Two weeks before wedding and people adding dates? Do I pay? Help!

Horse4146 · April 2010

My wedding is in two weeks. FI and I are paying for the whole wedding which is fine. Last month I almost died and had to have emergency surgery with a price tag of $38,000. We are broke but the wedding is paid for. I can only have 50 people at the venue, any more than that is $70 a person. I already got my RSVPs (respond by date was 4/5. i have had several people in the last few days(way after they RSVP'd for themselves only) come up and say they are bring dates. So what do I do? Do I pay for these univited extra people or do I make them pay?

nda_roxybabe · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_two-weeks-before-wedding-people-adding-dates-pay?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9d4ce74e-2b70-4ccd-8f39-d6efa9198823Post:d78de61d-11c6-4919-a31a-7f4992730f2d">Two weeks before wedding and people adding dates? Do I pay? Help!</a>:
[QUOTE]My wedding is in two weeks. FI and I are paying for the whole wedding which is fine. Last month I almost died and had to have emergency surgery with a price tag of $38,000. We are broke but the wedding is paid for. I can only have 50 people at the venue, any more than that is $70 a person. I already got my RSVPs (respond by date was 4/5. i have had several people in the last few days come up and say they are bring dates. So what do I do? Do I pay for these univited extra people or do I make them pay?
Posted by Horse4146[/QUOTE]
Well, did you invite them with guests? If not then call them and tell them you're sorry but they cant bring someone.

mags0607 · April 2010

You simply call the guests up and say that "due to budget/space constraints, the invitation was only for them, and you still hope to see them at the wedding."

If you wrote "and guest" then you an't be upset with them bringing someone, but if you addressed the invite specifically to them only, you need to call them and inform them the invite was for one.

Whatever you do, don't make anyone pay for their guest.

laurenclaire1386 · April 2010

What Roxy said.

nda_roxybabe · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_two-weeks-before-wedding-people-adding-dates-pay?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9d4ce74e-2b70-4ccd-8f39-d6efa9198823Post:5a3de782-ae1a-4c11-bf7a-0e722c0ebc76">Re: Two weeks before wedding and people adding dates? Do I pay? Help!</a>:
[QUOTE]What Roxy said.
Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]
These are some of my favorite words :)

melissamc2 · April 2010

If they were not given a +1 option, they don't get to bring anyone - the end. I'd just very pointedly tell them that it was a one person invitation.

Horse4146 · April 2010

No I specifically invited them and them only. These 7 people are people I work with and knew that I had a limit on invited guests. All of them know too about the financial hardship of the surgery too. I really wish money wasn't an issue but an extra 7 people at $70 each =$490 that we just don't have at all.

riverjib · April 2010

From your post, I'm assuming that these were not invited "plus one" guests. You're having a really small and intimate wedding, so I would assume that the people you invited understand your situation. Expecting people to pay to attend is in poor form, but explaining to your invited guests that you can't accommodate people who weren't invited is perfectly reasonable. I can't imagine RSVPing "plus one" if the invitation was only addressed to me. However, if the person getting married was not particularly close to me and invited only me, I might decline.

Koopa17 · April 2010

Yeah, you'll have to call and tell them you can't swing the extra dates. It might be a little awkward but you'll be glad you did it! Good luck!

Horse4146 · April 2010

I also ada all these people RSVP'd for themselves only on their response cards. This is way after I had to give a final count too...

ces25c · April 2010

That is so rude of them. Just tell them you already gave the final count to the venue and can't change or something like that.
I had so many people who I specifically addressed the invite to just them, but maybe 5 out of 50 rsvp'd only for 1 person. It's so frustrating, but I don't think a lot of people know that to only bring a date if it says "so and so and guest". Thinking you can bring another person so close to the wedding date is just rude though.

Mrs.B6302007 · April 2010

Ditto others. You didn't invite them so you're under absolutely no obligation to pay for their rudeness. Call invitees and tell them add-ons can not be accommodated.

lyndausvi · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_two-weeks-before-wedding-people-adding-dates-pay?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9d4ce74e-2b70-4ccd-8f39-d6efa9198823Post:1965b9ee-2316-488c-8d9a-c0ff813a4da4">Re: Two weeks before wedding and people adding dates? Do I pay? Help!</a>:
[QUOTE]No I specifically invited them and them only.<strong> These 7 people are people I work with and knew that I had a limit on invited guests</strong>. All of them know too about the financial hardship of the surgery too. I really wish money wasn't an issue but an extra 7 people at $70 each =$490 that we just don't have at all.
Posted by Horse4146[/QUOTE]

As long as these 7 people are not married/engaged/living together or in a long term relationship then you need to call and explain the situation.

(while it could happen, I find the odds of 7 co-workers being completely single is unlikely.)

brookelynpaisley · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_two-weeks-before-wedding-people-adding-dates-pay?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9d4ce74e-2b70-4ccd-8f39-d6efa9198823Post:46d87f7c-51d6-424a-a908-1cc10f57a768">Re: Two weeks before wedding and people adding dates? Do I pay? Help!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Two weeks before wedding and people adding dates? Do I pay? Help! : As long as this 7 people are not married/engaged/living together or in a long term relationship then you need to call and explain the situation. (while it could happen, I find the odds of 7 co-workers being completely single is unlikely.)
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

That's what I was thinking. OP, are any of these people in an established relationship as Lynda described? If so, you have to accomodate the plus one. It's rude to invite only half of a social unit. Even if they're coworkers and should know each other and you've planned to seat them all together, it's a major faux pas (fo-pa, anyone?) to not allow their guest.

Two weeks before wedding and people adding dates? Do I pay? Help!

Re: Two weeks before wedding and people adding dates? Do I pay? Help!

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