My future sister in law is demanding that we change the date because the date we selected is too close to her anniversary! (One day apart). We’ve already reserved our venue—and to change the date I would have to select another venue b/c of availability. In addition, the venue is a rose garden. If we moved the date to another month (the only other dates left at this point) then it would either be too hot in July or the roses not in full bloom in May. In reality, our wedding is really only family members and a few close friends (less than 35 guests), but I have done a lot of planning already. Our reception venue is selected, the caterer is booked, the photographer, and both our priest and our pastor are flying in from out of state, and they both had the date available. I was almost done planning! To start over would be madness at this point…we are only 6 months away! To be honest, we did not check the date with family to begin with. Both sets of our parents are retired and available, and our siblings are within an hour drive, so we figured they could adjust their schedules. Am I wrong to want one day to be my own, and to not have to compromise it because of a family conflict????
Re: Change the date due to family conflict??!
Politely, of course.
"So I sing a song of love, Julia"
06.10.10
BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
"So I sing a song of love, Julia"
06.10.10
BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
In reality, you probably should've checked with the "important people" but whatever. If you had barely planned I'd say maybe, if it was that important to her, especially if she had a big trip or something, you could change it.
But seelecting a new venue, changing flight plans, etc, is ridiculous. Keep your date.
Maybe have FI talk to her since it's his sister after all.
She's ridiculous.
[QUOTE]Tell your FSIL to shove it. Politely, of course.
Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]
This.
If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
"Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar
Originally it was because the date (6.19.10) is the DAY BEFORE her anniversary (6.20.1999).

NOW she's saying that they haven't taken a long vacation in years (they're both doctors, and she has her own practice, so that could be partial reality) and that they had an elaborate week-long vacation planned for THAT weekend. But, she didn't tell any of us about it, and yet I'M the B**** for not asking HER first!!! REALLY????
And they don't OWN any date. Many couples will be getting married that day, evidenced by the fact that there are more than 365 married couples in the world.
In retrospect, it probably would have been a good idea to check with immediate family first but there's nothing you can do about that now. Besides, if that's the only conflict you have with that date, that's good. Any other date and you could have had numerous conflicts.
"So I sing a song of love, Julia"
06.10.10
BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
"So I sing a song of love, Julia"
06.10.10
BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
oh and i just read the part about the vacation, if she didnt tell anybody about it and when you booked the date she didnt say anything right that second as soon as she found out, she's got nothing to complain about.
[QUOTE]Originally it was because the date (6.19.10) is the DAY BEFORE her anniversary (6.20.1999). NOW she's saying that they haven't taken a long vacation in years (they're both doctors, and she has her own practice, so that could be partial reality) and that they had an elaborate week-long vacation planned for THAT weekend. But, she didn't tell any of us about it, and yet I'M the B**** for not asking HER first!!! REALLY????
Posted by bjdavis511[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Well, I can see her point of view better now... Why didn't you check with all the "must be there" guests before you chose your date? </div><div>
</div><div>It's not her responsibility to run possible vacation dates by you just because you got engaged. You should have run possible wedding dates by your close family members, though...
</div><div>
</div><div>What's done is done, however, and hopefully it won't be too difficult for her to change their vacation. I would apologize profusely for "forgetting" to ask about date conflicts, but let her know that you're too far in to change the date at this point.</div>
"So I sing a song of love, Julia"
06.10.10
BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
But I don't know anyone that has already booked a vacation for the summer already 6 months in advance. It really sounds like the vacation is an excuse, she doesn't want to share.
On another note, I'm guessing this is your FI's sister. If so, have you discussed with your FI what he wants to do? If it's very important to him that she be there and she won't budge, you might have to compromise, even though I think that's really unfair if she's just being difficult because of the anniversaries being close together.
My sister got married on my cousin's anniversary date. They came to the wedding, no hard feelings. They loved they got an awesome meal, dancing and party for free. We all (including my sister) ackownledge their anniversary.
My aunt got married on my grandparent's annviersary. Again no DRAMA.
Keep on planning and just ignore her. If they choose the vacation over your wedding. So be it.
You stick with what you got and say that this is not up for discussion the wedding is this day and that is where it will be left at. I would love for you to be with us on our day but that decision will be yours to make. Then no more discussing this. I would never change my date unless it was an emergency within my family. Otherwise it is what it is.GL