Catholic Weddings

NFP Questions

Hi, I only just discovered this board; looking around, it seems quite awesome! Hope no one minds me joining.

I've seen a few threads about NFP and NFP-only doctors; as I'm not getting married for another 10 months, I haven't started worrying about it yet (maybe I should be?).

For those who are married, how early did you start learning NFP? Where would be a good idea to start with classes?

Does anyone know of any NFP-only doctors in California? I know it's a big state, but I'd be willing to travel for a doctor like that.

Thanks in advance!
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Re: NFP Questions

  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    i started about 2 months after the wedding - i DO NOT recommend this, as you ideally need to abstain for a good 3 months until you get the hang of it and know wehn you are "safe".  i say if you are 10 months out, you might as well start now - then you'll be good to go once you're married!

    there's a recent thread on here about NFP only doctors.  its certainly not required to have one in order to practice NFP, but it is very important to find one who at least supports you doing the method.  my doctor supports me, but i did have to get a referral to an ob-gyn about a year ago for an issue i had and that doctor thought i was nuts and told me id get pregnant.  needless to say, i had her do what she needed to do for my issue, and then i filed her name away on the list of someone i definitely dont want as my baby doctor if/when the time comes!  too bad too, as she seemed like a nice enough doctor, but clearly wasnt competent in the fertlitiy department.
  • newlyseliskinewlyseliski member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I started 9 months in advance (late July)... but only because I know my cycles are crazy and I needed extra time to get the hang of it and/or resolve any issues.  4-6 months should be adequate, I think!  It's just good stuff to know all around... being aware of your fertility is an awesome thing.
  • Riss91Riss91 member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I started about a month before...and I wish I had started earlier. I think it took me about 3-4 months to really feel confident in what I was doing. I say start as early as you can! I was able to learn the sympto-thermal method from reading TCOYF, so I haven't taken a class on it.  I was unable to find a NFP-only doctor in my area, so I chose to find an amazing doctor that would support my NFP lifestyle. I've been happy so far.
  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I think every woman should start when they are 18..... it is a basic part of monitoring health. It can take awhile to get the hang of it--- and if there are any health issues at all, longer. Start today.
  • edited December 2011
    I agree with others -- buy a copy of TCOYF today. Also buy a BBT thermomether and start using it. Start CM observations as soon as you can. I feel like the process is as much about good habits as it is about learning the rules.

    Also, you totally stole my name and I was momentarily confused when I saw your thread -- but I'll forgive you Wink! Great name. Welcome!!!
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  • edited December 2011
    I just started charting a few months ago.  We're getting married at the end of December and I think I have the hang of it.  We just finished a Couple to Couple League course.  I was pretty disappointed with it.  We were not required to take the class for our pre-cana but NFP was something I decided I wanted to try.  I signed up for it b/c I wanted to be in a class with others learning and be able to discuss charts and learn all the details.  But throughout the class they kept selling NFP to us.  I was so confused... I kept thinking "they're preaching to the choir, of course I agree that NFP is a good idea, stop selling it to the couples who chose to be here."  But at the end of the last session when we were supposed to review our charts together, all the other couples bolted out the door and it was just me wanting the teaching couple to look at my chart.  I was like, what the heck?  I'm scared to death b/c we're getting married next month and we're not financially ready for a baby.  The teaching couple said that most people take the class b/c their priest was really pushing it, not b/c they actually want to use the method.   I was really disappointed by this b/c I took the class to be able to talk with other girls that were charting too.  I guess I was hoping the class would be more discussion and less lecture.  If I could do it again, I would buy the set online and mail in my charts to be reviewed.  The class was good b/c it made my fiance really sit and learn about it.  And having 3 classes spread out over 3 months drilled the rules in for us but it wasn't what I was looking for.  You can buy a kit on the CCL website... and ask any questions on this board.  The ladies are very helpful!
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  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_nfp-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:830cc455-e9bd-4d05-a748-879feb16c4c2Post:30961e96-48f3-494b-bc26-dde0afee7007">Re: NFP Questions</a>:
    [QUOTE]I agree with others -- buy a copy of TCOYF today. Also buy a BBT thermomether and start using it. Start CM observations as soon as you can. I feel like the process is as much about good habits as it is about learning the rules. Also, you totally stole my name and I was momentarily confused when I saw your thread -- but I'll forgive you ! Great name. Welcome!!!
    Posted by bibliophile2010[/QUOTE]


    Just want to note that this is one method only. If you are doing a health record and are wanting to monitor for health issues, creighton method is connected to napro technology which can diagnose and treat health issues.
  • newlyseliskinewlyseliski member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    oh yes, and welcome to the board :)  the ladies on here are great!
  • LouWho19LouWho19 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for all your insight ladies...I'm getting married in 6 months and need to start looking for a doctor and get the thing of NFP!
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  • edited December 2011
    I just started charting last month, and I'm getting married next month.  It does take a while to get the hang of it.  We'll be attending our 3rd session this coming Saturday where I'll show her my chart and get some recommendations for us moving forward.  I would suggest, as PPs have, to start as soon as possible because you do need to abstain for a bit in order to get that first month of charting under your belt.  This wasn't a concern for us because we're waiting anyway, but I know not everyone is in the same boat.  I also saw my General Practitioner for my regular physical and he was able to recommend 2 NFP docs, so when it's time for my GYN appointment I'll be switching to one of them. 
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  • edited December 2011
    I just started charting today! I bought TCOYF and a thermometer.

    Good luck! And welcome!
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_nfp-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:830cc455-e9bd-4d05-a748-879feb16c4c2Post:5b76df91-28e0-486e-8d7e-a2da86f6f1b7">Re: NFP Questions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: NFP Questions : Just want to note that this is one method only. If you are doing a health record and are wanting to monitor for health issues, creighton method is connected to napro technology which can diagnose and treat health issues.
    Posted by agapecarrie[/QUOTE]

    I agree -- I'm actually probably going to switch to Crieghton (well, do my formal classes in Creighton and actually learn it (and use it) -- instead of my current half-hearted, knowing I still am going to take classes approach to ST). That said, I think TCOYF and its ST-type instruction is great for learning about your body and seeing what is happening. Plus, most ladies seem to choose ST, so getting into the habits of its practice are generally a good idea.
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  • catarntinacatarntina member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I'm getting married next week, and I'm on the 4th chart.  I highly recommend starting as soon as possible.  It takes some time to get used to.  I did not feel comfortable until about 3 months in to it -- and there are still somethings i'm unsure about that i have to reference.  I'm so glad I started charting 4 months ago, because I'll be putting it to actual use next week.  I don't think I would have been able to use it properly if i hadn't started earlier.
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  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    wallyandkristin, i'm sorry your experience was not the greatest!  its true, many churches require the NFP course, and so many couples knock it before even learning what it is or how healthy and effective it is.  they sadly just go through teh motions, sit in the class, tehn make fun of it at the bar with their friends.

    come here and ask questions anytime.  there are tons of us using a couple of different methods.
  • Riss91Riss91 member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    bree, I wondered those same things :-) Using birth control and/or other contraceptives such as condoms will prevent sex from resulting in pregnancy even during a fertile period. It's Catholic believe that the purpose of sex is always both for expressing love and for procreation. If you use birth control, you eliminate the procreation part.

    Practicing NFP is different in that there is no "barrier" or artificial prevention of pregnancy. The only reason sex may not result in pregnancy under NFP methods is due to nature (ie, you're having sex during an infertile period in your cycle). And, nothing is perfect, so even when you are having sex and practicing NFP to "avoid", as a Catholic you are to be open to becoming pregnant, in the event that happens. It is Catholic belief that we are to be open to procreation.

    I also personally think there is something to the "sacrifice" of abstaining during your fertile time so as to avoid pregnancy.
  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    It is impossible to practice NFP and use a hormonal birth control. Some hormonal birth control tries to stop ovulation (Even though it doesnt always succeed). If it stops ovulation, then there are no symptoms of fertility to observe.

    Why anyone would want to take a pill to make a functioning part of their body shut down is beyond me.

    I highly recommend Christopher West books: Good news about sex and marriage and "Theology of the body for beginners" They are quick reads, entertaining, and are excellent in explaining this.
  • kaitlyn142kaitlyn142 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_nfp-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:830cc455-e9bd-4d05-a748-879feb16c4c2Post:66d3eafe-6396-42db-a4bf-f78d0b5404a6">Re: NFP Questions</a>:
    [QUOTE]It is impossible to practice NFP and use a hormonal birth control. Some hormonal birth control tries to stop ovulation (Even though it doesnt always succeed). If it stops ovulation, then there are no symptoms of fertility to observe. Why anyone would want to take a pill to make a functioning part of their body shut down is beyond me.
    posted by agapecarrie[/QUOTE]

    Some women need to be on the pill in order to survive. I, personally, would be hospitalized two weeks out of every month without the pill.

    Also, hormonal BC doesn't prevent ovulation. It just keeps it from implanting.
  • Riss91Riss91 member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    bree - I understand your point - I had these same thoughts :-)
    It revolves arounds the means - we aren't called to have as many children as possible, but to be open to life and procreation. So if a couple wants to limit or space out their children, the means of which they do so matters. Marriage is a sacrament and sex is a physical sign of that sacrament. So, we are expected to have sex and we aren't required to have a million children. NFP allows the couple to experience the unitive aspect of the act while still respecting their bodies. The use of articifical birth control is a clear statement that you are not open to children, and it also takes away some of the dignity of the act.

    Kaitlyn/Bree - the idea that some pills allow ovulation and not implantation means that you may have fertilized eggs that you are forcing to be aborted. Not many women realize this and it's quite tragic.

    Also - there are acceptable health reasons to use the pill, and if you are suffering from a serious ailment, it's understandable. However, many women are put on the pill to correct their health issue, when they could actually go on other meds/supplements that resolve their problem without preventing pregnancy. Unfortunately, most women do not realize they have other options (mainly because most doctors just write BCP prescriptions without discussing other venues). Kaitllyn, I am very sorry that you're suffering, this isn't directed at you, just some food for thought....
  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Katilyn, there are many many docs who would disagree that the pill is needed for survival. There are many alternatives, that actually fix problems rather than masking them and covering them up, which is what the pill does. This is what Creighton method and Napro technology help with.

    The pill is first designed to prevent ovulation. If there is breakthrough ovulation, then the lining of the uterus is thinned and the baby is then terminated because it can't implant. This is a septic abortion. There are 5-7 septic abortions for every surgical one. To think of all those souls that exist that no one knows about! its terrible.

    Bree,
    "NOT" having sex is a non-act. It is doing nothing, which is basically the state everyone is in most of the time. There is no sin or wrong is not doing anything. Contraception is actually desecrating the act itself. In EPH 5, and many other places in scripture... it says that husbands and wives should love each other as Christ loved the church. Christ gave his whole self...body included, for the church. By contracepting, we are saying "I love everythign about you except your fertility". our souls and bodies are connected, and what we do with our bodies speaks a deeper meaning about who we are and what we are saying.

    Please read the West books.
  • mica178mica178 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Just piping in that there's a non-hormonal medication for menorrhagia.  I used to think the BCP was the only treatment, but now tranexamic acid has been approved for heavy menstrual bleeding.  There are alternatives to classic treatments everywhere if you look for them.

    Oh, and Kaitlyn, yes, hormonal BC does prevent ovulation and implantation.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_nfp-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:830cc455-e9bd-4d05-a748-879feb16c4c2Post:9ec89ef2-f890-428c-8da8-0c60568ca6f2">NFP Questions</a>:
    [QUOTE] Does anyone know of any NFP-only doctors in California? I know it's a big state, but I'd be willing to travel for a doctor like that. Thanks in advance!
    Posted by bibliophileemily[/QUOTE]

    One More Soul maintains a listing of NFP-only doctors...  Take a look at <a href="http://onemoresoul.com/nfp-directory">http://onemoresoul.com/nfp-directory</a>    I've found a couple doctors in my area who are NFP-only and not listed, but I think their list is a good starting point. 

    Also, when you start NFP classes, your teacher will likely have an idea of which doctors in the area are NFP-only, which ones are sympathetic to NFP, and which ones are completely opposed to NFP.  

    Good luck! 
  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_nfp-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:830cc455-e9bd-4d05-a748-879feb16c4c2Post:9a39f783-4227-4732-9f91-f59fe9dad2e4">Re: NFP Questions</a>:
    [QUOTE]Rissa- You are so understanding!  Thanks for informing me without making me feel like I'm doing something wrong.  As I am not Catholic, I don't practice many things that Catholics do- but I do like to have knowledge about why others do what they do. Agape- Personally, I do not feel that by using contraception I would be telling my partner that "I love everything about you except your fertility."  If that's how you feel, then well, that's how you feel.  By using contraception I would be making a responsible choice for my life- just like I could choose to use NFP or any other method.  You seem very knowledgeable, which is awesome, but your posts frequently seem to come across to me as attacking, or looking down on somebody.  Different people make different choices- I love when you respond because you give me a lot of information to look into, yet you also make me feel like I'm doing something wrong.  There is a way to inform people (and you can actually sway people much easier) if you come across accepting and not judging.  Just something to think about.
    Posted by bree4305[/QUOTE]
    It's not an opinion, or how I "Feel". it is natural law.

    That's exactly the point though. Contraception IS wrong. It is against natural law, and it is an objective truth. It's not ME that's making you feel like you're doing something wrong. I'm explaining the truth as in not only what the church teaches, but as what Christ taught in the Scriptures. Because one's behavior does not match up to that, that means there is wrong there. (This is to everyone, not just you, etc). When CHrist teaches forgiveness, and someone reiterates that, and I realize myself how I have not forgiven, then I should see that it is wrong...not try to rationalize that being unforgiving is ok, and I'm just being attacked. I don't try to change the truth.

    I simply state truth without emotion.

    Truth is not relative to what we want or desire it to believe. It is not up for vote or popular opinion. just because someone belives that 2+2=5 does not make it so. I just explained why when Christ gave himself Completely--- no boundaries, no barriers, whole body, nothing held back, this calls us to do the same with our spouse. To give ourselves completely. Marriage is supposed to image the love of Christ to the church, and ultimately the trinity (love between the father and son is so complete that it results in a third being). This is the love between 2 people is so complete it results in a 3rd being. When we put barriers up we are grasping at trying to become like God. and desecrating the very act that God gave us to have a taste of the divine.
    This is explained in the West books very well. I beg you to read these books.
  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
     Personally, I do not feel that by using contraception I would be telling my partner that "I love everything about you except your fertility."  If that's how you feel, then well, that's how you feel.  By using contraception I would be making a responsible choice for my life- just like I could choose to use NFP or any other method. 

    bree, i throw you a bone on this one because you dont have the benefit of being catholic and having a full understanding of the church's position on contraception.  i think if you explored the books agape suggested you would find a lot more in depth answers about the church teaching on this issue.  you ultimately still might make the same choice regarding BC - but at least youd have the full understanding of where the church is coming from.  i think for someone withouth a catholic background, ti would be extremely hard to understand, particularly coupled with various stereotypes out there (i.e., catholics have a lot of kids, catholics are encouraged to have as many as possible, etc.)
  • edited December 2011
    I'm going to jump in on this to describe my personal experience because it shows both sides of the equation.
    I was not born Catholic and had no understanding. Most of you on here know that I recently converted this year and am slowly learning what Catholic's believe. I always knew Catholics did not believe in abortion and bcp, and after reading the posts above I have a better understanding of why. I didn't realize that the understanding was that taking bcp is basically aborting a potential child every month.

    I was put on BCP at 16 for acne and never really thought anything of it. I then used it for birth control because I was already on it and didn't know any other way besides barrier methods. I honestly had NEVER heard of NFP before joining the RCIA and it was never discussed in the classes. It also wasn't even brought up with our upcoming marriage or our marriage prep class. I found out on my own research.

    I've been having a lot of problems lately with my reproductive health and decided enough was enough. I figure if Catholics (most of them) all over the world use NFP successfully, then why can't I. After discussing with FI, we chose this week to go off BCP and am learning NFP. I have yet to find a course in my area, but the TCOYF book is amazingly helpful. 

    I'm still new at NFP, don't know much about it and have a lot of catching up to do. My choice to go off bcp isn't solely rooted in my faith, but it is starting to play a part in it.

    I'm not sure if that helps you Bree, but I do understand where you're coming from.
  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I want to clarify something said earlier...the church isn't against a medicine that helps...even if a secondary effect might be infertility.

    I (And the rest of the nfp-only docs, nurses, etc) are challenging the idea that it really helps at all. This isn't rooted in Catholic moral theology, but in the science of it.

    These are 2 different issues of hormonal BC...the morality of it as a contraceptive, and the "medicinal" part of it. 

    When people ask "can i be on the pill for health reasons" , there are 2 different answers. MOrally, the answer is yes, but because we care, we are going to challenge the idea that its taking care of any health reason, and actually hurting you more.

    There is a book called "Fatherless" that explores this...its a fictional story of characters, but well researched facts about the pill and other hormonal contraceptives causing breast cancer and abortions.
  • lcsnowflakelcsnowflake member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_nfp-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:830cc455-e9bd-4d05-a748-879feb16c4c2Post:ad7f49bc-29ef-4a16-ba5a-26c3f63eeda7">Re: NFP Questions</a>:
    [QUOTE] When people ask "can i be on the pill for health reasons" , there are 2 different answers. MOrally, the answer is yes, but because we care, we are going to challenge the idea that its taking care of any health reason, and actually hurting you more. [/QUOTE]

    I'm just jumping in here, but I was raised Catholic and am on BC for health reasons.  I heard people mention using it for acne and other problems, but I was told by my GYN that I could either be on BC or get ovarian cysts that could lead to cancer.  Now perhaps there are other methods and my GYN was pushing BC (as people suggested), however these were the options given to me.  I'm not sure how BC is "hurting me more" - more than what?  more than having cysts removed? More than the cysts potentially turning into cancer?  Without having heard your GYN give you the choice between a pill and cancer, I don't think thats a fair statement.
  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Actually, its very fair. As I said earlier, there are many many docs who disagree that the pill does anything to help. It shuts down a working (or strugging to work) reproductive system. It causes cancer itself, the synthetic hormones are being peed into the water and effecting other people and wildlife, its masking the symptoms and hurting you more than if you were to actually fix the problem.

    It's like having a headache every day in the same spot, and just taking more and more painkillers for it. It just covers it up. Instead, one goes to get a mri, find out what is causing the headache, and cure that.

    Ovarian cysts can many times be helped with Metformin, change in diet.

    I have PCOS and metformin and change in diet has cured it. Never once went on the pill.


  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011

    doctors push the pill for 2 reasons.  first, its money.  its a lot more profitable for a doctor to prescribe a pill than it is to teach you methods that dont require medication.  second, its ignorance and/or liability.  

    there are some very smart doctors out there that simply have no clue about charting, how it works or the benefits of doing it.    the liability comes in where as PP stated, it was "the pill or cancer".  if the doc didnt offer the pill, but rather offered other methods, and those methods failed, he'd probably some how be sued for not prescribing the pill.  but i still think both options should be given, adn teh patient should have the choice of which treatment avenue to pursue.

  • mica178mica178 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    NFP/charting is not part of the medical school curriculum.  At my medical school, a bunch of women's health interest groups had to petition the school to give a lecture on normal fertility and pregnancy since our curriculum only covered diseases!  The school finally consented but gave the lecture (that's right, it was given as a single hour lecture) during off-hours, so many students missed the lecture. 
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_nfp-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:830cc455-e9bd-4d05-a748-879feb16c4c2Post:f60d29eb-1776-4798-9f28-f72dca91a83c">Re: NFP Questions</a>:
    [QUOTE]NFP/charting is not part of the medical school curriculum.  At my medical school, a bunch of women's health interest groups had to petition the school to give a lecture on normal fertility and pregnancy since our curriculum only covered diseases!  The school finally consented but gave the lecture (that's right, it was given as a single hour lecture) during off-hours, so many students missed the lecture. 
    Posted by mica178[/QUOTE]

    I sent the TCOYF book to my friend who loves all things natural. She read it and was shocked at how easy it is. The first thing she said when she called me was "Why don't they teach this an an option? It was save so much agony and make us so much more aware of ourselves."
    I think they way things are now, we have the responsibility to teach the women around us about their other options because the medical community doesn't seem set on doing it. Yes there are doctors out there, but it's not advertised. Obviously because it's not good for consumerism. I'm 25 and in all honesty, I heard about NFP just last year. tha'ts crazy!!
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