Wedding Invitations & Paper

Attire on invite II

I read the post on putting "Black tie optional" on the invite.  I'm conflicted on if I should list on my invites or just call people who I am concerned about.

Our venue is a private club with a dress code. Men MUST wear a coat AND tie or they will have to wear one of the clubs that probably been around since 1950.

Do you think I should list of just stick with a follow up phone call so they are aware of the rules of the club?

I don't think anyone will be dressed inappropriate (in my opinion) but I do know a few people who do not like ties but would wear a suit coat and dress shirt.  I would hate for them to be forced to wear a tie from the club.

Re: Attire on invite II

  • Attire required by a venue is an exception to the normal "you don't put attire on the invitation" rule.  

    Make an insert, copy the attire policy word for word, and put something like "[venue name] requires attire as follows:"  
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_attire-invite-ii?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:2825e48e-5273-4bfc-b4a3-4171e977e77aPost:4cc7d621-55c8-44dc-860d-94bd60cb98c0">Re: Attire on invite II</a>:
    [QUOTE]Attire required by a venue is an exception to the normal "you don't put attire on the invitation" rule.   Make an insert, copy the attire policy word for word, and put something like "[venue name] requires attire as follows:"  
    Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]

    Yup.  If it's your "rule" it's rude.  If it's the venue's rule, it's courteous to include it.
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    Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
  • Ditto the others.  The two exceptions to the "no attire on the invitations" rule are when the venue has a dress code, and when the wedding is full-out black tie.  I'm sure your guests will appreciate the heads up.
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  • I don't see anything wrong with putting that type of request on the invite. I've received invitations to balls with that on 'black tie' on the invite.  I would clarify on your wedding website, letting people know it is a club rule. Make sure the bridal party knows, they can reinforce by word of mouth. If there is someone you are worried about, give them a call (or your fiance if it is "his" guest). Talk to them for a while and try and steer the conversation towards the wedding and then mention that policy of your venue is suit and tie. (If you are worried about Uncle Jeff, call his wife and catch up with her for a bit and then start talking about how excited you are to see them at your wedding and go from there.) Hope that helps!
  • Yeah, ditto PPs. Making people dress in "black tie" for the sake of just having your guests look a certain way is rude. Venue policy is a different matter! If you have a website I would also put it on there, perhaps with a link to the venue's dress code policy.
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  • Honestly, I would wonder what kind of people you're inviting if I got an invitation like that because of course men would be wearing coat and tie to a wedding at a private club. If it's only a handful of people you're worried about, I'd let them know individually. Or maybe put something on the website. But I personally wouldn't put it anywhere on the invitation.
  • edited April 2010
    [QUOTE]Honestly, I would wonder what kind of people you're inviting if I got an invitation like that because of course men would be wearing coat and tie to a wedding at a private club.[/QUOTE]

    LOL I think you are correct, but not everyone is like you and I. 

    It's not like the guests would come dressed like a bum but my uncle for example is fond of sweaters so he would probably wear slacks, a dress shirt, tie and a sweater. Also a few friends would wear a suit but no tie.

    If the reception was anywhere else I would not care about the tie and sweater or suit and no tie.  I do not think it's tacky.  I've seen it done very tastefully.


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  • Reception
    at six o'clock in the evening
    North Wedding Country Club
    3233 Wedding Club Drive

    Coat and tie required

    This is fine.
    DIY & Planning | Married 

    Married: 2010
    Mom to J: 2011
    Mom to H: 2014

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    Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
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