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Dealing with guests who added children to engagement party RSVP

GailHofferGailHoffer member
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
My fiance and I are hosting a small engagement party at the end of the month that we intended for close family and friends. We also intended to make the party adults only as that is the tone we want for the party.

That said, we recently received an RSVP card back from my fiance's cousin and her husband with 4 marked next to the number of guests to attend. They have two kids. While they are well-behaved and we always intended to include them at the actual wedding. We did not want them to be at the engagement party, which is why their names weren't listed on the invite.

My fiance and I are in a disagreement about how to handle it. He doesn't think it's a huge deal if they come, and I think it is rude. I also think that it may prompt other guests with children to question why they couldn't bring theirs.

Any advice on how to handle the situation would be welcomed!
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Re: Dealing with guests who added children to engagement party RSVP

  • betrothed123betrothed123
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    First you need to come to an agreement with your FI over this.

    If you both agree that the children can't come, call and politely explain the invite was for the parents only.
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  • shellydiane820shellydiane820 member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    Well, first off, its rude to throw your own egagement party.  That being said, politely call the parents to let them know there won't be children attending this party.
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  • sucrets4sucrets4 member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    Ditto shelly - it's really tacky to throw a party to celebrate yourselves.

    However, if you don't want them there, then call and tell them that you're not having kids BUT that they will be invited to the wedding.  That might soften the blow.

    Be prepared for them to decline if they can't bring their kids, though.
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  • zitiqueenzitiqueen member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dealing-guests-added-children-engagement-party-rsvp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2ae70681-8c96-4551-a082-a3ca6b0932e6Post:a8cc4ac2-58e3-4c6b-b1fd-7f8e198e312e">Dealing with guests who added children to engagement party RSVP</a>:
    [QUOTE]My fiance and I are hosting a small engagement party at the end of the month that we intended for close family and friends. We also intended to make the party adults only as that is the tone we want for the party. That said, we recently received an RSVP card back from my fiance's cousin and her husband with 4 marked next to the number of guests to attend. They have two kids. While they are well-behaved and we always intended to include them at the actual wedding. We did not want them to be at the engagement party, which is why their names weren't listed on the invite. My fiance and I are in a disagreement about how to handle it. He doesn't think it's a huge deal if they come, and I think it is rude. I also think that it may prompt other guests with children to question why they couldn't bring theirs. Any advice on how to handle the situation would be welcomed!
    Posted by GailHoffer[/QUOTE]

    Is your FI usually a doormat about such things? FYI -- a wedding ring won't change that.
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    PPs are right.  Technically you aren't supposed to host your own engagement party but there's no going back now.

    Yes, the guest was rude to add her children but the bigger picture here is to come to an agreement with your FI.  

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