My fiance's family will be hosting the rehearsal dinner. According to tradition, the rehearsal dinner is low key (a chance for the bride and groom to relax) and should include the immediate family, significant others, the bridal party, and any out-of-towners. There is one problem with this tradition for our wedding............we are getting married where I went to school so almost every guest at the wedding is an out-of-towner.
So that my fiance's family wouldn't have to spend a fortune to entertain every guest at the wedding the night before the actual wedding and so as not to neglect the out-of-towners, I suggested having the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner on the Thursday night before the wedding. Then Friday night, my fiance and I would spend a few hours at a local pool hall/restaurant (we met playing pool) where out of town guests could stop by and have a drink and play pool with us. (My fiance thought this was a good compromise.)
This solution would also be more palatable to me because I find it overwhelming to be in large crowds (and doing so two days in a row and getting married.......I'm stressed just thinking about it). Lastly, I don't want a big party the night before my wedding- it would almost be upstaging the big day.
I know that my fiance told this to his family but their response was- We can't make it on Thursday and we don't care about the money. We're having a big party the night before for all the guests of the wedding. They are continuing to make these plans even though I said that it isn't something I would have a good time at. I'm at the point where I just want to say fine, have your party but I won't be there. But I know that if I do this I'll look like the ungrateful one..........and his family will try to force him to go even if I'm not there.
HELP!