Just Engaged and Proposals

People don't compliment my ring

2

Re: People don't compliment my ring

  • I have noticed that not alot of people notice my ring either.....I have THREE gorgeous diamonds in mine.....one Marquis in the center that is almost a carat and two side diamonds that are about 1/2 carat each.and then little diamonds all around the ring itself.....absolutely gorgeous.....it sparkles from every angle.....I love my ring and most importantly I love MY GROOM.....that is all that really matters......who cares what other people think anyway.....plan your wedding and your "happily ever after" and don't worry so much about what other people think.....you can't possibly please everybody all the time.
  • Thanks everyone!  I feel a lot better!!

    I love my ring and I find myself admiring it all the time!  I really think people are just surprised that it is as big as it is and don't know what would be appropriate to say.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_people-dont-compliment-my-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:bd270482-2ca9-4cb3-9471-b4de34047c06Post:4b6f6ee1-7d31-43b2-aecb-f2984731a5b6">Re: People don't compliment my ring</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks everyone!  I feel a lot better!! I love my ring and I find myself admiring it all the time!  I really think people are just surprised that it is as big as it is and don't know what would be appropriate to say.
    Posted by steph96[/QUOTE]
    Hi Steph! I read every response to you and I was thrilled to see your post earlier today that they made you feel better:) Yay! I too, think its completely normal for you to wonder why you don't get compliments. I am bummed for you! How very shallow of people. Maybe they just don't realize how important it is to say its pretty to you. However, no doubt in my mind that the jealousy others mention is a real factor.<div> I am a wedding photographer, so I see a lot of rings. More and more people are going with stones other than diamonds, so take it to heart what the other girls are saying. Heaven only knows how outright rude people are to them about their untraditional(but only in the US)rings! </div><div> My center stone is over 2 c. Its hard NOT to notice. And guess what? I SEE people look at it and not comment.(I purposely do not wear it when I shoot engagements or weddings, or even doing consults. I am very aware of the feelings you are having about your ring being somehow inadequate, right or wrong.) I cannot tell you how many people have randomly commented that someone must love me alot when they see it. Really? I find that somewhat insulting. I make sure to tell them that I traded up since getting married and I got a ridiculous deal on that diamond. I like my bling is all. It is in no way a reflection of my husband's love for me. I have seen 1/4c rings that are beautiful. Shoot, I love a speck if it sparkles! Want to see if they noticed it? Leave it at home. If they ask where it is, you know the answer;)</div>
  • I totally relate to this, since your ring sounds very similar to the one I had the first time I was engaged.  It was during college, and the halo style had just been released /it wasnt yet popular. My ring was about the same, with slightlly less than 1 carat, with the halo around it.  People literally said rude things, such as oh that looks like a ring I got as a christmas present. (ie not an engagement ring), or "its small."  What did ppl expect, me and my ex were in college at that point, and he bought what he could afford, without parental help!  About a year later, a jeweler raised the center stone slightly up from the halo and then it got more compliments.  Whats funny is that since then, the halo style has become completely ubiqitous.

    My ring now with my fiance is legitamtely large and gorgeous, but I see that has its own issues, as people feel jealous.

    In the end, as with everything else in life, there are always haters, ppl should watch what they say, but you have to be happy with what you have and not care about others....
  • The first weekend we were engaged we had another couple accuse us of "stealing their thunder" - not only have we been together twice as long (and broken up far less) but my fiance bought my ring first. I'm not quite sure how that is "stealing somones thunder" - but we just ignored it. And then, the same couple, after scrutinizing my ring told my fiance "oh you got this thheerree? you can tell its cheaply made." (Its not cheaply made, I love this ring, and couldnt have asked for a better one, or a better fiance for that matter)

    We just laughed it off - and have since congratulated them on their recent engagement, and told them how beautiful her ring is. It is truly beautiful.

    Some people are out there just to hurt others feelings, you have to take everything with a grain of salt. When it comes to planning your wedding, you may have similar reactions, don't let your feelings get hurt!
  • I go through this sometimes also. I have a pink center stone because I wanted to have something other than a diamond and pink is my signature color. Most people dont even comment and when they do its usually asking if it IS an engagement ring. Lol. Dont worry Honey... some people just dont know how to compliment others in a way that isn't pessimistic. Enjoy your moment, your ring and the love you share. At the end of the day that is the only thing that matters.
  • josgirljosgirl member
    Fourth Anniversary 10 Comments
    Post a picture :)
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_people-dont-compliment-my-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:bd270482-2ca9-4cb3-9471-b4de34047c06Post:9d59034d-7e1c-4f1a-b0e0-3336729567b1">Re: People don't compliment my ring</a>:
    [QUOTE]I totally understand how you feel! My ring has a sapphire i the middle instead of a diamond. Mostly because I wanted it, but also because it was cheaper. People have told my mine looks like a friendship ring, not an engagement ring. But I don't care because it's what I wanted. If you like it, thats all that matters. Your ring sounds goregous! :)
    Posted by Ashelton09[/QUOTE]

    Just tell them "Yep.  It's a friendship ring, just like the one Kate Middleton has on her hand."

    btw - I have a three stone ring with a sapphire center stone and I absolutely love it.

    OP - ignore them.  It's not a contest to see whose ring gets the most compliments
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
  • edited May 2012
    Oh man, I feel your pain!!  My fiance got me a marquis cut amethyst that is set horizontally.  I love it.  I love that it's non-traditional.  I love that it doesn't even really look like and engagement ring.  And when we first got engaged, and everyone wanted to see it, the first few times someone's face dropped when they saw it was really disheartening.  But I don't care anymore.  The more I thought about it, the more I realized how beautiful it is.  And how much time he spent agonizing over picking it out.  And how it's extra special because we both love purple so much.

    Don't let them get to you.  Everyone's got different tastes.  All that matters is that he spent time picking out what best suits yours!  Congrats.  :o)
  • I think everyone's style is unique. Everyone has their "ideal" setting. Personally, I don't like solitaires- too plain for me. I like the 3 stone settings, which some people may not like. So don't take it personally, people just have different tastes : ) What's more important, is that you like it!! : )
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_people-dont-compliment-my-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:bd270482-2ca9-4cb3-9471-b4de34047c06Post:63ffb3f6-6aab-465e-a5e5-5ccba8a22201">People don't compliment my ring</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm happily newly engaged, but I'm starting to get depressed.  When people see my ring, they say "ohhh congrats!" and then sometimes ask "Did you get to help pick it out?".  Nobody has said it is pretty.  When my other friends got a ring, the same people gushed over how beautiful their rings were.  I was also hoping that people at work and in class would notice and say something.  Nobody did. My ring just under 1 carat for the stone, and then there is a delicate halo around it and then has the same size diamonds in the band.  IDK if they just think it is small or ugly or if I'm just overanalyzing it.  Either way, I'm about ready to cry.
    Posted by steph96[/QUOTE]

    I know most othes have calmed your fearsI hope lol. Remember, to the world, you may be oen person but to one person, you may be the world. That ring is his symbol of his world, you. You are very lucky to have someone who will commit to you in that way =)
    Daisypath Friendship tickers PitaPata Cat tickers
  • In Response to People don't compliment my ring:
    If you love it, it doesn't matter what anyone else says.  I have a sapphire for my engagement ring, which is exactly what I always wanted, but not many people say anything about it.  I don't care in the least.  I picked out the design, and my husband had it made - it's perfect.  But think about this ... of all the things you're going to be concerned with during your engagement, what people say about your ring may need to be the least of your worries!  :)  Enjoy your engagement and best wishes for a truly happy marriage!
  • I rarely get compliments on my ring either and it is annoying i always think people think its two small but i tell you what its shines like no other!!!!
  • edited May 2012
    Hey girl!!! I get your pain.... I always wanted people to "gush" over my ring too, I mean you dream about it forever! Then, when they don't, you're like...awesome :(.   And honestly, I know that you posting this means nothing about how much you love your fiance- it is a symbol, but you're still a girl who has dreamed of people gushing over your ring forever.  And just because you might be bummed about your ring, it doesn't mean you aren't happy or excited to marry your man! Besides, it sounds gorgeous!!!!! 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_people-dont-compliment-my-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:bd270482-2ca9-4cb3-9471-b4de34047c06Post:353c1cc3-24d2-4994-8fae-a311797c5c2a">Re: People don't compliment my ring</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think it's normal for you to feel a little bummed if people are reacting that way. Just try not to dwell on it, and realize that people may very well be thoughtless and jerks throughout other parts of your wedding planning process. I was also kind of offended that a girl had simply said "Oh, is that exactly what you wanted?" after asking to see my ring and "My engagement story was lame too." Excuse me?!  My fiance proposed to me after a weekend at a bed and breakfast, winery tours, and a dinner at a fine restaurant. I thought it was lovely, but when we tell the story, it's "So he proposed in a parking lot?" Way to put it in the most negative light possible. People are just jerks and will try to drag you down and be as negative as possible. After this experience, I will be more aware of things I say to brides and how I congratulate them, so I don't hurt their feelings like mine were hurt. Even seemingly nice comments about the ring like "Oh, that's nice, because you can add to that" kind of offended me and my fiance (perhaps because this was also one of the people that said, "So he proposed in a PARKING LOT?"). Since that's the only thing she said about the ring, we felt it was implying that my solitaire ring was not good enough on its own and needed improvement. Maybe we like the look of solitaires! After all, that's what we got...
    Posted by ice_n_fire_rose[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>~TRUE THAT!!!! I learned to watch my comments to brides too, after hearing what some girls said to me LOL... I was like "what?!"... One girl said, "Ya, my boyfriend always thought I would want something small and simple like yours, but I showed him the picture of what I wanted. But it's really expensive."  At least girls like us will be nice <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" />

    </div>
  • This really shouldn't bother you. I did get to help pick out my engagement ring. And I picked out my wedding band. NEITHER of them have diamonds. My e-ring has several white saphires within the band that highlight a bright round blue opal. My wedding band has blue opal set off in a sort of mosaic setting by white saphires. If I had a dime for every time someone had asked "why didn't you get a diamond" or said something that could be considered rude, THEY would have paid for our new bands! Ha!

    If you love it and it means you're getting married to a man you love, then that's all that matters. I just tell people I've never been terribly fond of such a cliche stone and explain that my birthday is in April so diamond jewelry (my birthstone) wouldn't have been as special as a stone set aside just as a reminder of my marriage.

    Remember! You can always "upgrade" your ring with your wedding band/set!

    Congratulations on your engagement.
  • I think you are overthinking this.  It's nice when people compliment your ring, but really it's a gift for you from the man that you love.  People have different tastes in rings.  Yours sounds amazing.  Mine is a simple solitaire in a Tiffany setting.  It's not huge and it is not tiny.  Enjoy being newly engaged because it is a fun time.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Marriages are about love and committment, not rings. People put far too much time and energy into things that ultimately do not matter.... like RINGS. How many celebrities can we list that have had enormous rings and are now DIVORCED. Seems to me a little too much energy may have been invested in the ring.... Please move on with enjoying your wedding!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_people-dont-compliment-my-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:bd270482-2ca9-4cb3-9471-b4de34047c06Post:e1cb1256-c441-42db-bcad-f879ab3d6d43">Re: People don't compliment my ring</a>:
    [QUOTE]Are you happy with it?  If you like your ring that's all that matters.  Your ring may not be other peoples style but that shouldn't matter to you.  You ring sounds lovely.
    Posted by jagore08[/QUOTE]

    Your ring discription sound like my ring, and I love my ring, the middle stone is a little under one carot but i went with the three C's when choosing a dimond. I get one or two compliments here and there, but if people don't know quality it's not your fault.
  • When I got engaged a few weeks ago I didn't even say anything at work, mostly because I didn't want to come off as lording it or anything and especially since there are a few girls there who are dying to be engaged and I didn't want to hurt their feelings.  Even though I didn't make a big deal about it I was still bummed that it took until lunch time for anyone to notice the ring, but then when someone did everyone came running to the cubicle to look at it and hear the story. 
    It quickly became a be-careful what you wish for situation since I was bombarded. 
    People started giving me all kinds of advice on what to do for the wedding and some people threw out their opinions on the proposal.  Luckily I kept my cool and now people hardly bug me about it.
    But like you I think I would like it if more people noticed or said something about the ring now after the fact just because it’s still new and exciting to me.  Some people didn't even notice at all.  But in the end it doesn't matter.  I got exactly what I wanted, my grandmother's setting repaired and with a new sparkly diamond (the setting didn't have a diamond when it was given to me).  Every time I look at it, it makes me smile and think of my fiancé. Even though he could have gone out and bought something else, he valued how important it was to me to repair the setting and put a diamond in it once again.  He worked hard and searched high and low to find a diamond he knew I would like and didn't go broke trying to do it (thankfully!).
    So in the end even if you would like your ring to get more attention just remember that he picked it out just for you, so that you can cherish it and smile and think of him when it catches your eye.   So if you like it and enjoy then that’s probably the best compliment your ring could ever get. 
    image
  • edited May 2012
    I get the same comments and very few compliments and I have a 2.5c colorless Tiffany Cut diamond, my theory is that people think is fake! The point is, it doesn't matter what people think or say as long you love it. It does sound gorgeous, by the way! People have their reasons and that includes jealousy (of your ring or your engagement), lack of tact or class, or maybe they think they are being unique by not saying what they assume everyone else says. 
  • NettieNNettieN member
    First Comment
    Mine was the same way.  Mine is a true edwardian antique.  The stone it's self is an old european cut but small (by todays stone standards)  BUT, I love it. Just as others have said it's whats in your heart that matters here.  Relax and be at peace for you have what many may never find....true love.







    I
    n Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_people-dont-compliment-my-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:bd270482-2ca9-4cb3-9471-b4de34047c06Post:63ffb3f6-6aab-465e-a5e5-5ccba8a22201">People don't compliment my ring</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm happily newly engaged, but I'm starting to get depressed.  When people see my ring, they say "ohhh congrats!" and then sometimes ask "Did you get to help pick it out?".  Nobody has said it is pretty.  When my other friends got a ring, the same people gushed over how beautiful their rings were.  I was also hoping that people at work and in class would notice and say something.  Nobody did. My ring just under 1 carat for the stone, and then there is a delicate halo around it and then has the same size diamonds in the band.  IDK if they just think it is small or ugly or if I'm just overanalyzing it.  Either way, I'm about ready to cry.
    Posted by steph96[/QUOTE]
  • As others said, all that matters is that you are happy. If you like it, that should be enough.

    BTW, my ring does is a ruby ring (with three tiny diamonds for design), and most people don't even realize that I am engaged! Who cares! I know I am engaged, and my DF went to great lengths to buy me something I'd love.

    BTW, your ring sounds gorgeous from what you described. Don't let what other people think about it spoil your happiness!
  • trust me, i know exactly what you feel because i'm in the same situation. and not only that, but one of my friends just got engaged and everyone and their mom is freaking out about it and is so happy for her, but it seems like half of those people reacted that way for me and my fiance. mind you, we're in the same friend group, go to the same church, and live in the same area, so it's not like those people didn't know me. i've just had to chalk it up to different people act different ways at different times. that's all. and while it may hurt, since it is a subject very sensitive to you (and i'm sure everyone here could understand why), that's all that can really be done. you can't blatanly say "look at my ring and congratulate me." but you can see that people act differetly and more than likely don't mean any harm or hurt by it. 
  • The fact that you are happy with the ring and more than anything that you are happy because you are engaged is all that matters. A ring is important but more important than what others think is the fact that you will share your life with the one you love. Laughing
  • First of all, CONGRATS and I totally agree with you. What really matters is that we have what we wanted. :)

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_people-dont-compliment-my-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:bd270482-2ca9-4cb3-9471-b4de34047c06Post:9d59034d-7e1c-4f1a-b0e0-3336729567b1">Re: People don't compliment my ring</a>:
    [QUOTE]I totally understand how you feel! My ring has a sapphire i the middle instead of a diamond. Mostly because I wanted it, but also because it was cheaper. People have told my mine looks like a friendship ring, not an engagement ring. But I don't care because it's what I wanted. If you like it, thats all that matters. Your ring sounds goregous! :)
    Posted by Ashelton09[/QUOTE]
  • I agree. It is not a contest but for some odd reason people think the ring is a measure of love and a proof of income, but we all have different priorities and different ideas! :)


    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_people-dont-compliment-my-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:bd270482-2ca9-4cb3-9471-b4de34047c06Post:06dd26c5-44b0-4e03-9297-2eea1dee294f">Re: People don't compliment my ring</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: People don't compliment my ring : Just tell them "Yep.  It's a friendship ring, just like the one Kate Middleton has on her hand." btw - I have a three stone ring with a sapphire center stone and I absolutely love it. OP - ignore them.  It's not a contest to see whose ring gets the most compliments
    Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]
  • I am with you. I had to exchange the ring that my fiance proposed with. I loved the ring but unfortunately it was way too loose and they could not size it down because of the design and they didnt have another one just like it...long story short, after many trips to the jewerly store, we decided to go ahead and exchanged the ring and decided to actually buy the set (enagagement ring and wedding band) we both fell in love with the set and are happy that we both got what we wanted!!! :)


    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_people-dont-compliment-my-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:bd270482-2ca9-4cb3-9471-b4de34047c06Post:c2098041-ddb2-4892-ac0b-3bd7fe542bde">Re: People don't compliment my ring</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh man, I feel your pain!!  My fiance got me a marquis cut amethyst that is set horizontally.  I love it.  I love that it's non-traditional.  I love that it doesn't even really look like and engagement ring.  And when we first got engaged, and everyone wanted to see it, the first few times someone's face dropped when they saw it was really disheartening.  But I don't care anymore.  The more I thought about it, the more I realized how beautiful it is.  And how much time he spent agonizing over picking it out.  And how it's extra special because we both love purple so much. Don't let them get to you.  Everyone's got different tastes.  All that matters is that he spent time picking out what best suits yours!  Congrats.  :o)
    Posted by courtneyconger[/QUOTE]
  • that is really sweet and so true!!! :)


    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_people-dont-compliment-my-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:bd270482-2ca9-4cb3-9471-b4de34047c06Post:960a0823-b733-4bd8-96f9-e1f93c2d7379">Re: People don't compliment my ring</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to People don't compliment my ring : I know most othes have calmed your fearsI hope lol. Remember, to the world, you may be oen person but to one person, you may be the world. That ring is his symbol of his world, you. You are very lucky to have someone who will commit to you in that way =)
    Posted by FreeSpirit666[/QUOTE]
  • I wouldn't take it personally. I helped pick out my engagement ring, and I actually had one lady tell me to my face, "That's it? That doesn't look like an engagement ring at all. You should get a new one." I laughed and shrugged it off. My ring is perfect for me, even if it isn't traditional.

    Nobody is ever satified with the things other people choose. If you're happy with your ring, and the man who put it on your finger, it doesn't and shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks, and whether they compliment it or not. Personally, I'd rather people compliment me on the man I picked than on a ring he picked.
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