luckily, my parents and my inlaws would understand if we did not answer the door or the phone. and they would know it -- loudly and frequently.
Dear Amy: My husband's parents live in a different state and we see them infrequently, which my husband and I feel is enough.
He is not close to them and we do not look forward to our visits. My mother-in-law is manipulative and seems to view her time with us as an opportunity to educate us on how to live our lives. My father-in-law just checks out.
In the past when my husband confronted her about this, my mother-in-law ended up in tears. As a result, for the past few years we have just been quietly biding our time during our visits and have basically stopped questioning their "advice" while in their presence.
Given the infrequent visits, this approach has been tolerable.
However, now my in-laws have informed us they are planning to move to our area once they sell their house.
This was a bombshell. We were the last people they told. We feel violated and angry.
We are horrified at the idea of them inserting themselves into our lives this way.
Do we have the right to ask them not to move here? If not, how do we convey our need for space and limited contact with them?
We understand that they may be hurt, but for our sake, we must set some boundaries.
— Upset