Tacky?!

ashlieandfrank · January 2011

SO, I was just having a conversation with one of my bridesmaids who is also engaged and she was talking about her sister-in-law's wedding that she went to last weekend and how she thought it was tacky that at the end, the bride was waiting with the guests for the shuttle and then hanging out with everyone in the hotel bar...

...problem being, that's what I was planning on doing! I stated my case to her, but she just insisted that it takes away from the magic of your wedding night. My case being that me and my FI live together (for 2 1/2 years as of our "magical wedding night") and I thought we'd both rather hang out with everyone and make the most of our day.

What are your thoughts? Is this tacky? TRASHY? Ugh, I'm so fixated on making this wedding classy and beautiful that I can't imagine people saying that my wedding was tacky for this reason...

badkittyct · January 2011

Are you kidding? Every wedding I have been to the B&G run off so fast I have no clue where they went. I would love for them to stick around a bit and spend time with us when the pressure is off. Let her be judgemental...

csnyc727 · January 2011

its your day, do what you want to do. don't do things you don't want to do just to please other people. have fun.....

kellybee83 · January 2011

I don't think so at all! It was important to us to find a hotel with a lounge because we want to spend more time with our guests. I know our wedding will be a classy affair, and I don't think spending 2 hours at the hotel bar/lounge with guests after makes it any less so. My MOH lives in Boston, and another lives in MA as well. FI's best man lives in AZ, my dad's best friend is coming from CA, and we have others coming from out of state as well. We want to spend as much time with them (and the other guests staying over) as possible. My parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins are staying over as well. While I don't expect my grandparents to stay up until 2am, I do anticipate many of our relatives stopping by the lounge for a little while. And my family is by no means a big drinking crowd.
(In my opinion) you shouldn't change what you were planning on doing, and wanted to do just because of your bridesmaid doesn't feel the same way as you.

Laurms15 · January 2011

Every wedding I've been to I've hung out w/ the bride and groom post reception either at the hotel bar or in a hotel room where we brought our own food/drinks. I've never thought it was tacky. Its nice to spend a little more time wth our guests. We figured we had the whole honeymoon to be together by ourselves.

for what its worth even the wedding where my friend and her husband had NEVER had a "night alone" hung out with us THEN found the time to have their "special night" after.

jchristel · January 2011

Tacky? I guess we were tacky then . We were in the hotel bar with our guests until 3 AM (one of our guests bought about 40 beers when the bar was closing, so the bartenders lined them up on the bar before they closed up and about 20 of us stayed until the beer was gone) It was the only time of the day that we actually relaxed because all of the craziness was over.

annandted86 · January 2011

First of all, I'm always fascinated by people who are judgemental enough to suggest that someone was being tacky at their own wedding; especiially when they're doing nothing more than hanging out with friends and family!

Do what makes you happy. That said, I think there's no reason why your wedding night can't be special no matter how long you've been together.

kasabby · January 2011

Really? Tacky? I have been to plenty of weddings where the B&G have done the same thing. I planned on doing it as well--as long as I am not exhausted!

I guess everyone has an opinion....

goaliegirl · January 2011

If so, I guess we were tacky then...not only did we ride the shuttle with our guests back to the hotel, we hung out at the bar with them, and then had pizza and beer in our room after that....we partied with our guests until the wee hours of the morning!!!! Honestly, after all the craziness of the day, it was nice to relax and hang out with our friends and family and know that the wedding craziness was over. I say go for it, who the heck cares what anybody has to say!

squeakylyn · January 2011

I planned on doing this exact same thing. FI and I have been living together for over 2 years, and all of our friends and family are coming from out of state, we would rather spend time with them while they're here, because when is the next time all of us will be together like that. Our wedding also ends around 5:00 PM so we'll have plenty of time to hang out with friends and family, and enjoy our wedding night together.

Heather822 · January 2011

I agree.... just do what you want & don't caer what other people think.

We did stop in at a party our family was having in their hotel room, but just for a little bit. We did want to spend a little time alone with just each other on our wedding day. So we got the best of both worlds!

kristen8040 · January 2011

I guess I'm just tacky then. Besides, it'll be my 25th birthday at midnight after the wedding and I can't think of any other way I'd rather spend it than with all my friends and family at the hotel bar.

uppereastgirl · January 2011

I'm very picky, and I don't find that tacky or trashy at all.

LADY324 · January 2011

That is so not tacky. That is called being a fun chill bride who wants to celebrate!! I am going to wear an after party dress that is just a cute white strapless that my friend wore for hers!! We are going to have beer at the hotel for afterwards and I am also looking into having a couple of white castle crave cases for everyone to eat at the hotel afterwards. We pretty much have done this after all of our friends weddings!!

mbcdefg · January 2011

Unless the bride was going keg stands, or vomiting from too many shots, I don't see what your BM's problem was.

I wonder if she just dislikes her SIL in general, and thinks she's tacky/trashy in regular life, and that clouded her opinion?

I don't know what she expected the bride to do ... ride away in a Rolls Royce at the end of the night, and go back to the hotel and eat tea and crumpets?

uppereastgirl · January 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:f138efd4-8379-4b35-84bb-4e9aeff2e44aPost:8f72b293-1539-42bd-bda2-9321c75f7659">Re: Tacky?!</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't know what she expected the bride to do ... ride away in a Rolls Royce at the end of the night, and go back to the hotel and eat tea and crumpets?
Posted by mbcdefg[/QUOTE]

<div>I wonder if the lack of separate transportation for the bride and groom was the issue? Meaning, she thought the bride and groom should have sprung for a limo or town car for themselves? I guess that's a little more elegant, but at the last two weddings I went to the bride and groom took the drunk bus back to the hotel with everyone else, and it was kind of nice that they were with everyone then.</div><div>
</div><div>And I don't see what could possibly be tacky about an afterparty? Was the issue that the drinks weren't paid for or something? Playing freeze tag with some of my best friends on my venue's lawn (where cocktail hour was) at 3 am is one of my favorite memories of our wedding.
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mbcdefg · January 2011

I took the last (free) shuttle bus back to the hotel with our bridal party and a few friends ... no way was I spending more money for a fancy private car. I can't imagine that any of our guests would've given a rat's ass how we got away from the reception.

uppereastgirl · January 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:f138efd4-8379-4b35-84bb-4e9aeff2e44aPost:ba740225-e681-476e-999f-758dd43481e4">Re: Tacky?!</a>:
[QUOTE]I took the last (free) shuttle bus back to the hotel with our bridal party and a few friends ... no way was I spending more money for a fancy private car. I can't imagine that any of our guests would've given a rat's ass how we got away from the reception.
Posted by mbcdefg[/QUOTE]

<div>Agreed. I think that's something that if people get judgey about, they themselves deserve to be judged for being judgey about something so stupid :)</div><div>
</div><div>And hey -- it was nice of the couple to have a shuttle in the first place.</div>

ashlieandfrank · January 2011

I love all of your responses and I agree with you 100%...

I guess her view on it caught me off guard a little and made me think outside the box. The only thing that I could come up with is that the people that I know (& yes, they still exist...) that didnt have sex until they were married were the only ones who were "whisked away" and didnt hang out with everyone afterwards.

I'm so glad that we're not being tacky because out of all of your responses, it seems hers was the only one that thought it was! Majority rules

cindy91788 · January 2011

I agree, definitely not tacky, and I plan on doing the same thing.. maybe your BM is smokin' something..lol

uppereastgirl · January 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:f138efd4-8379-4b35-84bb-4e9aeff2e44aPost:8926abad-79a5-4bbf-b52f-aea981d6e009">Re: Tacky?!</a>:
[QUOTE] The only thing that I could come up with is that the people that I know (& yes, they still exist...) that didnt have sex until they were married were the only ones who were "whisked away" and didnt hang out with everyone afterwards.
Posted by ashlieandfrank[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>See, that part isn't tacky to me, but is kind of icky. Maybe I'm weird, but I don't like to think "okay, we're going to the hotel bar, and they're going upstairs to take each other's virginities." Also, there's no rule that people can't have sex after an afterparty.

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WeLoveLilo05 · January 2011

We are having our ceremony, cocktail hour, and reception all in one place. There's a little bridal suite that the owner told us to bring sweats and change into after the reception and whoever wants to stay in the lounge area where we are having the cocktail hour is more than welcome to stay for drinks til 2am. We thought that was pretty nice to be able to hang out with really close family and friends (who we know will want to stay and party later with us) after the big shindig lol. I think thats nice, it gives you some personal time with those who you are really close to.

Faith2730 · January 2011

Every wedding that I have went to the bride and groom hung out in the hotel lobby with everyone! I don't think its tacky at all! I plan on doing it too!

ashlieandfrank · January 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:f138efd4-8379-4b35-84bb-4e9aeff2e44aPost:3fc4da2c-caaa-4d60-929d-1319e46c26ce">Re: Tacky?!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Tacky?! : See, that part isn't tacky to me, but is kind of icky. Maybe I'm weird, but I don't like to think "okay, we're going to the hotel bar, and they're going upstairs to take each other's virginities." Also, there's no rule that people can't have sex after an afterparty.
Posted by uppereastgirl[/QUOTE]

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</div><div>haha! I agree and I've thought the SAME exact thing when attending those weddings!</div>

[Deleted User] · January 2011

excuse me for saying it this way but : what the F is she talking about?

everybody i know has had an "after party" of some sort at the hotel bar after the recption. the only reason i don't think FI and I will do the same is because we'll probably be exhausted but you never know...

Seriously?

Out of everything to pick from she thinks THAT's tacky???

JerseyML · January 2011

According to your BM I am super tacky.

We are planning a two hour booze/fun finger foods/music after party. I can have the magic of my wedding night at 2:30-300am when the night is over...if my FI is still alive by then. Ok lets be honest..if I can even find him after that.

TaraK22 · January 2011

i'm joining the tacky group ;-) i'm actually really excited to continue the party with my guests in the hotel lounge/bar!

cindy91788 · January 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:f138efd4-8379-4b35-84bb-4e9aeff2e44aPost:b820c3ed-6144-4a52-92d5-45690a727f4f">Re: Tacky?!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Tacky?! : haha! I agree and I've thought the SAME exact thing when attending those weddings!
Posted by ashlieandfrank[/QUOTE]
Same here!! I think it is awkward and somewhat weird when the bride and groom disappear and don't go to the afterparty..its like you know what they are doing, and that weirds me out.. even though you know they will do it later.. lol...just wait until after the party!!

ashlieandfrank · January 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:f138efd4-8379-4b35-84bb-4e9aeff2e44aPost:19a3e6f1-7ccb-4fb2-8e85-ddadaf10ed9b">Re: Tacky?!</a>:
[QUOTE]According to your BM I am super tacky. We are planning a two hour booze/fun finger foods/music after party. I can have the magic of my wedding night at 2:30-300am when the night is over...if my FI is still alive by then. <strong>Ok lets be honest..if I can even find him after that.</strong>
Posted by JerseyML[/QUOTE]

<div>HAHAHA love it!</div><div>
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JerseyML · January 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:f138efd4-8379-4b35-84bb-4e9aeff2e44aPost:48bb4266-6bba-404a-96d2-16f4503a0e26">Re: Tacky?!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Tacky?! : HAHAHA love it!
Posted by ashlieandfrank[/QUOTE]

Haha he WILL be the one who is lying face down in the grass w/o his shoes on who will only wake up when the sprinkler system turns on. I am marrying Billy Madison.

wedwed11 · January 2011

I don't think that is tacky at all!! How weird that she thought it was. How does she think most brides get back to the hotel? And who cares?!
I would do what you want and have fun with your friends after your wedding and let her do what she wants but I think it's fun to hang out afterwards if your not too tired!

Tacky?!

Re: Tacky?!

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