Just Engaged and Proposals

People don't compliment my ring

I'm happily newly engaged, but I'm starting to get depressed.  When people see my ring, they say "ohhh congrats!" and then sometimes ask "Did you get to help pick it out?".  Nobody has said it is pretty.  When my other friends got a ring, the same people gushed over how beautiful their rings were.  I was also hoping that people at work and in class would notice and say something.  Nobody did.

My ring just under 1 carat for the stone, and then there is a delicate halo around it and then has the same size diamonds in the band.  IDK if they just think it is small or ugly or if I'm just overanalyzing it.  Either way, I'm about ready to cry.
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Re: People don't compliment my ring

  • jagore08jagore08 member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited May 2012
    Are you happy with it?  If you like your ring that's all that matters.  Your ring may not be other peoples style but that shouldn't matter to you.  You ring sounds lovely.
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  • Its not about what others think or the size or the color its about what you think. The ring is about symbolism. He's offered you a gift of great value in the shape of a circle symbolizing he values you and wants to spend his life with you.

    My ring will not be everyone's cup of tea and I really dont care. I know when it gets here its ours and though I always loved the setting we chose it has great meaning to us.

    What matters is what is in your heart :) not what is in another's eyes.
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  • This is such a tough call. I can understand if you keep thinking about it, it could bother you, but the key factor, and only factor for this matter, is if YOU love you ring! If you love it, that is all that matters! Who cares what others think. We each have our own tastes, likes and dislikes! I ring should speak for you, not what it should say to others! 

    I hope you are able to forget this and remember the reason you have this ring on your hand. Its not for the other ladies out there. It is a token of love, friendship and a bright future with your future husband! 
    Best wishes!
  • I get that you're disappointed, but truly all that matters is that you like it, and you are happy. If you are, then it doesn't matter what other people say or think. I did not care for my best friend's e-ring just because it wasn't my personal style, but it was totally her and she loved it, and that's all that mattered. (FWIW, i never TOLD her I didn't care for it, but I didn't gush over it either, just congratulated her genuinely).


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  • I do love the ring!

    I guess I'm just upset about how people react.  They rave over similar settings, so what is wrong with mine?
  • your's sounds similar to mine too and im in love with mine.don't worry about what other people think. once they get engaged just know that you have the right to not compliment theirs! lmao.if you love it that's all that matters hun. it symbolizes you and your mans love for eachother not the love other people have for it.
  • It sounds GORGEOUS!

    And ever think they're jealous?  It's a good possibility.  "Just under one carat" isn't small by any means (mine is in that range Smile), and even if it was 0.0000001 carats, that doesn't mean it can't be pretty.  I'm glad you love it and I hope you realize it's pretty even if people don't say it is.  Head over to the ring thread and post it...I can guarentee people will compliment it, and not out of obligation but because it *really* is pretty.
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  • Honestly i don't find many people noticed my engagement ring either for the last 11 months.  Whenever people said anything about it: it was like`oh it is big'..(come on, it is just very average size ) or `your fiance did a good job (?),etc.  I started to realize that the ring thing can be a sensitive subject that sometimes people may choose not to address it even though they see yours.

    Do I really care about their comments? No, i love my ring and this is something i will wear for the rest of my life.  I understand it is hard to not think about it, but what is more important to you in your life?  The wedding planning will start soon after your engagement, there will be alot more decision to make, will you very concern about what people think on your choice of dress, bouquet, venue....?

    Life is too short....
  • People don't even ask about my ring or say congrats. Probably because it's small and doesn't look like an engagement ring, but that's my style. The only time I ever have someone comment on it is if they ask what FI does and I say, "He's a jeweler, look at the ring he made me." Sometimes I wish people would notice, but it doesn't matter. I love it.
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  • Am really sorry you are going through this. At the end of the day, what really matter is the fact that he made you a Bride! It doesnt matter the size or what people think. There are a lot of women out there thats been in a relationship for years and are dying to get a ring. You have YOURS! This is YOUR moment! & like annmarie714 said, maybe they are  jealous! ;) Congratulations and I wish you the very best!! XO

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_people-dont-compliment-my-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:bd270482-2ca9-4cb3-9471-b4de34047c06Post:e4ebd9d8-9787-4986-892a-dad72d29066b">Re: People don't compliment my ring</a>:
    [QUOTE]It sounds GORGEOUS! And ever think <strong>they're jealous</strong>?  It's a good possibility.  "Just under one carat" isn't small by any means (mine is in that range ), and even if it was 0.0000001 carats, that doesn't mean it can't be pretty.  I'm glad you love it and I hope you realize it's pretty even if people don't say it is.  Head over to the ring thread and post it...I can guarentee people will compliment it, and not out of obligation but because it *really* is pretty.
    Posted by annmarie714[/QUOTE]

    Definitely.  I had one (male) coworker gush over the 'hugeness' of my ring, which is has a 1.3 carat center stone - his wife's is a carat.  A single (female) coworker's take on the first's raving was 'well your ring is nice, but it's not THAT big'.... <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-tongue-out.gif" border="0" alt="Tongue Out" title="Tongue Out" />

    As long as you love it, that's all that matters. I wouldnt' trade mine for anything.
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  • Post a photo of it...let us all see it! I'm sure its absolutly stunning! The description you gave sounds like mine, Mine is 1/2c set in a halo and its rose gold.
  • Yes I want to see a photo too sounds like mine and I LOVE my ring. 1c center stone a halo etc.althought Ive gotten compliments but people are different. im sure its beautiful
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  • Your ring sounds really beautiful! People didn't really compliment me on my ring, probably because it doesn't really look like an engagement ring. Mine has rubies and cubic zarconia and it is really small. But I love it because it is unique and it was my mother in law's. As long as you love your ring, don't really take to heart what other people say. 
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  • j-harveyj-harvey member
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited October 2013

     

     

     

  • My engagement ring isn't what most people think of as a typical e-ring. It's a sapphire claddagh ring with a diamond accent in the grown. A few people have commented on how much they like it, but most people just say congrats. My boss even said "oh, that's it?" hahah... i'm not sure what that was supposed to mean. Anyway, it's beautiful and conflict-free and symbolic of my culture and I love it. I agree with you that it's a bit disappointing when people aren't as excited about it as you are, or as excited about your ring as other people's rings, but whatever. If you like your ring and, more importantly, you love your future husband, then CONGRATS! :o)
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  • babe915babe915 member
    100 Comments
    I was the first of my friends to be engaged and everyone wanted to see it but they didnt say anythign about it just the congrats...and that was 2 years ago! Mine is only 1/2 a carat but when we looked together I liked this one better than the 1 carat. I'm someone that is simple with jewelry, i think anything over 3/4 is too flashy for me. The fact that he made it though should be enough! If my FI made mine I wouldnt care what others thought because it makes it that much more special. Mine is small, but people also dont see the engraving inside that says "with all my sap". That is something that means so much to me and very few people know its there let alone what it means :) Those touches are what makes an ering more than just a pretty rock set onto metal!
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  • Do you love it? That is really all that matters! There will always be people that don't like the same things you like. On your wedding day, some people will love your venue, some people will hate it, others will be indifferent. This goes for EVERYTHING in life, and especially in weddings. Your dress, your shoes, your jewelry, your cake, your food, your first dance song, your hair-do, the tuxes, even down to details as small as how your nails are done. You will always have critics, good, bad, and completely indifferent. You are the bride, you have to wear the ring every day, and if you like it, nothing else matters!


  • it doesn't matter what other people think/don't think.. you're the one that's gonna have the ring for the rest of your life!!  all that matters is that you love it!
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  • All that matters is that you like it.  You shouldn't worry about what other people think.  Everyone has different tastes and preferences - and that's okay.  As long as you like it - that's what is important!

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  • I get that you're disappointed...I'd be, too!  However, as lon as you like it and your fiance picked it out with pride (my husband was very giddy every time he caught sight of it on my hand for about a month - he said it was his best purchase ever) then that's truly all that matters.

    FWIW, someone at work remarked that "Well, some people just have to get what they can afford," when my stone is just under a carat.  She's also a prima donna who HAD a 2 carat ring until she divorced.  Go figure.

    Happy wedding planning, and CONGRATULATIONS!`
  • I kind of got the same thing because my rings are black diamonds instead of the traditional white ones. I love it and it's totally me! But others don't really like LOVE it! I got a lot of "it's nice" and my FMIL even went on to say "It looks better on your finger than when I saw it in the box" so I feel you on being dissapointed, but it helps to remember that it's a present and symbol of your love not anyone else's. If you love it, which it sounds like you do if it's bugging you, then that's all that matters! You wear it, not anyone else! 
    Congrats on the engagement! Be good to each other and have fun planning your wedding!!
  • edited May 2012
    My ring is tiny.  As in...my Dad asked, "Is there even a diamond on it??".  However, my FI does not have a lot of money and could not afford anything else.  He gets by but there are no savings.  I get that, and I still want to marry him, so although I have a touch of disappointment as I've always envisioned something else, I can deal with the fact I don't have any of these gorgeous rings I see on here, and know I won't get any of those genuine compliments that other people get.

    Congrats on your engagement!!  As long as you love it that's all that matters, as many others have said. :)
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_people-dont-compliment-my-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:bd270482-2ca9-4cb3-9471-b4de34047c06Post:63ffb3f6-6aab-465e-a5e5-5ccba8a22201">People don't compliment my ring</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm happily newly engaged, but I'm starting to get depressed.  When people see my ring, they say "ohhh congrats!" and then sometimes ask "Did you get to help pick it out?".  Nobody has said it is pretty.  When my other friends got a ring, the same people gushed over how beautiful their rings were.  I was also hoping that people at work and in class would notice and say something.  Nobody did. My ring just under 1 carat for the stone, and then there is a delicate halo around it and then has the same size diamonds in the band.  IDK if they just think it is small or ugly or if I'm just overanalyzing it.  Either way, I'm about ready to cry.
    Posted by steph96[/QUOTE]

    YOUR RING SOUNDS STUNNING! The only thing that matters is that you love it and your fiance loves it and its special to you... im sure a lot of it is just jealousy from others... keep your head high!
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  • It's yours. Not others'. They don't need to like it or compliment it.
    I think my ring is fan-freakin-tastic but it's little over a carot on a single platinum band. Very simple (like me :P). People don't compliment it much because it's just such a standard ring with nothing that makes it stand out like crazy. I could freakin' care less. My ring is amazing, as is my H. 

    Time to start thinking the same for yourself and ring ;) 
  • This is a non-problem - sorry. Do you like our ring? Are you marrying your fiancé (congrats, by the way)? If so, then why does it matter what anyone else thinks about it? I have a pink quartz - not diamond in my ring. I hate diamonds. He knew that. So what if everyone goes "oh, no diamond?" I love it!
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  • edited May 2012
    Ummmmm you arent marrying them ... People will always talk and trust me its jealousy ... Just concentrate on the big day and ignore the crowd especially when they are so over analyzing :) 

    CONGRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATS :):):)  I have no ring yet and people think Im crazy for planning my wedding ..... lol , nothing is ever right for the world 
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  • I think it's normal for you to feel a little bummed if people are reacting that way. Just try not to dwell on it, and realize that people may very well be thoughtless and jerks throughout other parts of your wedding planning process. I was also kind of offended that a girl had simply said "Oh, is that exactly what you wanted?" after asking to see my ring and "My engagement story was lame too." Excuse me?!  My fiance proposed to me after a weekend at a bed and breakfast, winery tours, and a dinner at a fine restaurant. I thought it was lovely, but when we tell the story, it's "So he proposed in a parking lot?" Way to put it in the most negative light possible. People are just jerks and will try to drag you down and be as negative as possible.

    After this experience, I will be more aware of things I say to brides and how I congratulate them, so I don't hurt their feelings like mine were hurt. Even seemingly nice comments about the ring like "Oh, that's nice, because you can add to that" kind of offended me and my fiance (perhaps because this was also one of the people that said, "So he proposed in a PARKING LOT?"). Since that's the only thing she said about the ring, we felt it was implying that my solitaire ring was not good enough on its own and needed improvement. Maybe we like the look of solitaires! After all, that's what we got...
  • Why do you care what other peopl ethink about your ring? I mean you have one! If you love why do what rthey say matter? It should not and if your fiance found out you were ready to cry b/c others didnt say what you thought they should say it could hurt his feelings. He picked the one he thought was best for you and it proabbaly took him awhile. If we worried about what others thought about us all the time we would not accomplish much.
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_people-dont-compliment-my-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:bd270482-2ca9-4cb3-9471-b4de34047c06Post:63ffb3f6-6aab-465e-a5e5-5ccba8a22201">People don't compliment my ring</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm happily newly engaged, but I'm starting to get depressed.  When people see my ring, they say "ohhh congrats!" and then sometimes ask "Did you get to help pick it out?".  Nobody has said it is pretty.  When my other friends got a ring, the same people gushed over how beautiful their rings were.  I was also hoping that people at work and in class would notice and say something.  Nobody did. My ring just under 1 carat for the stone, and then there is a delicate halo around it and then has the same size diamonds in the band.  IDK if they just think it is small or ugly or if I'm just overanalyzing it.  Either way, I'm about ready to cry.
    Posted by steph96[/QUOTE]
  • I totally understand how you feel! My ring has a sapphire i the middle instead of a diamond. Mostly because I wanted it, but also because it was cheaper. People have told my mine looks like a friendship ring, not an engagement ring. But I don't care because it's what I wanted. If you like it, thats all that matters. Your ring sounds goregous! :)
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