Engagement Party Etiquette

Re: Engagement Party Etiquette

• iamjoesgurl member

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  You are correct that guests invited to an engagement party should be invited to the wedding.  I understand your reasoning for not inviting them all to the wedding.  I would talk to your parents about it.  I'm sure you appreciate their desire to want to celebrate with you, but especially since they threw another party for you earlier this year, it seems like too much. 

  
  

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• katanne9 member

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  Yep! Don't invite them to the e-party unless they are coming to the wedding.
  
  Honestly, I also don't see the point of huge e-parties. Our close friends threw us one - it was our parents, siblings and best friends.
  
  I do not think combining this with "passing the bar" is an appropriate reason for adding the extra people. I would just keep your parents essential guests.
  
  
  Have fun : )
  

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• EsquireJL member

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  Thanks for your quick and thoughtful responses. It seems The Knot had another  article that addressed my question.
  http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-questions/engagement-questions/qa/whos-invited-to-engagement-party.aspx
  
  Apparently there are two exceptions to the rule
  "if your engagement party guest list will be significantly larger than your wedding day guest list, or if your party is being hosted by an outside party -- someone who has no idea who will be included on your wedding guest list."
  
  Who knew? Thanks again!
  

  

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• AshNoel8

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  Another option is to invite the church community to a picnic or party after your wedding and honeymoon. My fiance and I are both teachers in the same school district (but different buildings). We would love to invite all of our co-workers to our wedding, but it's just not financially possible. So, we are only inviting 4 people from our district (the only ones we spend time with outside of work) and then having a picnic after the honeymoon for all of our work buddies. It is a more affordable way of celebrating with everyone. Just a thought. 

  

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• heyimbren member

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_engagement-party-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:9216c763-2f75-4353-b4b1-fe516b344bedPost:4cc3f2e5-327f-41bc-beb4-dcf700101fd1">Re: Engagement Party Etiquette</a>:
  [QUOTE]Thanks for your quick and thoughtful responses. It seems The Knot had another  article that addressed my question. <a rel="nofollow" href="http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-questions/engagement-questions/qa/whos-invited-to-engagement-party.aspx">http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-questions/engagement-questions/qa/whos-invited-to-engagement-party.aspx</a> Apparently there are two exceptions to the rule "if your engagement party guest list will be significantly larger than your wedding day guest list, or if your party is being hosted by an outside party -- someone who has no idea who will be included on your wedding guest list." Who knew? Thanks again!
  Posted by EsquireJL[/QUOTE]
  
  Just please note that the advice and suggestions you get from the boards are not always in agreement with TK articles.
  
  Personally, I don't see an etiquette-acceptable exception to this rule. I also really don't understand why an e-party would be so large... Can you talk to your parents and explain that you would only like to invite those to the e-party who will also be invited to the wedding?
  
  Also, another option could be an at-home reception in NY after the wedding. A lot of people do that when they're having a DW.

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• MrsTucker2011 member

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  Our parents threw one for us, and there were people who we know we can't invite cuz of space limitations.
  I think everyone knows that we'd love to have everyone come, but it's impossible unless we win the lotto! haha

  An engaged woman is always more agreeable than a disengaged. She is satisfied with herself. Her cares are over, and she feels that she may exert all her powers of pleasing without suspicion. All is safe with a lady engaged; no harm can be done. ~Jane Austen

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• EsquireJL member

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  Update: I spoke to my parents and they have agreed not to have an engagement party. I really want to keep the wedding and surrounding events small. Thanks again for all the feedback.

  

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