You know that show Everybody Loves Raymond? Yeah, my life.
So, we still haven't met with our minister, but FMIL did finally call me and tell me the guy's last name. Apparently she told FI his name AGES ago, and FI just.... forgot. That doesn't surprise me, but I feel bad that he let me think his mom was TRYING to drive me crazy by not giving me any information when really it was just his own fault for not caring enough to remember.
Ugh.
His mom is TRYING to get involved with the wedding planning, as of two weeks ago. Do you guys SEE this ticker in my sig??? I have emailed this lady several times since our engagement in August. I've invited her to things. I have tried. She doesn't respond. She did go with me to pick up my wedding dress, and she took me to my fittings at her sister's house. But, she won't answer my questions about guest list, program wording, anything at all. So... I take that as she's not all that interested.
There's not much else to do! Add to that the fact that I still feel really awkward with her because she's been a crazy person my whole relationship, and I don't feel bad that she hasn't been involved.
Anyway, so apparently FI feels bad because his mom has been playing nice for a few months now, and she told him over and over that she wants to help and all we have to do is ask.
So, FINALLY he's ready to meet with the minister (after we already had our meeting with the coordinator and I basically couldn't answer her questions about the ceremony because I just didn't know anything). But, there's a catch.
He wants his parents to go with us.
Okay, okay, so the minister is one of his dad's oldest friends. That's great. And Josh doesn't really know the guy and he doesn't want to call. I get it. BUT. This is not a time for his parents to visit with somebody. This is a time for Josh and I to be able to ask questions and make suggestions for our wedding ceremony. Which I find to be a very personal thing.
It doesn't help that his parents are Catholic and his mom already mentioned how her mother is "rolling over in her grave" because we're not having a Catholic ceremony.
It doesn't help that his mom was basically a horrible human being to me right up until after we got engaged. And even then she wasn't great sometimes.
It doesn't help that I don't care how much she promises not to butt in, I know how much alike she and I are, and I don't think *I* could refrain from giving my opinions if I were her. And I don't want her butting in about OUR wedding ceremony that has NOTHING to do with her.
I don't want her there. She makes me uncomfortable. It's none of her business.
But FI wants her and his dad to feel included and involved. I said "So take them to the open house at the venue next week." He doesn't want to go to that. I said, "Take your dad to get measured for his tux." Josh doesn't think that's really involvement. I said "Go back in time and tell your mom to be nice to me and actually answer my questions and show an interest in the wedding and me in general."
Well, maybe that's asking a bit much.
Yes, we already talked about this. We had a very long talk last night, and it got a little ugly for a bit. And then we talked again and he decided that since I would be THAT uncomfortable, he won't invite his parents to meet with the minister.
But it still bugs me that we even had an argument over it... because it seems so.... I mean..... not something to argue about. And we don't usually ARGUE. We ususally discuss. Sometimes we even have a heated discussion. But he actually told me to shut up and I told him he shouldn't need mommy and daddy to hold his hand for EVERYTHING.
It wasn't nice.
And I just wanted to vent. But you guys know I appreciate your input. So feel free.