Engagement Party & Registry

MrsETC · May 2010

I was wondering whether or not to include any registry information with my engagement party invitations? I never would have thought to do so, but my Fiance's brother got married last year, and at their engagement party most of the guests brought gifts for them that they bought from the registry. I know her family is very close so she probably got the word out on their registry by mouth, but my family (and his) are very spread out (there are many rifts in my family and everyone is coming together for my wedding, but would not share information between each other).

Should I then include registry information with the engagement invites? Or how do I get the word out for our registry? I don't want people to get upset/embarressed because they didn't have the correct information......

Thanks!

shellydiane820 · May 2010

The only invitation that should include registry info is your shower. Its rude to include it in engagement party invites and wedding invites.

Mrs.B6302007 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_engagement-party-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a4e108c0-9b0a-4425-ba4f-28b90db412a9Post:9f5fe33a-95ef-4545-af0b-063546fb9701">Engagement Party & Registry</a>:
[QUOTE]I was wondering whether or not to include any registry information with my engagement party invitations? I never would have thought to do so, but my Fiance's brother got married last year, and at their engagement party most of the guests brought gifts for them that they bought from the registry. I know her family is very close so she probably got the word out on their registry by mouth, but my family (and his) are very spread out (there are many rifts in my family and everyone is coming together for my wedding, but would not share information between each other). Should I then include registry information with the engagement invites? Or how do I get the word out for our registry? I don't want people to get upset/embarressed because they didn't have the correct information...... Thanks!
Posted by MrsETC[/QUOTE]
E parties are not usually gift giving events. Yes, some guests might bring a little something but it's not the same as a shower so no to the registry info in the invites. Your family can spread the the registry info word of mouth if necessary.

psichick · May 2010

you're throwing your own eparty?

brookelynpaisley · May 2010

The engagement party is also usually shortly after the engagement. How were they registered so quickly? And you should not be throwing your own engagement party. It's usually hosted by one or the other set of parents. If no one offers, you don't get one.

topchef33 · May 2010

I would never expect guests to bring gifts to an engagement party. If they bring something, it should be of their choosing.

We didn't have an e-party. When we got engaged it was a couple of months before Christmas, so my mom was like well maybe after all of the holidays we'll have one....then there's a lot of bdays around the beginning of the yr.....then it got to be over 6 month after our engagement so I just said don't worry about it.

She still wants to put an engagement announcement in the paper....uhh mom we've been engaged over 2 1/2 yrs....I don't think so lol. I told her if she wants she can put a wedding announcement in the paper and that's it.

Catwoman708 · May 2010

NO! You don't register for engagement parties, and you don't include registry information on, or in with invitations. (It's technically unmannerly, but somewhat acceptable to include it only with shower invitations, which is the only traditional party where guests give wedding presents). The only acceptable way to get the word out about registries is after someone has ASKED for it.

Engagement parties are not typically gift giving occasions. Well, e-gifts are common in some areas, but that is kind of a "mutant strain". If people give gifts, it's usally something small, similar to a hostess gift, like a bottle of wine, flowers, candy, or a small gift.

Most people don't usually throw their own e-party anyway. Traditionally, the parents do the e-party as away to announce the engagement to family and friends.

And personally, I'd make sure the wedding guest list was locked in, and not invite anyone to pre-wedding events (e-parties, showers, bachelorettes), that are not also invited to the wedding.

ootmother2 · May 2010

I see you live in Long Island and engagement parties are gift giving occasions there.

register but don't put the info out on the invitations or website. Those who want to bring gift will know to check.

however, gifts for engagement parties are usually on the small side. A picture frame, bottle of wine, toasting flutes, etc.

I woulld not expect guest to consult a registry

Mrs.B6302007 · May 2010

OOT has spoken.

ootmother2 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_engagement-party-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a4e108c0-9b0a-4425-ba4f-28b90db412a9Post:fa67deda-632a-4204-8ea1-de2f1f5fe1fc">Re: Engagement Party & Registry</a>:
[QUOTE]OOT has spoken.
Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]

haha

have you missed me/

:P

tenofcups4me · May 2010

I wouldn't put any registry info in the invitations. Guests will find out about the registry by asking parents or the couple.

But I would register. In my crowd, engagement parties ARE gift-giving events and people do buy off the registry. And you know that's what people in your FH's family do too since you've recently been to an enagement party on that side.

I didn't have an engagement party, but still got a lot of engagement gifts, almost all of them from the registry, including all our crystal, a good bit of our flatware, serving pieces, pots and pans, etc. I didn't register for china, but I'm sure I would have gotten some of that if we had.

Mrs.B6302007 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_engagement-party-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a4e108c0-9b0a-4425-ba4f-28b90db412a9Post:7c52fbc0-cdc3-4558-9a36-616bb3ee8d2e">Re: Engagement Party & Registry</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Engagement Party & Registry : haha have you missed me/ :P
Posted by ootmother2[/QUOTE]

Of course! =-)

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