To Invite or not to invite...

kmurr010 · January 2010

I am getting married in 5 months and sent out my "Save the Date" magnets last July. However, as the wedding is getting closer, I have realized I don't want to invite some of the people I sent Save the Date's to. A few friends have suddenly dropped off the face of the Earth and one has become a former friend due to issues. Do I have to send invitations to people that I sent Save the Date's to, but I have not spoken to in almost 6 months?

polichik · January 2010

Send it. If you're not really friends, they probably won't come. But a STD is as good as an invitation.

dianenjnj · January 2010

invite who you want and call it a day.

sucrets4 · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-not-invite-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c9f79546-ae7e-4265-b628-9c8d8b135174Post:48e5b2f8-f99e-4dd0-baac-1bace0f6608f">Re: To Invite or not to invite...</a>:
[QUOTE]invite who you want and call it a day.
Posted by dianenjnj[/QUOTE]

wha?

Absolutely not. You are 100% wrong. Did you not read the rest of SANE advice in this post?

fwiw, not sending an invite will most likely end the friendship if not create VERY bad feelings because of your rudeness. If you've already ended the friendship, then I guess you have nothing to lose.

robandal · January 2010

Everyone on here will probably faint because I say this, but invite and don't invite whoever you want. I'm making it a point to NOT invite people who are not a part of my life. For instance my grandfather has not spoken to me in 8 years, and guess what he's not getting an invitation. It's YOUR wedding, etiquette or not, if there was something big enough to stop your friendship, don't even waste the postage on an invitation. However, if you think in the future you might be friends, you might want to think about sending one. But if it's seriously over, then they don't deserve an invitation.

MyNameIsNot · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-not-invite-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c9f79546-ae7e-4265-b628-9c8d8b135174Post:ce8a0ab9-81c5-441a-9d1b-34a82123de98">Re: To Invite or not to invite...</a>:
[QUOTE]Everyone on here will probably faint because I say this, but invite and don't invite whoever you want. I'm making it a point to NOT invite people who are not a part of my life. For instance my grandfather has not spoken to me in 8 years, and guess what he's not getting an invitation. It's YOUR wedding, etiquette or not, if there was something big enough to stop your friendship, don't even waste the postage on an invitation. However, if you think in the future you might be friends, you might want to think about sending one. But if it's seriously over, then they don't deserve an invitation.
Posted by robandal[/QUOTE]

But did you first send your grandfather a note asking him to block off the date for your wedding b/c an invite was coming? Yeah, that's why it's so rude.

sucrets4 · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-not-invite-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c9f79546-ae7e-4265-b628-9c8d8b135174Post:ce8a0ab9-81c5-441a-9d1b-34a82123de98">Re: To Invite or not to invite...</a>:
[QUOTE]Everyone on here will probably faint because I say this, but invite and don't invite whoever you want. I'm making it a point to NOT invite people who are not a part of my life. For instance my grandfather has not spoken to me in 8 years, and guess what he's not getting an invitation. It's YOUR wedding, etiquette or not, if there was something big enough to stop your friendship, don't even waste the postage on an invitation. However, if you think in the future you might be friends, you might want to think about sending one. But if it's seriously over, then they don't deserve an invitation.
Posted by robandal[/QUOTE]

robandal = reading comprehension fail.

She has essentially ALREADY invited the people by sending a std. To not follow up with an invite is RUDE.

I didn't invite my brother to my wedding. I have no idea where he's living or what he's doing. No one on here could advise me on that decision, but if I had sent him a std, I would be obligated to follow it up with an invite.

laurenclaire1386 · January 2010

Robandal, you won't find any gasping, pearl clutching, or fainting from any etiquette feaux pas. We will however tell you what is wrong and why.

dianenjnj · January 2010

first of all, the wedding is not for 5 months....whatever arrangements were made can be cancelled! apparently, you don't have much travel experience...the time to book is between 1 and 3 months before if you are flying...i get the feeling that these people are local...if they were not the op would not be feeling a breach in the relationship for not being in touch for 6 months....jeeez, common sense overrides your silly phony etiquette.

[Deleted User] · January 2010

Diane, you do realize you are on an etiquette board, right?

dianenjnj · January 2010

and do you realize that remark is rude?

[Deleted User] · January 2010

Nope. Sure don't.

Galaxy8227 · January 2010

I would invite them, and if you aren't really close with them anymore, they probably won't come anyway.

kmurr010 · January 2010

I understand the ettiquette of it all, believe me, I am an ettiquette nazi. I will send invitations to everyone and pray they won't come and make jerks of themselves. It was just a thought. I would never want to offend someone, I just didn't know if I could cross someone off the list because everytime I have seen her and her boyfriend in the last year she has said something rude or negative about my wedding. Several times she has made completely unfounded and hurtful comments directly to me about myself or my fiance. However, I will send her an invite and remember that she is the one without any couth, not myself. Thanks for the input.

And as far as the comment being made that sending my STDs a year in advance was a mistake, it wasn't. I live in a resort town where hotels fill up months in advance. Not to mention I am getting married the weekend before 4th of July, which makes traveling all the more difficult.

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