Tacky and Expensive Registry Items

Istremene · July 2010

I actually felt guilty when I registered. It was a weird experience. But it is just a suggesstion of what to buy and if they dont want to they dont have to. We also picked 2 different places to register....Target and Crate & Barrel. I would not ever register for hygiene items. A toothbrush, really?!

I have an acquaintance who registered online with one of those sites where you can register everywhere and it would send us emails every single time it was updated. Drove me nuts the weeks before her wedding.

quotequeen · July 2010

I worry about being judged for my registry, because even though we have a wide range of prices and lots of stuff under $50, most of the items we registered for are toward the higher end for that particular item. But the thing is, FI and I have reached the point in our lives where we just want nicer stuff, and can afford to get it. We wouldn't go out and buy everything on our registry all at once, but we've spent a lot of time choosing the items, and if we were going to buy that particular item for ourselves, this is the one we would buy. There are quite a few items that we will purchase for ourselves if we don't receive them.

I do think people look greedy when they register for things that are well beyond their normal realm of what they would buy themselves.

damaless · July 2010

Personally, I think it's silly to judge people for their registries. If you don't like what they have on there, buy something else for them or don't bring a gift. It's just a wishlist, not mandatory.

myother1 · July 2010

Post wedding, I actually just added about $1000 worth of kitchen stuff to my BB&B registry. All of it was Calphalon cookware - they run a deal where if you send in your registry with over $500 of Calphalon products purchased (we'll be completing the registries this weekend), they'll send you another piece of cookware and some utensil.

But to add to the discussion, I always find it amusing to see what people register for, but I don't judge them based on their lists. People like to buy all types of things for weddings and showers, and, as PPs have said, no one's forcing anyone to buy anything.

If you don't like the list, just send money. If you don't want to send money, buy something not on the registry. It's very simple.

mags0607 · July 2010

I am having a nervous breakdown about my registry as well, and I feel like I am going to be judged for it.

I come from an area where people mostly give gifts, not cash for weddings and showers. Its not uncommon for Aunt Sally to buy the Kitchen Aid mixer, but she would never give you money.

I also have a huge guest list, so I have quite a few items on my registry. I just feel like someone is going to look at it and think I am gift grabby because there is so much on there.

Fi and I have lived together for 3 years, and most of the stuff we have is less expensive stuff we bought right after college. Its really time to replace a lot of it, especially kitchen appliances, sheets and towels, but I feel really guilty for putting things over $100 on my registry.

Plus, Macy's stresses me out because 1 week everything is on sale and in a very reasonable price range, and the next week its full price, and looks too expensive compared to my other registry.

I add and delete all the time, and I'm driving myself nuts about it.

temerityjane · July 2010

mags - I feel the SAME WAY about Macy's! One week, all of my placesettings will be buy one get one or half price, the next, they're high. I need to stop bargain shopping FOR my guests. I worry about the "too many items" too. I'm giving myself hives trying to find the line between variety and greed, convenience and annoyance.

mags0607 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tacky-expensive-registry-items?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:303adf5e-e25a-46d5-9553-4b3ea9793ad9Post:907cb685-6f7c-4f8c-b28b-1770893a861e">Re: Tacky and Expensive Registry Items</a>:
[QUOTE]mags - I feel the SAME WAY about Macy's! One week, all of my placesettings will be buy one get one or half price, the next, they're high. I need to stop bargain shopping FOR my guests. I worry about the "too many items" too. I'm giving myself hives trying to find the line between variety and greed, convenience and annoyance.
Posted by temerityjane[/QUOTE]

I am literally driving myself nuts about it, and I know in the back of my mind its no big deal, because people will spend what they feel comfortable. I just feel bad that one week someone might spend 70.00 on a set of my plates, when the week before they were 34.99 and they are that price at BBB EVERYDAY.

I think i tend to overanalyze things and worry too much.

Also, the more you and I post in the same threads, the more I like you because you seem to have some of the same crazy paranoid thoughts that I do. :)

vencela · July 2010

Our registry is a nice balance of price ranges, and I'm glad. We received our Calphalon Contemporary Stainless pots & pans set (a high ticket item, to be sure!) as an early shower gift from 12 people on FI's side... that works out to like $35 per person! We are head-over-heels in love with them, and it turned out to be an inexpensive, thoughtfully arranged gift.

I say provide a nice variety of price points

temerityjane · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tacky-expensive-registry-items?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:303adf5e-e25a-46d5-9553-4b3ea9793ad9Post:ee2ea331-fef9-4668-a8b5-f78f56f90bbc">Re: Tacky and Expensive Registry Items</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Tacky and Expensive Registry Items : I am literally driving myself nuts about it, and I know in the back of my mind its no big deal, because people will spend what they feel comfortable. I just feel bad that one week someone might spend 70.00 on a set of my plates, when the week before they were 34.99 and they are that price at BBB EVERYDAY. I think i tend to overanalyze things and worry too much. Also, the more you and I post in the same threads, the more I like you because you seem to have some of the same crazy paranoid thoughts that I do. :)
Posted by mags0607[/QUOTE]

I got an email notification about a $99.99 item someone bought that was out of stock and will mail later (I wasn't stalking, I swear!) Right after they bought it, it dropped down to $49.99. I feel like I should mail a refund. I hope if I have a kid, I can raise them to be gracious about gifts, never expect gifts, but not develop a COMPLEX over gifts because OH MY GOD.

mags0607 · July 2010

I blame my mother for my complex. She has the same one if not worse. Its always been easier for me to be the giver and not the receiver, and with 300 people and two showers already planned, I feel overwhelmed about this registry.

temerityjane · July 2010

I try to remind myself how I like to shop from registries, and what I thought of registries Pre-Bride Brain. I liked variety, I liked being able to buy one thing in my price range or a whole bunch of other things, like a whole bathroom ensemble, at lower prices, and if given the chance, would go in on a big gift. Yet for some reason, everything that was PERFECTLY FINE for weddings I ATTENDED is suddenly a major stroke-worthy issue for my OWN wedding.

Pre-Bridery is a mental disorder, I swear.

mags0607 · July 2010

Haha, yes this is totally me as well. I have no problem going on with others for bigger items, I have no problem buying a whole bunch of small items, or just picking something I like in my price range. I just have a hard time thinking LOGICALLY about anything wedding related lately.

I also didn't know our weddings were a week apart. We will probably reach insanity mode at the same time...lol.

Knittibell · July 2010

I had a kitchenaid mixer on my regisrty, and my moms friends from childhood got together and bought it for us, which was awesome. I had items from $450+ to $4. Our best man spent around $400 on one item for us, and yeah, we got a Dyson too... and a $250 coffee maker, and a $300 all clad roasting pan... but that was a drop in the bucket for the big item purchasers, many of whom were in the UK and with the exchange rate thought they were getting a bargain (!). Register for what you want and need, include a varied amount of items and price ranges. If you want the $200 blender because you think it'll last a lifetime- register for it, and leave the $50 one on the shelf. I know in some parts of the country showers are often not home making gifts, but things for the bride- so the toothbrush and hair straightener would make total sense in that case.

I'm always interested in what people register for, but I don't judge. Who cares? Register for a TV, tools, whatever you need. I'll find something on the list I'd like to give you and if I can't, I'll give you cash.

osumegs · July 2010

This is kinda off topic and a long way away, but I thought I'd go ahead and run it by you ladies while on the discussion of tacky and expensive wedding registries. My FI and I live in a bigger city and have plenty of options as far as shopping. We don't have what I consider to be expensive tastes by any means, but we do like nicer things if possible (kinda middle of the road). The majority of my family lives in a smaller town that is pretty limited as far as shopping possibilities (think Walmart, JCPenneys, and a Kohl's which is fairly far away). We won't even start our registry for a long time, but already several people have mentioned where they WANT us to register. We don't shop at any of those stores. We could find some things at Kohl's that we would need/use, but beyond that not really sure what to do. They keep suggesting places like Walmart (not bashing the stores or the people, just not our type of place to go). I would rather go with a place that carries stuff we are more apt to use and have around for a long time. Is it rude for us to register for a handful of things at a place like Kohl's where they can technically go if they don't want to do online ordering and register for the remaining items at Macy's or Bed, Bath, and Beyond?

Knittibell · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tacky-expensive-registry-items?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:303adf5e-e25a-46d5-9553-4b3ea9793ad9Post:beac7b81-e7e8-4343-80be-197c0f51d45a">Re: Tacky and Expensive Registry Items</a>:
[QUOTE]This is kinda off topic and a long way away, but I thought I'd go ahead and run it by you ladies while on the discussion of tacky and expensive wedding registries. My FI and I live in a bigger city and have plenty of options as far as shopping. We don't have what I consider to be expensive tastes by any means, but we do like nicer things if possible (kinda middle of the road). The majority of my family lives in a smaller town that is pretty limited as far as shopping possibilities (think Walmart, JCPenneys, and a Kohl's which is fairly far away). We won't even start our registry for a long time, but already several people have mentioned where they WANT us to register. We don't shop at any of those stores. We could find some things at Kohl's that we would need/use, but beyond that not really sure what to do. They keep suggesting places like Walmart (not bashing the stores or the people, just not our type of place to go). I would rather go with a place that carries stuff we are more apt to use and have around for a long time. Is it rude for us to register for a handful of things at a place like Kohl's where they can technically go if they don't want to do online ordering and register for the remaining items at Macy's or Bed, Bath, and Beyond?
Posted by osumegs[/QUOTE]

I think it's fine! We registered early too- parents said to do it so they could get us things like birthday and Christmas presents from the registry, too... which was great- at the time we'd closed on our house a week before he proposed, so for us it made total sense. I think you're better off getting things you want that will LAST.

karmellah · July 2010

my list will range from 2 bucks to 400 bucks. his family is old school itallian and must spend 300+ per event. i dont care if i seem gift grabby because we need everything. this is my first place so i brought nothing to the table and all his stuff was his mothers in the 70s. we've only bought a couple of things together

MellingerHeindel · July 2010

Wow, I'm really glad that you're not invited to my wedding. I definitely have a straightener on my registry. My fiancé has tools on it too. What's the point of having a registry if your afraid to put what you really want on it? Why not just buy something in your price range and ignore what's out of it? I hope your husband's cousin gets the straightener and the toothbrush.

MellingerHeindel · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tacky-expensive-registry-items?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:303adf5e-e25a-46d5-9553-4b3ea9793ad9Post:b39fe310-9643-4ee3-971c-4db075fa903c">Re: Tacky and Expensive Registry Items</a>:
[QUOTE]Personally, I think it's silly to judge people for their registries. If you don't like what they have on there, buy something else for them or don't bring a gift. It's just a wishlist, not mandatory.
Posted by damaless[/QUOTE]

<div>I completely agree! I also feel sorry for those who now feel self-conscious about their registry. I really think that the registry Nazis are in the minority. Most people are happy to get you something that you truly want, so don't sweat it! Have fun with your registry and don't worry about what people think!!!</div>

Meg1979 · July 2010

My FI and I have been together for awhile. We've lived together for about 4 years. We are basically upgrading our stuff and we registered for some luggage. I think the highest price point I have is the Kitchen Aid Mixer. I was a litle concerned about looking grabby, but these are the things we need. I think of the registry as suggestions for gifts. No one is obligated to choose our gifts from it, but it's there if they want it. It's sometimes hard to pick gifts for people.

As for personal items, I think they are better off the registry. I think pet stuff is okay, though. I mean, you have a pet. Putting one bowl thing on there would be fine.

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