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Plus 1 RSVP's

brittneywagnerbrittneywagner member
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Is there a non-rude way to put on the invites that Plus 1's are not ok....we are on a very tight budget and can't afford to feed all of the people that we would like to have invited, but are not able to.  So the fear I have now is when I send the invites to my family that the older children will want to bring a guest or anybody really that wants to bring a guest....how can I stop it?

Also, my grandma is telling me I have to invite her friend couple...I dont like them and my dad doesn't like them either...WHAT DO I DO?
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Re: Plus 1 RSVP's

  • JanoBean75JanoBean75
    1000 Comments
    1. Address the invitation to only the people you are invited.

    Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

    do not add "and family" if you're only inviting Mr. and Mrs. Smith. If they reply with their kids, or another guest, call them and politely inform them that you cannot accommodate extra guests due to budget/venue capacity/whatever.

    2. Don't invite them unless Grandma is paying.
    9.17.2010
    planning

    image
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Ditto Jano.

    Invite your guests specifically by name.  Don't include anything ambiguous like 'and family' or 'and guest'.  If you want to go a step further, write out the response cards so that those invited just check __accepts or __declines next to the name you filled in.

    When it comes to Grandma, unless she's paying, say, "Unfortunately that isn't in the budget." and don't bring it up again.

    One word of advice though: If you exclude the SOs of your guests then when you are doing is quite rude.  So while you don't have to offer the option to your guests of bringing random dates, you DO need to invite couples as a social unit.


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  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Ditto Jano.

    Put the names of the people who are invited on the envelope.  If people RSVP with extras, you have to call and set them straight.

    Do remember that you have invite social units (ex. married/engageed couples).  But, your 18 year old cousin's flavor of the week?  Not necessary to invite.

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  • GreenPepperBurgerGreenPepperBurger
    2500 Comments
    First of all, only hit the post button once.

    Second of all, just address the invite to only those who are invited. If people RSVP for those not invited, just call them and explain to them that because of budget restrictions, only those on the envelope are invited.

    If your grandmother wants to invite people, she can pay for them.
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  • KnittibellKnittibell
    1000 Comments
    edited June 2010
    When I got married we were limited to 60 people because that's all the room would hold (we got married in a castle in the UK), so we had to start making cuts. If someone has a long term S/O you HAVE to invite them, but if they've been dating someone for a few weeks, you can invite only the friend. As others said, be very clear on the invitation as to who is invited by whose name is on the envelope.

    Also, if you're using inner envelopes this is the place to be very specific about exactly who is invited- if there are some older children invited they should be listed by age, with the eldest first. ie: Outer Envelope Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
    Inner Envelope: John and Marie
                          James, Susan, Alice


     Good luck!

    Oh, and if granny's not paying, she really has absolutely no say.
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  • blondie82784blondie82784
    100 Comments
    We did

    please respond by August XX, 2010

    We have reserved _______ seat (s) in your honour

    M_________________________

    __________ Accepts with pleasure

    __________ Declines with regret


    So far we haven't had anyone change the number we placed in the blank.. Let's just hope it stays that way cause I don't feel like being mean and calling them
    . Like previous answer I made sure I found out who is with who so I wouldn't be forgetting anyone
    RSVP: AUGUST 18,2010 image 256 Are Invited image 191 Are ready to Party!
    image 65 Will be missing out image 0 Where Are you? We can't wait Wedding Countdown Ticker
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  • brittneywagnerbrittneywagner member
    First Comment
    Blondie82784---the way your invited is worded is VERY CLEVER! I like that!

    Thanks everyone for their input!! I appreciate it!
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