Did you change your name? How can I change my name but still incorporate my current last name?

margoam · February 2010

Hi everyone! I'm new to the knot!

I was just curious as to why people kept or changed their last name. I think I want to change my name, but at the same time, I'd also like to keep my last name. Is there any way, besides hyphenating, to change my last name to my fiance's but still keep mine?

I've heard of some people making one of the names their middle name. Has anyone else ever heard of this?

I think hyphenating it may be a bit too much. I'm just not sure what to do so that I can incorporate both!

Any advice/help is much appreciated!

Thanks everyone!

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · February 2010

No one ever spells my last name right, but I'm still keeping it. I love it. It feels like a part of me. My parents chose my name carefully - all three of my names - and I love and respect that. I don't think dedicating myself to a union with another human being has ANY bearing on what my name is. I decided to keep my name long before getting engaged. And long before I met FI, even.

That said, you CAN make your maiden name your middle name. BUT in some states you have to go through a legal process and change your name in the courts, not just on your marriage license application.

Pirata13 · February 2010

I am dropping my middle name and making my maiden my middle name. Ours don't go well hyphenated, so that was the best option. FI & I both do a lot of theatre, and every show I've done has been under my maiden name. So for those purposes I will use Pirata MyLast HisLast, but for my regular job and every day things, I will be Pirata HisLast.

[Deleted User] · February 2010

I haven't decided what to do yet. I'll keep my name for awhile after the wedding, because I'm lazy and don't feel like going through the hassle. but I also have 2 fiction novels and they are publisehd under my maiden name, so any more published after that would be considered a pseudonym if I changed my name. Yet another hassle.

On the other hand, his last name is SO much easier to say and spell, there's pretty much no messing it up. Whereas people who have known me my entire life still can't get my last name right, and that really irritates me. I have a brother, so it's not like there is no one to carry on the family name. I don't know. MY FI says he doesn't care either way, though I think he'd secretly be pleased if I changed it.

SuMmErKuTiE · February 2010

I will be taking FI's last name and completely dropping my maiden name. I have a brother who can "carry on the family name" and I want to be associated with my husband and future children as a family unit.

My mom took my dad's last name but legally changed her middle name to her maiden name. So she is First Name Maiden Name New Last Name. I like that option a lot better than the hyphenated versions some woman choose to do. She's still known as Mrs. My Dad's Last Name but was able to hold on to her maiden name for sentimental and personal reasons. This wasn't an option to me because my middle name is my Nana's first name and she passed away from cancer when I was young and I always want to hold on to her name.

kristinanddan · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_did-change-name-can-change-name-but-still-incorporate-current-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:7f4c0428-1ac4-4d52-b2c4-8c760516ecc1Post:b604dd03-cf94-455d-bce2-1b222dbb921f">Re: Did you change your name? How can I change my name but still incorporate my current last name?</a>:
[QUOTE] That said, you CAN make your maiden name your middle name. BUT in some states you have to go through a legal process and change your name in the courts, not just on your marriage license application.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

This. I wanted to be Kristin Maiden HisLast, or even Kristin Middle Maiden HisLast (and have two middle names), but that is not an option in NY on the marriage license. I would have had to have done a legal name change after the fact, and I wasn't interested in the time or money that would take.

swtasa · February 2010

I really very strongly do not want to change my last name, I like it, it;s who I've always been and I'm often referred by friends as my last name

But I'm going to...

The reason being is my daughter's last name is extremely similar to the last night of the man I am marrying (like his last name is John and her last name is Johnson Note not actual last names) and because he will be adopting her after we get married there for taking his last name.

I'm extremely close to my family and I feel sad changing it. He did offer to take my last name, but unfortunately it is so much easier for a woman to take a mans last name then the other way around.

So yeah...

fnordess · February 2010

FI and I are both making my birth name our middle names and I am taking his last name. It's important to us that both of our names change in some way to signify the fact that we have become a legal unit.

MyNameIsNot · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_did-change-name-can-change-name-but-still-incorporate-current-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:7f4c0428-1ac4-4d52-b2c4-8c760516ecc1Post:b1c63342-1c2b-4507-b58a-ff25bdeee066">Re: Did you change your name? How can I change my name but still incorporate my current last name?</a>:
[QUOTE]I really very strongly do not want to change my last name, I like it, it;s who I've always been and I'm often referred by friends as my last name But I'm going to... Posted by swtasa[/QUOTE]

This makes me so sad.

jenn.daniel · February 2010

I'm taking his last name and dropping my maiden name. I'll be published under my maiden name, but I guess I can just include my maiden name on my CV.

soapfuz · February 2010

I plan to be Mrs. HisLastName socially, but Maiden Name for work purposes.
I am published under my maiden name, and you are right, you can include your maiden name on your CV.
However, my main reason for keeping my maiden name at work is for the privacy and safety of my FH and future family because of my profession and the people I work with. I currently try to keep my professional life and private life seperate. It's not that the people I work with are dangerous per se; it is that they have some problems with boundaries. And with it being easier to find even unlisted phone numbers these days (not sure how they found it, but it was a nice 3am wake up call) I view it as a means of protecting my future family.
Sadly, I would like to legally change my name to Mrs. HisLastName, but I do not know how to then maintain my licesure under my maiden name.

[Deleted User] · February 2010

I was hoping to have two middle names - my original and my maiden - and tack his last name on in the end. But somebody said that doesn't work in NY....how come?

aprovencher21 · February 2010

I'm not overly attached to my maiden name.....but I'm still kinda sad at the idea of changing my name. However, I know it means a lot to my fiance for me to take his name. I also want the sense of a family unit with all of us sharing a common last name. Things are going to be a bit complicated because I'll graduate with my MBA prior to getting married.....but when I graduate law school we'll be married and my name will be changed. I didn't want to take my maiden name as a middle name because my first and middle names are family names chosen by my parents for very specific reasons. My maiden name and middle name are simply too long to have both.....so I'm just going to drop my maiden name. I asked my parents if me keeping my maiden name mattered to them.....it doesn't so I felt better!!

Did you change your name? How can I change my name but still incorporate my current last name?

Re: Did you change your name? How can I change my name but still incorporate my current last name?

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