So, we broke up instead.

Legu · June 2012

For those that missed or don't remember...
I found out I was pregnant around a month ago now. FI decided to sit me down and tell me to abort.
Many of the ladies on here said to listen to his reasons but ultimately remember that it's my choice.
I listened, I chose. No way was I able to seriously consider an abortion.
Now I lost him instead.

I know I'll be okay, of course I will.
Just... This is kinda hard to deal with right now.

ETA: Just read that through and it's awful, like I'm blaming you guys for my breakup or something! Please understand that is not the case, I'm greatful to you all for helping me stand up for myself and save my baby's life... I apologise on behalf of my poor exhausted brain cells.

Meegles4 · June 2012

Oh man, I'm so SO sorry :

GroomNeedsAdvice · June 2012

I did not see that post, Legu, but I am so sorry. He may come around further into the pregnancy, as I've seen a few friends do in somewhat similar situations. It was wrong for him to make you feel this way, and FWIW, I think you made the right call.

ILoveToRobot · June 2012

wow I'm so sorry to hear that. I'm curious, did he not want children or something?

Winnertag1 · June 2012

I'm so sorry =/

Viczaesar · June 2012

I'm sorry Legu, that's horrible.

wrigleyville · June 2012

Oh gosh, Legu. I'm sorry.

I wasn't part of the original thread, but I did read it. I'm glad you chose what is best for you, even if it meant losing him. *hugs*

baystateapple · June 2012

I was wondering how you were doing. I am so sorry that this is the path he chose. Take care of yourself and your baby. I think that you made the right decision; if you chose to abort when you were so against it, I do not think your relationship would have survived.

*HUGS* See a doctor, maybe find a therapist to cope with this. Hopefully he will come around in time. And even if he doesn't, he's still on the hook for child support. Whether he wants a baby or not, it's coming, and he's still responsible as his father.

I hope for nothing but the best of luck for you and your baby.

musicalsunlight · June 2012

Oh man, legu. Words can't do justice to how sad that makes me and upset that he chose that path instead of staying with you and your baby. But I am so glad that you stuck by your feelings to keep your child and I only wish you the best.

GroomNeedsAdvice · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_so-we-broke-up-instead?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5f022046-a128-4229-8c0a-9de50a6c13bdPost:598ddb06-bf84-4b24-8032-3e4198581174">Re: So, we broke up instead.</a>:
[QUOTE]I was wondering how you were doing. I am so sorry that this is the path he chose. Take care of yourself and your baby. I think that you made the right decision; if you chose to abort when you were so against it, I do not think your relationship would have survived. *HUGS* See a doctor, maybe find a therapist to cope with this. Hopefully he will come around in time. And even if he doesn't, he's still on the hook for child support. Whether he wants a baby or not, it's coming, and he's still responsible as his father. I hope for nothing but the best of luck for you and your baby.
Posted by baystateapple[/QUOTE]

For some reason I can't bold it, but truth to the child support comment. Even if he makes the bad decision to not be involved in his child's life, he sure as hell was involved in the creation. He needs to pay accordingly.

Legu · June 2012

Hopefully, if I get this right, this is a link to the last lot. http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-fi-wants-an-abortion for anyone who wanted some catch-up. Thanks for replying already guys. I gotta go sleep before I start hallucinating [so tired, haven't slept in like a week, it feels like] but I'll be a little more eloquent tomorrow, hopefully. Sincere thanks, everyone x

adamar15 · June 2012

I'm so sorry. I hope the best for you and your baby.

ootmother2 · June 2012

I rememeber your post well and I'm very proud that you are strong enough to stand up for what is best and your child!

I was a single parent early on so if you ever need help,support or advice, PM me!

Good luck & God bless

lyndausvi · June 2012

I'm so sorry.

Hopefully as time goes by he will become a good father even if he is a cappy partner.

Beachy730 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_so-we-broke-up-instead?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5f022046-a128-4229-8c0a-9de50a6c13bdPost:f4023c94-5044-4f85-8451-f2e919bf89a1">Re:So, we broke up instead.</a>:
[QUOTE]I have to say personally I don't hope he comes around because any man who would leave a woman he was otherwise planning to marry for not aborting a child that he is stil going to have to be responsible for regardless of if you guys are together is a douchetastic tool and you deserve better. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this, but it sounds like you made the right choice for you.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

<div>My thoughts exactly. Like you said in your other post he didn't say this as a rash decision, it was a few weeks later and he thought about it. Any man that chooses to leave you and your baby when he knows you are going to keep it is a complete asshat and you deserve better. </div>

angelstar975 · June 2012

I'm really glad that you made the right decison for you, instead of letting him pressure you into doing what he wanted. He very well may come around, but whether you take him back at that point is up to you. Good luck with everything, I'm really sorry that it had to happen this way.

achiduck · June 2012

Aw, Legu I'm sorry you're having to go through this right now. Hugs.

bonge · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_so-we-broke-up-instead?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5f022046-a128-4229-8c0a-9de50a6c13bdPost:48c9e991-4a75-4c48-8339-f9b181480d0f">So, we broke up instead.</a>:
[QUOTE]For those that missed or don't remember... I found out I was pregnant around a month ago now. FI decided to sit me down and tell me to abort. Many of the ladies on here said to listen to his reasons but ultimately remember that it's my choice. I listened, I chose. No way was I able to seriously consider an abortion. Now I lost him instead. I know I'll be okay, of course I will. Just... This is kinda hard to deal with right now. ETA: Just read that through and it's awful, like I'm blaming you guys for my breakup or something! Please understand that is not the case, I'm greatful to you all for helping me stand up for myself and save my baby's life... I apologise on behalf of my poor exhausted brain cells.
Posted by Legu[/QUOTE]

<div>I have to say that is a pretty crappy thing of him to do. Like seriously? He wanted to marry you but leaves you when you get pregnant. I have to say he is a douche & i NEVER ever call anyone that. I hope it all works out for you. </div>

Lizzieyounce · June 2012

I was thinking about you the other day. I'm so sorry about this, but I will be praying for you. I realize that this is the Internet and that you don't know me from Adam, but I've been a single mother in a situation very similar to yours. If you ever want to talk, just PM me. Get some sleep, keep your chin up. It will all be okay, even if it doesn't seem that way now.

StephBeanWed61502 · June 2012

Legu, I am so sorry. Hang in there - this will get easier with time. For now, get as much rest as possible and take care of yourself and your baby.

MyUserName1 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_so-we-broke-up-instead?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5f022046-a128-4229-8c0a-9de50a6c13bdPost:e40f2347-c1a0-4d62-9459-eb0c835322aa">Re: So, we broke up instead.</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm so sorry. Hopefully as time goes by he will become a good father even if he is a cappy partner.
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

<div>This.</div><div>
</div><div>Also, I'm so glad you stood up for yourself and your baby. You should be so proud of yourself.</div>

mica178 · June 2012

I'm so sorry, Legu. I'm glad that you made the decision that was right for you rather than the one he wanted. My prayers are for you and the baby.

ErinG93 · June 2012

Oh Legu, I'm so sorry. I'm so glad you stuck with your decision. Please come back and update us, don't be shy because you are no longer with your FI. Hugs to you.

SB1512 · June 2012

I had read your ealier thread Legu and I'm really sorry as to how things turned out. I applaud you however for sticking to your guns and not letting him force you into a decision you were not comfortable with. It's possible he may come around within a few months time, and completely understandable if you want nothing to do with him at that point, but hopefully he will decide to be a good father and be an active participant in his child's life. Best of luck to you, and wishing you a healthy and happy pregnancy.

jmp2004 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_so-we-broke-up-instead?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5f022046-a128-4229-8c0a-9de50a6c13bdPost:f4023c94-5044-4f85-8451-f2e919bf89a1">Re:So, we broke up instead.</a>:
[QUOTE]I have to say personally I don't hope he comes around because any man who would leave a woman he was otherwise planning to marry for not aborting a child that he is stil going to have to be responsible for regardless of if you guys are together is a douchetastic tool and you deserve better. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this, but it sounds like you made the right choice for you.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

<div>My thoughts exactly! </div>

[Deleted User] · June 2012

*hugs*

mkrupar · June 2012

Aw Legu. Big hugs to you and the little one. I say you're better off now without him. Happy healthy pregnancy vibes to you.

jenajjthr · June 2012

I read your original post, but didn't comment because all of the other posters said everything better than I could. I'm sorry he made such an d1ck move. Although it is horrendous what he did, you now know what type of man he really is and someday will be okay with how this all played out. He may be in your life for a very long time due to your child, but you now have the ability to find the guy who will be a great partner to you and a step-parent to your little one.

Take care of yourself physically and mentally. Your baby needs you at your very best. Thoughts and prayers are with you as you go through this rough time.

melb2013 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_so-we-broke-up-instead?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5f022046-a128-4229-8c0a-9de50a6c13bdPost:f4023c94-5044-4f85-8451-f2e919bf89a1">Re:So, we broke up instead.</a>:
[QUOTE]I have to say personally I don't hope he comes around because any man who would leave a woman he was otherwise planning to marry for not aborting a child that he is stil going to have to be responsible for regardless of if you guys are together is a douchetastic tool and you deserve better. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this, but it sounds like you made the right choice for you.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I can't agree with this more. I'm so sorry. Take care of yourself and your baby.

</div>

Lisa50 · June 2012

I'm so sorry you're in this situation. Make sure you're solid with this decision -- it's not simply not having an abortion, it is consciously deciding to raise a child by yourself, unless you're considering giving the baby up for adoption.

Take things one day at a time. Your FI will be back in your life -- for the rest of your child's life, in one way or another -- so be prepared for that.

I wish you all the best. Take good care of yourself and enjoy your pregnancy!

ajmom2two · June 2012

Hugs! I am so sorry that you are going thru this. From someone who has gone thru something similar let me say that you CAN do this without your FI and do it amazingly and at some point, sooner or later, your FI will regret making the decision he did.

So, we broke up instead.

Re: So, we broke up instead.

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