He hates the idea of engagement photos!

emmalujeske · January 2011

I'm not engaged yet, but he has hinted that it'll be within the next 6 months.

What's bothering me is that he HATES the idea of engagement photos! But I LOVE them!

Advice on how to bring him around?

NOLAbridealmost · January 2011

Aww....bummer! I was worried that my FI would hate it because is ordinarily pretty shy and I didn't think he'd like being the center of attention. But ended up hamming it up and having a great time. I think it would help to have a really fun photographer who makes you feel really comfortable in front of the camera.

You also might want to entice him by trying to include some of his interests in the pictures. Does he love his car or truck? Tell him you could take some with you two and the vehicle. Does he have a favorite sports team? Get matching jerseys and take pictures outside the stadium or in a sports bar that he loves. (If these ideas seem super specific it's because I used them both on my FI! See pics)

It might just help for him to know that he doesn't have to wear a suit in the middle of a grassy meadow for the entire afternoon.

sabatron · January 2011

I think engagement photos are a new thing. I don't think most people do them, and to be honest, they can be kind of obnoxious and AWish sometimes. They're kind of pointless, if you think about it, and an unnecessary expense. By the time your engagement pics are ready, everyone and their sister will already know you're engaged. We skipped them along with Save the Dates. No one noticed.

basiamillephotography · January 2011

Explain to him that the engagement session is about more things then just images. It is practice for your wedding day.

Most people who don't like getting their picture taken usually have never had a picture of them that they like!

Lastly, try to choose a location or activity that he likes as well, it will make him more comfortable.

emmalujeske · January 2011

My idea is to do them around the town in which me met and out on his family's land, so comfort shouldn't be an issue.

His favorite thing of all (next to me, of course) is his guitar, so that's a good idea!

It's not that he hates his picture being taken, he just hates the idea of "engagement" pictures! He doesn't see the point. "Practice for the wedding day" is a good one. I'll try it. Also I'd like to incorporate our photos into some aspects of the wedding, too. I tried that, but he didn't go for it.

He's a very handsome man and has no reason to be shy in front of a camera. He's usually the one that ruins pictures with 'the bird', 'rock on' symbol with his tounge hanging out, you know things like that.

LauraT25 · January 2011

I wouldn't be too pushy, if it's something he truly doesn't want to do. Particularly since they can be pretty expensive. You could try saying that it's a good way to get used to having your picture taken (a LOT) and get comfortable with your photographer, but if he still thinks engagement pictures are pointless, I'd probably drop it. I know that I would be annoyed if someone was trying to shove the idea down my throat.

emmalujeske · January 2011

They're kind of like family portraits. You take them to get a good photo of your family during certain points throughout your life. That way you don't have these few alright pictures in which one person had their eyes squinty or closed or a half smile.

Plus, if most grooms had it their way, they would elope. In other words, most if not all brides force their grooms to do something they don't want to do.

Tikki 77 · January 2011

E-photos are indeed a GREAT way for you both to get familiar with your photographer, and vice versa. ..and that alone is something that will make the wedding day photos seem much more relaxed. You can get familiar with the photog's style,rhythm, and personality.

I'm all about keeping my engagement shoots different than the typical "sweet happy couple kissing for the camera". Many couples just want that, but many are all about doing something out of the boring norm!

I'm going to refer you to an e-session by my favorite photographer here in Nashville. He's the best here in town. (hopefully I'm not too too far behind) What I want you to see is a VERY COOL E-photo session. This is proof that a man does not have to look sweet and lovey-dovey in his e-photos. He can be seriously cool. Check out Sean McLellan's website, "McLellan Style". Go to engagements, then to "Christina & Eric". Bigtime coolness! http://www.mclellanstyle.com/

katiedidthat · January 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_photos-video_hates-idea-of-engagement-photos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:30Discussion:c5350038-f0e3-43ef-ab6e-1158810478a4Post:e221d542-528c-427c-a42a-0f31f9a1c78d">Re: He hates the idea of engagement photos!</a>:
[QUOTE]He's a very handsome man and has no reason to be shy in front of a camera. He's usually the one that ruins pictures with 'the bird', 'rock on' symbol with his tounge hanging out, you know things like that.
Posted by emmalujeske[/QUOTE]

While I will agree that "the bird" basically ruins a picture, I do have to say that some of my favorite pictures from our engagement session were actually from when my FI decided to actually be himself and not just pose pretty for the camera. We have photos from that day of him hanging from a tree, winking at the camera while pointing at a "she said yes!" on his skateboard(that I found out about AT the shoot), and kissing my eye. Even though none of those are really the photos we will use for wedding, I still love them because they capture his attitude. Maybe your FI is afraid 'engagement' photos will have to be too stiff, let him know he can show his own self in a few too and I bet you'll love those pictures the best.

LauraT25 · January 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_photos-video_hates-idea-of-engagement-photos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:30Discussion:c5350038-f0e3-43ef-ab6e-1158810478a4Post:6d777ba6-bb3a-46f2-aefb-c7a4c6c3bcf0">Re: He hates the idea of engagement photos!</a>:
[QUOTE]They're kind of like family portraits. You take them to get a good photo of your family during certain points throughout your life. That way you don't have these few alright pictures in which one person had their eyes squinty or closed or a half smile. <strong>Plus, if most grooms had it their way, they would elope. In other words, most if not all brides force their grooms to do something they don't want to do.</strong>
Posted by emmalujeske[/QUOTE]

I disagree, and I'm sorry that you feel this way. And by this logic, if a groom is already being forced to go through with a lot of things he doesn't want to do involving the wedding, I think that's even more reason NOT to force him to do engagement photos if he doesn't want to do them, or spend the money on them.

LauraT25 · January 2011

Also I'm pretty sure that you'll be getting a lot of photos at this 'certain point in your life', at your wedding. I'm not completely against engagement photos, I think they're fine, but I don't agree with one party forcing the other to do them.

jemmini6 · January 2011

For us, the engagement photos are more of an opportunity to work with our photographer prior to our wedding than it is about getting the images. We want to make sure that we understand the direction she gives us and that she listens to our wants as well so that we aren't trying to work out communication issues on our wedding day. The engagement shoot was also included in our contract, I don't think it would have been important enough for us to pay for it if it wasn't though.

mstar284 · January 2011

My FI hates pictures period!! He avoids them at all cost, but he's willing to do engagement photos because this is a special occasion. You can't force him, but just tell him how much it would mean to you, it's only an hour or so out of your life, he can help pick the pictures you use, and it's practice for the wedding pictures. I would show him other engagement pictures so he sees how cute they are. You can also display one at the wedding.

emmalujeske · January 2011

Thanks for all your positive input, ladies!

He hates the idea of engagement photos!

Re: He hates the idea of engagement photos!

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