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Wedding Etiquette Forum
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Friends won a big wedding...the day before ours
I'm getting married to a wonderful man in just about two months. This weekend, two of our friends won an extravagant wedding...the night before our own small/simple/budget conscious wedding. I'm feeling really diminished right now: we won't be able to attend the wedding because it overlaps with our family reunion/rehearsal the night before; the friend is a groomsman in the wedding and was supposed to do a reading; most of the other groomsmen and many of the guests are mutual friends and now have to choose between the two events; the new wedding has everything from 200 guests to fireworks and ours...doesn't.
I have so many worries and feelings going though my head right now but two main concerns. I'm afraid no one will come or people will be too hung over to attend our wedding and that ours just won't be as fun/exciting as the wedding the night before. I'm just afraid in general! I would love your advice about how to handle this situation in general. Thanks, fellow knotties!
I have so many worries and feelings going though my head right now but two main concerns. I'm afraid no one will come or people will be too hung over to attend our wedding and that ours just won't be as fun/exciting as the wedding the night before. I'm just afraid in general! I would love your advice about how to handle this situation in general. Thanks, fellow knotties!
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Re: Friends won a big wedding...the day before ours
don't let it get you down. the people who you truly want to be there will be.
I'd feel the same way.
{pwanning}{mawwied}
It's okay to have all of the feelings you're having, or to feel a little deflated, but try to be happy for your friends and just remember what your wedding is really about - marrying your FI. There's nothing else you can do.
As far as people missing your wedding, is your wedding in the morning or evening? Is it a Sunday and the other one is on a Saturday night? I would hope that your good friends would make an effort to still attend yours in reasonable condition (not too hungover) or at least hide it well for your sake.
I do feel for you, but try to stay focused on what really matters
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BFP 8/01/12, EDD 04/10/12, mm/c @ 6wks, discovered at 8wks, D&C 9/05/12
I wouldn't get yourself down and compare the two - it's apples to oranges.
Be proud of your day that you planned. I don't see anyone choosing one over the other because they are on different days.
Free things would have been nice at our wedding, but I think planning it had a lot to do with how much I loved our day and why I'll remember it so fondly.
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Married 9/15/11
*This is Not Legal Advice*
Everyone who is here who IS already married always comes back with some form of advice saying "Oh, on that day, you won't even notice _______." As someone who is planning, that sounds impossible Of course I will notice! OF COURSE I WILL. But yet, they all come back saying "I thought this and this, but that day, it was the furthest thing from my mind."
It sounds impossible in the lead up to the wedding, but put as much trust as you can in the fact that on that particular day, you won't even cast this a thought. It'll probably be impossible not to dwell on it a little as your approach your own wedding, but try really hard to believe that it won't even matter a bit that day.
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About the STDs, yes, we sent them our around Christmas (got engaged August 2009) and we mailed our invites the week before they won the wedding.
I think people will understand that wedding #1 is going to be over-the-top because it was a contest prize. No one will expect the same thing at yours. People who are going to be at your wedding will be there to support and celebrate with you, not judge and compare events all night.
And I would not worry a lot about people not showing up for yours after theirs. People might be excited to have two fun events in one weekend.
it's your wedding and your special day, unique memories....you will be showing wedding pics to your children one day and I doubt you will bring up, remember or care that someone else's wedding was the night before....
Planning!.....Married!
Like Dani, I'm wondering why people have to choose between the weddings if they're on separate days? Or was that in reference to your RD (that makes more sense).
I get being concerned about being hung over- that would be my main concern. It's a bad situation, but I'd try to approach it as though it's just a continuation of parties. There's not a lot else you can do, by the sounds of it.
Also, if it helps: As a guest, I would be far more impressed by the thought out wedding that matches the bride and grooms' style than I would be by the impersonal, oot wedding that was won.