everyday lives.

lmwilber · June 2011

I can see both sides, but I think that politely requesting that guests to keep cell phones away and on silent during the ceremony is ok. I just feel like hey, we invited you to share this share this really special moment with us, so please stop tweeting updates about it and actual be present and enjoy this moment. If I wanted a twitter feed for my wedding I would hire someone for that. As far as cameras go, that might be pushing it, but if I went to a wedding where a couple asked that no pics be taken during the ceremony, I don't think that I would be offended.

marleylikeair · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_unplugged-wedding-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:299220a9-da6a-447f-9051-35737ebefad6Post:e9c38619-d74d-4f6c-ad1e-803fb8a84efe">Re: Unplugged Wedding - Thoughts?</a>:
[QUOTE]I can see both sides, but I think that politely requesting that guests to keep cell phones away and on silent during the ceremony is ok. I just feel like hey, we invited you to share this share this really special moment with us, so please stop tweeting updates about it and actual be present and enjoy this moment. If I wanted a twitter feed for my wedding I would hire someone for that. As far as cameras go, that might be pushing it, but if I went to a wedding where a couple asked that no pics be taken during the ceremony, I don't think that I would be offended.
Posted by lmwilber[/QUOTE]

I can see this, too. I'm not sure I would want to make any kind of actual announcement ahead of time; it's almost like saying "hey, we don't trust you to be polite, even at a wedding." But I do think that if anyone was truly being disruptive or rude, it would be fine for someone to quietly ask them to stop.

lmwilber · June 2011

I think that a little note on the back of the program would be ok "X and Y invite you to be in the moment with them, and kindly request that all cell phones be silenced" or something equally as polite, but an announcement by the officiate, or large signs posted is totally pushing it.

marleylikeair · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_unplugged-wedding-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:299220a9-da6a-447f-9051-35737ebefad6Post:0f58e728-1d06-48cb-99b2-3233487728bb">Re: Unplugged Wedding - Thoughts?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think that a little note on the back of the program would be ok "X and Y invite you to be in the moment with them, and kindly request that all cell phones be silenced" or something equally as polite, but an announcement by the officiate, or large signs posted is totally pushing it.
Posted by lmwilber[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I hear that. Makes sense.

</div>

PaigeMcC · June 2011

I love that people have cameras at weddings...you get more perspective than just the photogs! As for cell phones/ipods/other devices, I think that adults should know those are innappropriate at a wedding ceremony/any special occasion and act accordingly. You can't dictate how your guests behave but hopefully they are there to experience your wedding and not text.

Peaseblossom55 · June 2011

I feel we are all too attached to our phone, iphones, ect, and sometimes miss what is around us because we are too plugged in. If a ceremony were in a church, temple ect I would hope they would respect the rules if any set up by the place of worship. I assume the people invited to your wedding are guests and you want them there to share the special day and to take pictures. I would want them to do that. If we are speaking of being plugged in and texting playing games on an iphone or something in that sense I would be more likely to agree with the unplugged rule.

musikbx · June 2011

I can really see the bride's perspective in this article, I think because of our tendency to want to "capture" everything, we can end up experiencing many of our most special moments through the lens of a camera. I sometimes feel like you're not really experiencing a sunset if you are busy taking pictures of it. On the other hand, I guess it really depends on the individual's idea of "experiencing".

FI takes this to extremes, he never brings a camera when he travels. He actually doesn't own a camera. I try to balance the two: I like to capture images of something really beautiful or special, but I always try to stop and enjoy it in that moment. Truthfully speaking, I think there are a lot of people that just snap a picture and move on.

That being said, this is an ideological notion that FI and I uphold for ourselves. It's not something that we can or should force on anyone else. In my eyes, it's similar to people forcing their own political, religious ethical agendas on others. As long as the bride and the groom are "in the moment" then that's all that should really matter. In reality, their guests' choice to adhere to their "unplugged" rule or not shouldn't make a difference to the bride and groom. (My guess is that this task will prove to be impossible, anyways.)

One last thing, and then I'll step off of my soapbox. I notice that this article came from Offbeatbride.com. I have expressed many times my feelings on the offbeat bride forum on the knot. If you are making a decision that might negatively affect your guests, that is rude... not offbeat. Have you made the decision to wear a colored dress, to walk down the aisle to rock music or to have a video game theme? Those are aesthetic choices that are considered to be "non-traditional" to most, and therefore offbeat. Rudeness, on the other hand, does not an offbeat bride make.

OceanTide365 · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_unplugged-wedding-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:299220a9-da6a-447f-9051-35737ebefad6Post:4000ed70-0b3a-4082-86e6-d69f2a344e8a">Re: Unplugged Wedding - Thoughts?</a>:
[QUOTE]I love that people have cameras at weddings...you get more perspective than just the photogs! As for cell phones/ipods/other devices, I think that adults should know those are innappropriate at a wedding ceremony/any special occasion and act accordingly. You can't dictate how your guests behave but hopefully they are there to experience your wedding and not text.
Posted by PaigeMcC[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Paige pretty much took the words right out of my mouth! </div><div>
</div><div>Technology these days is amazing, but it can get out of hand at times. Just today at work- I was sitting down with a patient getting his full medical history and in the middle of answering one of my questions, he pulls out his cell phone and checks his Voicemail- and i'm sitting there most likely with this dumbfounded look on my face thinking -- Really??? is this really happening?</div><div>
</div><div>
</div><div>- Most people are not that rude, and hopefully would realize that when at a wedding or other special function that they could be very distracting, but you never know.</div><div>
</div><div>

</div>

peekaboo2011 · June 2011

*makes mental note of program idea*

Honestly, I think it's going too far to make a public announcement (like on your invites or whatever, the program is a good idea...) But, really, if you aren't respectful enough to be "in the moment" during the ceremony, I don't feel like you should be there. It's a courtesy thing, and well, these people probably paid mad bucks for you to come and eat and drink with them. The least you can do is turn your cell phone off or on silent.

Goldlie11 · June 2011

I don't see anything wrong with politely asking that guests refrain from taking photos during the ceremony. I know that a lot of photographers and videographers can find overzealous guests distracting.

bethsmiles · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_unplugged-wedding-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:299220a9-da6a-447f-9051-35737ebefad6Post:4000ed70-0b3a-4082-86e6-d69f2a344e8a">Re: Unplugged Wedding - Thoughts?</a>:
[QUOTE]I love that people have cameras at weddings...you get more perspective than just the photogs! As for cell phones/ipods/other devices, I think that adults should know those are innappropriate at a wedding ceremony/any special occasion and act accordingly. You can't dictate how your guests behave but hopefully they are there to experience your wedding and not text.
Posted by PaigeMcC[/QUOTE]

This is how I feel.

alysonmanley · June 2011

I asked my fiancee for this. Yes we are in a connected society but like everything else in a wedding, this is not your "normal" day. I think as long as it's not rude then it's your wedding and if you want that then you have a right to ask for them to turn off their electronics. We will have them off for the ceremony but after that, I don't really care. We will have been together 6 years by then and I would love people to be tuned in as much as we will be. It's personal prefence but I'm doing the same thing.

Unplugged Wedding - Thoughts?

Re: Unplugged Wedding - Thoughts?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards