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To have or not have a Bridal shower for a destination wedding

sunshine234280sunshine234280 member
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I'm planning a destination wedding in Oct of this year. The question has arose if it is rude to have a bridal shower and invite all of the people we would've invited if the wedding were local, even though they are not invited to the destination wedding??????????
We are not having a reception or anything back home after the wedding either. So there are about 20 people of immediate family going. What should I do about the wedding shower??

Confused??
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Re: To have or not have a Bridal shower for a destination wedding

  • ExpatPumpkinExpatPumpkin member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited July 2010

    Sorry, but you don't get a shower.  Anyone invited to pre-wedding events must also be invited to the actual wedding. 

    By choosing to have a DW, you give up some of the perks of an at home wedding.  It's not a big deal, though.  Enjoy your DW, but turn down any offers of showers.

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  • PharmacyBridePharmacyBride
    500 Comments
    I agree.. there are rules about who you can invite to a shower.  It just appears very gift grabby to invite non-wedding guests to a shower.

    Like PP said.. there are certain things you give up when you decide to do a small or destination wedding.
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  • Lisa8888Lisa8888
    500 Comments
    I agree that they should not be invited to a shower if they aren't going to be invited to the wedding.
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  • Mrs.B6302007Mrs.B6302007 member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    no wedding invite means no shower invite
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10
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  • LesaBearLesaBear member
    100 Comments
    I would say it would be ok if you were going to invite these people to an AHR, but since you aren't having one, I'd say it's rude.
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  • laurachristine17laurachristine17 member
    First Comment
    What about having a shower type event that is more of a celebration before the wedding, so you can invite the people you would have invited to an at home wedding, so no one feels left out if you are concerned.. but make sure on the invite you put something telling people not to bring gifts... just a thought if you are having some pressure on the home front!
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  • ExpatPumpkinExpatPumpkin member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-bridal-shower-destination-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e69ddf2b-8580-4643-bf51-e364d71617aaPost:7eb0aa5b-f1b8-42be-b19a-16fdaf98b420">Re: To have or not have a Bridal shower for a destination wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]What about having a shower type event that is more of a celebration before the wedding, so you can invite the people you would have invited to an at home wedding, so no one feels left out if you are concerned.. but make sure on the invite you put something telling people not to bring gifts... just a thought if you are having some pressure on the home front!
    Posted by laurachristine17[/QUOTE]

    If she's going to throw a party to celebrate the wedding, wouldn't that basically be an at home reception?   Why not just throw after the wedding and skip all the confusion about what it really is? 

    And no mentioning of gifts on invites in any way, as it's not polite to have any expectation of gifts.  Writing "no gifts" means you anticipated gifts.
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