I don't need anything from a registry!???!!

next2perfection · March 2010

Please help! My Fiance and I have been living together for 4 years. We are just now able to afford a small wedding. What is a polite way of letting guests know that we don't need another blender or toaster? My photographer has suggested that she can set up a registry with her website for us. This way guests can help pay our photography bill down. Is that insulting or is there a better idea?

nda_roxybabe · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dont-need-anything-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:024ab1f5-ac71-4ffb-bf21-0605665b254bPost:ee29d01c-2d74-43c3-82fe-9267b57d2aa8">I don't need anything from a registry!???!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Please help! My Fiance and I have been living together for 4 years. We are just now able to afford a small wedding. What is a polite way of letting guests know that we don't need another blender or toaster? My photographer has suggested that she can set up a registry with her website for us. This way guests can help pay our photography bill down. Is that insulting or is there a better idea?
Posted by next2perfection[/QUOTE]

I think its a little insulting?!?!!
I would recommend registering for stuff around the house you'd like to upgrade (towel, sheets, nice comforter) and stuff you've always wanted but never could get (Kitchen aid icecream make, margaritaville).

jajph1974 · March 2010

Well of course your photographer would suggest that. The more people contribute, the more she can try to upsell you a bigger package.

Don't do it. This is a bad idea.

If you don't "need" anything, just don't register.

brimcleod · March 2010

Register for things you would like upgrades on. There's always something you can find that you might want. Some people might just give you cash, but I'd suggest at least making a small registry somewhere of some simple upgrades or something. Maybe a second or third set of sheets? Or some new decor? Maybe even some upgraded kitchen stuff, if you cook often.

[Deleted User] · March 2010

I am not a fan of vendor registries. Just use word of mouth to let people know that you have everything that you need. Have you considered upgrading the stuff that you currently have?

JessAndTrav · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dont-need-anything-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:024ab1f5-ac71-4ffb-bf21-0605665b254bPost:978435c2-f81f-4c29-969e-816682ed3742">Re: I don't need anything from a registry!???!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Well of course your photographer would suggest that. The more people contribute, the more she can try to upsell you a bigger package. Don't do it. This is a bad idea. If you don't "need" anything, just don't register.
Posted by jajph1974[/QUOTE]

This.

opalsky007 · March 2010

There is not a polite way to do this, because it is never polite to ask for cash or to ask guests to pay for your wedding.

If you think you already have most of what you need, it doesn't hurt to register for upgrades: high quality stuff that will last you for years. You should also check out the sticky on the Registering and Gifts board, which has a lot of registry ideas you might not have thought of. It's not all blenders and toasters.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · March 2010

Check the "Registry and gifts" board. There is a sticky post at the top called "Don't know what to register for?" or something like that. Most people would recommend doing a small registry of towels, sheets, and things that need to be upgraded or replaced periodically. Or you can always just not register.

picoult81 · March 2010

We had lived together for two years and had everything we needed as well, but I found plenty of stuff to register for. A few examples are:

Kitchen Aid Mixer
Digital picture frame
Nice wedding albums
Airtight food storage containers
A nicer digital camera than the one we had

Simply Fated · March 2010

I agree with the whole vendor registry thing.

My advice is to go to Bed Bath and Beyond and register for some new fluffy pillows and that ice cube tray that makes cute little shapes... a new set of shower curtain rings and that bathroom toothbrush holder with the monkeys on it....know what I mean? Go for it, you only get married once...

kellyjellybelly · March 2010

I thought the same thing: we've lived together for 5 years, we're 30+, there's not really anything we need. Then I decided to just look and see - and I'll be damned if I didn't find a ton of stuff to register for. New sheets, new towels - even things you may not need to replace right now, you can always keep them in a closet for when it is time to pull out the new things. And I actually found a whole lot of things that we don't necessarily need, but would like to have.

I would either find a few things you can upgrade or replace, or I would just not register at all.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · March 2010

Also, not to be rude, but if you've been saving for a wedding for 4 years and can "just now" afford it, are you sure you don't want some really, really nice kitchen appliances and such? Or have you been spending money on that rather than a wedding?

nda_roxybabe · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dont-need-anything-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:024ab1f5-ac71-4ffb-bf21-0605665b254bPost:7a3c5db6-5875-48ba-a92e-ef6bf3bed086">Re: I don't need anything from a registry!???!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Also, not to be rude, but if you've been saving for a wedding for 4 years and can "just now" afford it, are you sure you don't want some really, really nice kitchen appliances and such? Or have you been spending money on that rather than a wedding?
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

I had this same thought.

SarahSmile23 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dont-need-anything-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:024ab1f5-ac71-4ffb-bf21-0605665b254bPost:b069ef4c-46a5-4b57-8f89-5fab30630b65">Re: I don't need anything from a registry!???!!</a>:
[QUOTE]You definitely should NOT register for exclamation points and questions marks. You do indeed have plenty of those.
Posted by kikibaby[/QUOTE]

that was amazing. you got a genuine laugh-out-loud out of me!

notquiteblushing · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dont-need-anything-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:024ab1f5-ac71-4ffb-bf21-0605665b254bPost:7a3c5db6-5875-48ba-a92e-ef6bf3bed086">Re: I don't need anything from a registry!???!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Also, not to be rude, but if you've been saving for a wedding for 4 years and can "just now" afford it, are you sure you don't want some really, really nice kitchen appliances and such? Or have you been spending money on that rather than a wedding?
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

Yes get some nice stuff. And if you don't register, expect lots of random picture frames you don't want.

carrieoz_76 · March 2010

Martha Stewart Weddings magazine actually suggested (in addition to still doing a registry b/c you should at least give ppl an idea) that you could subtly tell people what you'd like without overtly asking them to give you money for a particular purpose.

I'm putting this idea to work with FI's grandma who quilts, but gives them away to charities. When we were at their house the last time, I asked her about her quilting, asked her to show them to me, oohed and aahed over them ("Wow, these are so pretty! I just love them!"). Hopefully she'll get the hint because she's super talented, they're gorgeous and I love the idea of a family heirloom like that.

So, you could try this (Q: How's wedding planning going? A: You know, Aunt Annie, we're working really hard to save for our wedding, but some of the vendors in particular are really expensive. It's a project, for sure!) , but I absolutely would not do a vendor registry. I'd be offended as a guest if I were asked to contribute to your wedding vendors.

sarabear23 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dont-need-anything-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:024ab1f5-ac71-4ffb-bf21-0605665b254bPost:3e137a3e-9b36-4d33-be3a-59cb97dbcb25">Re: I don't need anything from a registry!???!!</a>:
[QUOTE]I know the feeling. We had two of many things when we moved in together and we don't need much. If you truly don't need anything, register with a charity.
Posted by kitnlvr[/QUOTE]

This may not be well recieved by guests. As a guest, I want to give the COUPLE a gift, not some charity that I may or may not support.

GRITS86 · March 2010

Me and my Fi have lived together for about 2 yrs, so when we moved i had not much and his stuff from his single life, not the best stuff, and also we've bought new stuff along the way. So we did register for all new stuff. We are going to have a yard sale to get rid of the old, and the items that are left from that we are donating to a local church. The money we make from the sale we're using towards the wedding and honeymoon, so over all it's a win, win.

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